Jeopardy

Jr. Jeopardy


cjones05182019

James Holzhauer is on a 22-game winning streak on Jeopardy (in case you’re a Republican, that’s a game show). Holzhauer has accumulated $1.7 million in winnings and has given the game show higher ratings than, get this, The Big Bang Theory and hold on to your lugnuts, Game of Thrones. No shit.

Holzhauer owns the 10 highest single-day winnings in the show’s history, but he doesn’t own the record for most Jeopardy money…yet. That honor belongs to Ken Jennings.

James Holzhauer and Ken Jennings are smart. They have big brains. Let’s talk about someone who does not.

After being subpoenaed to testify before the Senate Intelligence Committee, Donald Trump Jr has agreed to limited questioning from the senators. Wait. How the hell did that happen? He gets a subpoena and agrees to limited questions? Have you ever been called to court and refused or negotiated your terms on testifying? Even Marisa Tomei didn’t get that deal in My Cousin Vinny. Is this a nation built to serve rich douchebags or what?

The deal is, Trumpy Jr will testify if the topics are limited to a half dozen to maybe a dozen (depending on which source you use), and he only has to stay two to four hours. He’s a busy guy who doesn’t have time for accountability. He has a shyster corporation to run, big game animals to shoot, and conspiracy theories and Nazis to retweet.

Trump Jr. refused to be questioned by Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s team. For some reason, Mueller didn’t subpoena him. He testified once before the Senate in a private session and later agreed to return, which he reneged on.

Daddy Trump has wailed that his son is being mistreated and that he had already testified in private for hours upon hours. Yeah, that’s why he’s gotta come back. It’s that testimony that’s raised questions. The Mueller Report contains testimony from more than one witness that contradicts Jr. If you tell the cops you didn’t do something and then ten people contradict you, the cops are probably going to want to talk to you again.

Like his father, Junior has a history of lying. Before news of the Trump Tower meeting came out, he was on Fox News denying there was ever ANY contacts with Russia, and how dare anyone ask if there were.

Junior is a liar. He makes shit up. He retweets antisemitic theories on George Soros. He gives interviews to people who believe in white genocide. He compares immigrants to Skittles. He’s almost as horrible as his father. Maybe by the time he’s 72, he’ll be just as bad and have his very own failed hair transplant, and pornstars to hush.

Senators want to question Junior about the Trump Tower meeting where he was seeking dirt on Hillary Clinton from Russians, and on the secretive Trump Tower Moscow project. Daddy Trump and Junior have both claimed no Moscow deal was in progress, yet Michael Cohen claims there was, they were working on a bribe to Vladimir Putin, and Junior was briefed on the development at least ten times. I wonder if he ever replied, “I love it?”

Lindsey Graham, who once screamed that Bill Clinton and his people had to comply with congressional subpoenas and who also chairs a committee that issues them, said Junior should refuse to testify and ignore the subpoena. No cognitive dissonance there, right? Lindsey Graham has sold his soul for a bag of orange jelly beans, or are they skittles?

I understand the chairman of the committee, Richard Burr, was under intense pressure from his fellow Republicans to comply with Junior. I mean, Junior’s lawyer was threatening to send a letter. Ack! I suppose issuing contempt charges for a person being contemptible was out of the question.

This president needs oversight and that goes for his stupid children who have aided him in subverting democracy. Can someone please go to jail for breaking the law, selling out our nation to Russians, and lying to Congress?

Greg Kihn is a one-hit wonder with the song “Jeopardy” (but check out “The Breakup Song”), which Weird Al Yankovic covered with “I Lost On Jeopardy.” I’m hoping Weird Junior loses on legal jeopardy.

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