Katie Hobbs

Blowing Smoke With Kari


We are accustomed to receiving election results on election night, but we are not entitled. Naturally, Republicans believe they’re entitled to everything they want. And if they don’t get what they want, they lie and whine like little babies.

Jim Jordan tweeted, “Election results should be known on election night.”
Why? You’re not entitled. In fact, official counting of votes has NEVER been completed by any state on election night. It’s never happened. David Becker, executive director of the nonpartisan Center for Election Innovation & Research, said it’s never happened at any point in our nation’s history. Ever, ever, ever. Never.

Taking days to learn the results of an election isn’t new. We didn’t know who won the 2000 presidential election for over a month, which was into December. Even then, we never really found out who won the most votes as it was the Supreme Court ending the Florida recount in a 5-4 decision, giving it to the…wait for it…Republican. Do you remember the GOP outrage over that? Yeah, me neither.

Before and after the governorship of Arizona was called last night for Democrat Katie Hobbs, and the senate for Democrat Mark Kelly, Republicans were griping about how long the count was taking. Hobbs defeated Kari Lake by over 20,000 votes and Kelly beat Blake Masters by over 126,000. Oddly enough, you didn’t hear these complaints concerning Lauren Boebert’s win for her Colorado congressional district, which took several days to count and handed her a victory of just a little more than 2,000 votes.

If we had stopped counting on election night in Boebert’s district, she wouldn’t be going back to Congress. Eat that, hypocrites.

Tomi Lahren tweeted, “I am utterly disgusted about whatever the hell happened in Arizona. Un-freakin-believable!!!”
Yet, she can’t tell us “what the hell happened” in Arizona. I’ll tell you what happened, Tomi. You lost. You lost because more Arizona voters voted for the Democrats than for the Republicans. That’s it.

Another right-wing goon named Brigitte Gabriel who must be important because she has a blue badge on Twitter unless she paid for it, tweeted, “Mail in voting is a crime against Democracy! Ban it!”
No, it’s NOT a crime. And there has never been a massive election fraud that’s come from mail-in voting. Fact, fat, fuckity, fact, fact.

Marjorie Taylor Greene tweeted, “Our elections are the laughing stock of the world. Other countries do it in one day and count all of their ballots. They get their elections done. I don’t know why the United States can’t accomplish this in one day.”
Actually, Marjorie, there are a lot of things you don’t know. It can take up to ten days after an election in Australia to count all the votes and declare a winner. Canada was still counting votes three days after the 2021 federal election. It can take a week in the United Kingdom. And where winners are announced on election night, like France, you have to take into account that the vote count is conducted by the federal government, not local governments. Also, keep in mind that we have more people than most other countries. There are a little over 65 million people in France compared to 331 million in the United States. The number of voters in the U.S. was more than double the entire population of France.

And Marjorie, the only way our elections make us the laughingstock of the world is because some of our elections are won by ignorant stupid racist goons such as yourself. I’m mostly shocked you didn’t claim the votes were being counted by the Gazpacho Police.

Matt Schlapp, another goon with a blue badge, tweeted, “I’m awed by Katie Hobbs who managed to be in charge of AZ’s election and allowed the biggest suppression of Election Day votes while having her squad count so slowly and privately that no one has any idea what the hell just happened including reporters.”
Actually, Republicans were mostly in charge of the count in Arizona. And again, what happened was you lost.

By the way, Brian Kemp was Secretary of State for Georgia when he won the election for governor of that state. Before the election, he put over 53,000 voter registration applications on hold, with 70% of the applicants being black voters. He also purged 1.4 million voters from the state’s system, again, mostly black voters. He also resisted the federal efforts to secure state voting systems and exposed voters’ data. Did Mr. Schlapp ever express doubt over any of Kemp’s election victories? He was probably too busy schlapping his monkey over election-denying bullshit.

Here’s the problem with mail-in voting for Republicans: Mail-in voting makes it easier to vote, thus more people vote. The more people who vote, the more people who vote against Republicans. The larger the turnout, the more votes Democrats receive. That’s democracy. The Republicans have a problem with democracy.

Over the past decade, more Americans have been voting for Democrats than Republicans. Republicans have only won the popular vote once in a presidential election over the past 30 years. The Republicans’ saving grace is that we have a very flawed system that lets them retain power, and install federal judges, despite the fact most of us hate them.

It’s a lot easier for Republicans to lie, whine, cry, and scream about the system when they lose than it is to offer policies and messages that appeal to the majority of Americans. As it turns out, the majority of Americans believe in a right to choose, choose America over Russia, and don’t like election deniers and insurrectionists all that much. The people who are claiming without proof that something fraudulent happened in Arizona are the same people who supported a coup for a Russian puppet who lost the 2020 presidential election.

Kari Lake said she’d only accept the results if she won. She said that because she’s anti-democracy and pro-fascist, and she knew if every vote was counted, she would lose. It’s why Donald Trump tried to cast doubt on the 2020 election being fair months before the election. He knew he was going to lose. Let me drop a spoiler for you now. He’s going to lose again in 2024.

None of these election deniers have ever produced evidence the 2020 election was won by Donald Trump and stolen by Joe Biden. And before they claim Arizona, Nevada, or any other states’ elections were stolen, they should provide proof. You can bet that if they lose the Georgia runoff in December, they’ll cry foul without any proof there too.

One good reason to vote against a person is if they’re not mature enough to handle losing. Nobody likes losing, but you don’t have to be lying babies about it. The lack of confidence in our elections is only because we have Republican goons telling the American public they can’t trust elections.

No, it’s not elections I don’t trust. I don’t trust Republicans.

Music note: I listened to Nirvana.

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