Jeb

Good Bye, Jeb

I spent Saturday knowing Jeb Bush would drop out of the campaign later in the evening and I was still considering taking the night off. I thought about putting a Jeb cartoon off until Sunday (published Monday morning). What happened was I ended up drawing two cartoons.

I had an idea I was OK with and I was almost done drawing when I got another idea. An idea I liked better. So I scrapped the cartoon I was drawing and started all over again…around 3:00 AM. I liked the second idea better because it included half the reason Jeb Bush failed. That reason is Donald Trump. The second reason is Jeb Bush. He’s boring and nobody wants another Bush presidency except for people with the last name “Bush.”

Jeb is a nice guy. I think he is. But he’s that nice guy where you leave the conversation early swearing your phone rang and he didn’t hear it because it was on vibrate. Jeb is boring. His brother, for being a nation destroying idiot, is not boring. His father, well he rode on Reagan’s coattails.

The question now isn’t so much as who do his future voters go to, but where does his money go? It goes to Rubio. Yeah, John Kasich is the other chief executive establishment guy, but the primary and delegate map doesn’t work out for him. Rubio is the establishment guy who’s actually placed at least third (maybe 2nd in South Carolina). Jeb’s donors will now flock to Marco. I’m sure he’ll enjoy looking up to them.

This is now a three-man race. Trump is the man for the stupid angry people. Cruz is the guy for the ultra-right wing, crazy religious zealots who want a theocracy. Rubio is for the establishment folks who like the way he talks. Kasich is out of the loop and Ben Carson is Dr. Delusional for even hanging around this long.

With Bush gone the person who will miss him most will be Donald Trump. Now who is he going to call “low energy?” Trump is going to miss Jeb like I miss drawing W. Jeb, you didn’t give me much of a chance.

And that other cartoon I started drawing? Come back for an update. I plan to finish it and share with the world and I’ll offer it to my clients who are afraid of”shut the bleep up.” It won’t be on GoComics.

Update: Here’s the first cartoon. Maybe you’ll like it better than the plane cartoon. I don’t but I did enjoy drawing the Georges.

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W’s Bigger Little Brother

When George W. Bush strode across that flight deck 30 miles off the San Diego coast, wearing a flight suit and boasting “mission accomplished,” it might have been the most obnoxious photo op in political history.

Now Republicans are arguing over how W. kept us safe, and did a good job fighting back after terrorists killed thousands of us. I don’t understand how you talk so much about a terrorist attack which killed thousands of Americans in the same context as “keeping us safe.” After 9/11 Bush destabilized the Middle East, created myths to start a war which killed over a hundred thousand people, killed and injured thousands of Americans and oh yeah…created ISIS. But hey, he kept us safe. And Republicans in South Carolina boo when you bring this up. How dare you talk about facts. How dare your party be so ridiculous that the only one of you who can be somewhat honest about it is Donald Freaking Trump.

The Republicans love to talk about who’s qualified for president. If you think George W. Bush did a good job regarding 9/11 and Iraq then you are not qualified to be president.

Now W. is back trying to help Jeb’s campaign in South Carolina, where he’s currently running fourth. What’s scary is that W. sounds like the smart one.

I watched his speech the other day and it reminded me of the time during his administration when if you questioned him, then your patriotism was questioned. If you weren’t with us you were against us. It was a time that intellect, sophistication, and critical thinking was regarded as a weakness. Mediocrity, stupidity and empty boastful rhetoric was hailed and praised as leadership. Oh, that’s right. We’re still doing that.

Yes, W. was the smart one. Looking at the entire field of Republican candidates, he’s still the smart one. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Jeb Punches Down

Did you witness the verbal smack down Marco Rubio laid on Jeb Bush during the last debate? The funny thing is, Rubio didn’t go after Bush. Bush went after him but Marco was ready. And sure, Rubio is full of all sorts of crap but he really did well on style, plus tearing into Jeb is pretty easy.

The oddest part is is why did Jebby go after Marco? Marco isn’t leading in the polls. If anything Jeb needs to take down Trump and Carson. He needs to punch up, not down. Of course each time Bush got into a tiff with Trump he’s come out for the worse and you can’t really go after Carson because that’s like bullying the paste-eating kid everyone feels sorry for. So that left Rubio. Maybe Jeb should stop picking fights. He’s not good at it.

I think if Jeb wants to start a fight he should go after Bobby Jindal. Sure, nobody cares about Jindal and most people forget he’s even in the race. However I think Bush can take him. Probably. Maybe.

Here’s the thing, Jeb. You’re not ever going to be president so now might be a good time to focus on one of those other “cool things” you could be doing right now. But hey, you might be able to help select the Republican nominee by sacrificing yourself to them in another tiff.

Safer With Trump?

I don’t think it’s fair to blame George W. Bush for 9/11. It’s not that I don’t think he could or couldn’t have prevented the terrorist attack. We don’t know if it could have been prevented. Bush should have paid more attention to reports on an impending attack, but we don’t know that if he did that it wouldn’t have still happened.

Now Donald Trump says if he had been president he would have prevented 9/11. Presidents have more information than you or I or Donald Trump. So it’s kind of something a jerk would say. Kinda like Ben Carson saying he would have rushed a shooter, had he been at a mass shooting.

I don’t have much faith Trump could have prevented 9/11. He couldn’t stop Rosie O’Donnell. But he can protect us from one potential tragedy. Drop out, Donald, so we don’t have to suffer a Trump presidency.

And if you’re into anything on that list, then you suck.

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Stuff Happens

Jeb Bush’s reaction to the mass shooting in Oregon was “stuff happens.” Afterward he said his quote was taken out of context. The presidential candidate’s actual quote is: “We’re in a difficult time in our country and I don’t think that more government is necessarily the answer to this. I think we need to reconnect ourselves with everybody else. It’s just, it’s very sad to see. But I resist the notion — and I did, I had this, this challenge as governor, because we have, look, stuff happens, there’s always a crisis and the impulse is always to do something and it’s not necessarily the right thing to do.” So doing something is not necessarily the right thing to do. I’m glad we set the context straight here. He’s playing to the gun lobby and conservative voters. Those who believe there should not be anymore regulations on firearms and that we probably need more guns in society (because that’s been working out so well so far). Do nothing. Shrug shoulders. What exactly does this guy plan to do if elected? I know if he becomes president a lot of people will be saying something “happens.” It will start with an “S” but it won’t be “stuff.”

This was my second idea. I had my first idea all day Tuesday but I held of drawing it because I was afraid it might be obvious and another cartoonist would draw it. Actually I felt one particular cartoonist would draw it. I’m not psychic. Maybe it’s because I’ve been a fan of his for over 25 years and we both think weird. Yes, he drew a variation on it and I think it was better than my original idea. Here it is.