Karen

Musk You Mansplain?


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Kids, class is in session. Today, I’m going to educate you on the use of a specific slur. Now, not all of you need to be schooled on this but there are quite a few of you who are ignorant motherfuckers, so you’re the ones I’m really talking to.

The slur we’re going to address today is “Karen.” Everybody has heard this used before but some of you aren’t using it correctly. Wait, there’s a question from the class. Is it always sexist to use the slur “Karen?” The best answer I can give you is, probably. But, there are times when it’s definitely sexist.

A few days ago, one of my cartooning colleagues used “Karen” in a tweet. Even though nobody knew who he was tweeting to or what he was talking about, he got screamed at a lot for being sexist. He apologized and promised never to use it again. Even though nobody knew how he was using it except it was supposed to be an insult directed at someone, it was decided it was sexist. It probably was.

Another question? Yes? What is a Karen? Good question.

First off, a Karen has to be white and female. Now, if you call a dude “Karen,” then you are being sexist. Some men are called “Kens.” And since there is a “Ken” maybe that means “Karen” isn’t always sexist. But, the true meaning of Karen means an entitled and demanding white woman. Now if you want to call a black woman a Karen…never mind. Just do it. I dare you.

Remember that lady in Central Park who called the cops because she saw a black guy? Remember that other time when a white lady called the cops because she saw a black family having a picnic? Remember when Donald Trump asked a black reporter to set up a meeting between him and black members of Congress because all black people must know each other (for the part for a minute where that’s NOT a reporter’s job)? Remember the white St. Louis couple who pulled out and pointed guns because black people were walking in front of their house? Ever see a white person ask to see the manager? Ever see a white person screaming they shouldn’t have to wear a face mask during the pandemic? Those are classic Karen moments.

The pandemic has been ripe for Karens.

A few months ago, I was at my favorite sushi place in town and I was standing in line behind a white woman. She was dressed very nicely as if she came from money, but I wasn’t judging…yet. The wait was taking a couple minutes and as a younger lady walked near us, the nicely-dressed woman, I guess she was tired of standing in line, stopped the younger woman and said she just wanted to get a table and if the young woman could take her to one. The young girl told her, “I don’t work here.” The young girl was Asian. And then I said very loudly, “Good job, Karen.”

I lied. I didn’t say that. I only thought it. I was afraid if I did say that, then the older woman would’ve clocked me, or at the very least, I’d still have to stand in line next to her for a few more minutes. I’m not letting no Karen get between me and my spicy tuna roll. But, I think that would have been the proper use of “Karen.” The older white woman was entitled, believing she shouldn’t have to wait in line, and she assumed the younger woman worked at the sushi restaurant because she was Asian.

What is not a proper use of “Karen” is when you hurl it at a female just because she disagrees with you. Basically, if you’re a Republican, you shouldn’t use it at all. If you’re rich, yeah, just don’t. That word doesn’t belong to you. It’s kinda like when liberals called Don Jr “Fredo,” and then Trumpers started using it for Hunter Biden and Chris Cuomo. The “Let’s Go Brandon” morons can’t create good insults. Case in point “Let’s go Brandon.” Also, “snowflake,” and “libtard.”

Billionaire Elon Musk used “Karen” incorrectly. Earlier this week, after being named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year, he called Senator Elizabeth Warren, “Senator Karen,” for saying Billionaire Elon, who’s worth $297 billion dollars, needs to pay taxes.

Elon tweeted at the Senator, “Stop projecting.” What is she projecting? Is that another word you don’t know how to use, Elon? In 2018, Elizabeth Warren and her husband paid $302,227 on $913,000 of income. Between 2015 to 2017, Elon paid $70,000 for those years combined. In 2018, he paid nothing. So, Elon…what is Elizabeth Warren projecting? And that’s when he called Elizabeth Warren “Senator Karen.”

He continued tweeting and said, “You remind me of when I was a kid and my friend’s angry Mom would just randomly yell at everyone for no reason. Please don’t call the manager on me, Senator Karen.” Can anyone make sense of that? Who’s the manager in this situation? Was the friend’s mom in a grocery store while screaming for no reason? Also, how is Senator Warren a “Karen”? Did Elon just skip through a few right-wing memes?

Let me point something out to you, Elon: Senator Warren has a very good reason to scream at you. Every American taxpayer has a very good reason to scream at you. And you don’t know how to use the term “Karen.”

Another person who doesn’t know how to use the slur is Joe Battenfield of the Boston Herald.

Battenfield wrote that Elon used the term “perfectly,” in that Warren is a “rich, privileged, older white woman used to getting her way and bullying people around.” Battenfield claims the “richest man in the world wins this round” and then uses Elon Musk’s slur in calling Warren “Senator Karen.” Battenfield copied it from Elon Musk because again, conservatives suck at coming up with their own slang and nicknames, even the ones who are writers, like Joe Butthole (It’s cool that I call you “Butthole” since we’re making up nicknames for people now, right?). It’s like how they always use Donald Trump’s juvenile insults like, “Pocahontas.” Oh, yeah. Elon sent a tweet with a link to that too. So, not only are Elon and Joe “Butthole” Battenfield being sexist here, they’re both racists.

