Hump Day

Stable Cognitive Genius


I read a column yesterday by someone working for a media company who elected to take a cognitive test. In writing about it, his two concerns were his employer might freak out and he may have scored lower than Donald Trump had on his cognitive test.

The writer was concerned his concentration and focus had decreased and at times while speaking, he’d say a word in place of a word he really meant, like “guitar” for “cartoon.” I’m using those two examples because I’ve done that. To pass a cognitive test, you need to score a 26 to be considered “normal” with the highest score being 30. He was concerned because he messed up two questions and Trump claims he had a perfect score. Who wants to be less cognitive than Trump? If that’s the case, you may want to seek serious medical attention.

Of course, we’re talking about what Trump claims. Trump claims he had a perfect score on a test performed in front of several doctors, many who said, “We’ve never seen anybody do what you just did.” I’m thinking he crapped himself while taking the test because I’m sure those doctors have seen people answer every question successfully. It’s an easy test, or at least it’s supposed to be.

The thing is, the test isn’t meant to be difficult. It’s designed to see if you’re “cognitive,” as in, not showing signs of dementia or other mental impairments. The most difficult part of the test is counting down from 100 by sevens, spelling the word “world” backward, and remembering a series of four simple words minutes later. I went over the test myself and the only thing I saw that would challenge is that counting backward thing. Cartoonists don’t do math, at least this one doesn’t. But even then, math would be substituted with spelling a word backward hcihw I nac od.

The other thing about the test is, it’s not meant to prove you’re smart or dumb. Stating the time, date, and the city you’re in doesn’t prove either. A lot of dumb people know where they are. Drawing a clock at ten past eleven doesn’t prove you’re smart because it doesn’t take a genius to draw a circle, count to 12, and know the differences between the big hand and the little hand. Bragging about passing one of these tests is like celebrating you won a game of checkers you played against yourself. If you fail the test, it’s less of a “ha-ha” and more of an “uh-oh.”

And still, Donald Trump said it was hard. Those last five questions, ooh, what a doozy. Donald Trump admitted to Chris Wallace he has a mental impairment. He’s not just a stupid asshole. He has a serious mental defect…in addition to being a stupid asshole.

Donald Trump is boasting about taking the cognitive test as a way of attacking Joe Biden’s mental status. But by boasting you took a test that’s only suggested when there are fears you’re losing your mind, he’s telling us there’s a lot of people around him worried he’s losing his mind. Donald Trump claims he “aced” a test where nobody calls you “Ace” if you ace it. He said Joe Biden “couldn’t answer those questions.” You know, questions like identifying a picture of a camel.

Donald Trump told Fox News’ Chris Wallace during an interview, “Let’s take a test right now. Let’s go down, Joe and I will take a test. Let him take the same test that I took.” Keep in mind, we have not seen the results of Donald Trump’s test. I’m sure if Donald Trump wasn’t stupid enough to tell us he took the test, that we never would have found out.

Wallace said to Trump, “Well it’s not the hardest test. There’s a picture and it says, ‘What’s that?’ And it’s an elephant.” That irritated Trump because he did find it hard to spot that elephant. Trump said to Wallace, “That’s all misrepresentation,” and “I’ll bet you couldn’t even answer the last five questions,” even though Wallace had just told him he had taken the test and it wasn’t hard. I’m guessing Wallace answered those last five questions.

What we need to know is…why? Why did Donald Trump take this test? Who suggested it? Did many people suggest it? What action or statement inspired someone in his orbit to say, “Hey, take this test for dementia.”? How many doctors were in that room? And, can we see the test?

Again, the test is not supposed to be hard…for people who are not suffering any mental impairment. If Donald Trump found the one-page ten-minute test difficult, he’s suffering from mental impairments, and while the test doesn’t prove smarts or dumbness…Donald Trump is dumb enough to announce to the world he’s suffering from dementia.

It has nothing to do with whether he’s suffering from dementia or another ailment that affects how intelligent he is. Donald Trump is a fucking moron. He’s also racist, narcissistic, mean, and a conman lacking empathy. He has the worst personality traits anyone could have on top of having dementia.

Joe Biden does not have a mental impairment. Joe Biden stutters. If you think stuttering is a sign of dementia or has anything to do with how smart a person is, that’s your ignorance and shame on you for thinking it is. Stuttering is a speech disorder that does not indicate any cognitive dysfunction. Boasting you took a cognitive test and “aced” it is an indication of cognitive dysfunction.

And voting for Donald Trump, putting the nuclear codes in his tiny hands, and leaving the security of this nation to a racist, narcissistic, reality TV host who’s a fucking moron with dementia is another sign of a cognitive dysfunction.

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