Also, what’s funnier than “Senator Karen” is “Space Karen.” You’d think Elon wouldn’t want to bring “Karen” back. “Space Karen” is catchy.

But, Joe Butthole…how is Elizabeth Warren bullying Elon Musk? Leave it to a conservative to say a man worth $297 billion is being bullied by a woman. That’s pretty Karenish right there, Butthole.

When you receive billions in government subsidies and then campaign against other billionaires receiving government subsidies, that’s when you lose all rights to accuse others of being entitled, Space Karen. When you spread misinformation on a pandemic and vaccines, that’s when you lose the right to call anyone a “Karen,” Space Karen. When you buy spaceships just for fun and as a novelty, that’s when you lose all rights to call anyone a “Karen,” Space Karen.

Note: I apologize to all the Karens I know, and those I don’t, who definitely are NOT Karens in this sense. I especially apologize to Karen Black, who is one of my very best friends (even though she won’t even try sushi and puts ketchup on everything), is about as liberal as I am, is a huge advocate for saving the environment, and is part Jamaican. Hell, even her last name is “Black.” So, my favorite Karen, and one of my favorite people (even though I once caught her putting ketchup on a hot dog on America’s birthday), is not a Karen. The Karens are making it really bad for the Karens. I propose we drop “Karen” and replace it with “Ivanka.” Who the hell knows an Ivanka?

Music note: I listened to the Rolling Stones again while drawing today’s cartoon. Maybe I should have listened to some David Bowie.

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Ken And Karen


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If you’re on social media, that’s probably how you became aware of this story.

This story started because St. Louis Mayor Lyda Krewson publicized the names and addresses of her constituents who had written to her about defunding the police department during a Facebook Live stream. Protesters were on their way to her house, in a rich and snooty neighborhood, to let her know how they felt about that. Along the way, they encountered this charming couple.

Mark and Patricia McCloskey, who are personal injury lawyers, went out onto their lawn to point weapons at the protesters as they passed by. They were identified by St. Louis Today because, in 2018, they were featured in St. Louis Magazine about finishing renovations to their midwestern palazzo. What the fuck is a palazzo?

I don’t like to get my news from social media, but I will follow a tip. I wanted to know the entire scoop on this. How did I Google search? Did I type, “St. Louis assholes with guns?” Did I type, “St. Louis Snobby McSnobbersons?” Did I type, “Entitled jerkwad couple point guns at protesters?” Did I type, “shoeless racist gun nuts?” Nope.

I typed and searched for “Ken and Karen.” Bingo!

What’s a Ken and Karen? Ken is a male Karen. What’s a Karen? I’m glad you asked.

A Karen is a pejorative term for an older privileged obnoxious entitled woman who demands to get her way. The Urban Dictionary describes it as “rude, obnoxious and insufferable middle-aged white women.” A male of this species is often referred to as a “Ken” or a “male Karen.” “Man Karen” works too.

I know three Karens. I’m not sure about one of them but two are definitely NOT Karens. One is a fabulous musician who has released a couple of albums and whose first performance at SXSW was ruined by the coronavirus. She’s definitely NOT a Karen. The other is like a sister to me, thinks like I do on just about everything with politics, and she’s also not white. Well, maybe a little white. She’s all mixed up. She’s NOT a Karen.

But this pair of Karens in St. Louis are Karens. How entitled are these racist mansion dwellers? They were able to point loaded weapons at peaceful protesters and not be charged. In fact, a police report was filed because the protesters are accused of breaking through a gate and walking down a private street, and in this report, the two Karens are listed as…wait for it…victims.

How are they victims? Because a bunch of black people walked in front of their snooty-ass house? Oh no! Black people! Get the guns. Don’t bother putting on shoes….and yes, Rambo would wear a pink shirt, but tuck it in. Get out there and point!

Fuck the Karens.

In fact, there aren’t any reports of any homes being vandalized along the way. So why were the Karens justified to stand on their lawn, not just with weapons, but pointing them at human beings who were merely walking past their house? Oh yeah. Those human beings were black. If Ken and Karen have any black friends, I hope they never shoot them.

There was a protest in my town over the weekend. A couple of them actually…in support of the police. Shockingly enough, it was almost entirely white. The police didn’t obstruct these protesters. They didn’t follow them waiting for them to do something bad. They didn’t teargas them. They worked to protect those protesters. They worked to guard a bunch of Karens.

Yes, systemic racism is real. Yes, white privilege is a thing.

How can you tell if you’re a Karen? Are you a rich and entitled white asshole? Are you a non-rich entitled white asshole? Do you not believe in systemic racism? Can you protest against Black Lives Matter and get special treatment from cops? Can you stand in front of your mansion and point guns at peaceful black people without any repercussions?

Also, you may be a Karen if you own a palazzo, whatever the fuck that is.

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