Huma Abedin

Hillary’s Weiner


cjones11012016

I wasn’t going to draw a cartoon tonight. I’m three days ahead with my cartoons to my clients. If you only view my cartoons at GoComics, who runs everything I do because I upload it myself, you’re a few days behind (you should subscribe to GoComics at only $2.00 a month, subscribe to me, and I’ll get a portion of that. Support your favorite cartoonist…and then support me too). I was gonna take the night off. I was going to eat some pork chops and watch my Cubs win game 3 of the World Series. Only one part of my plan happened. The Cubs did not win, I did not take the night off, and I did eat some pork chops.

My plans to be leisurely failed because the FBI decided to announce they were reopening the email case against Hillary Clinton. It’s a good thing I don’t go anywhere without my drawing stuff.

I’m mad. I’m angry about this. Not because of the unfairness toward Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party. I’m angry because this is political. Eleven days before an election and you want to pop up with this crap?

Let’s take a look at what we know. The FBI’s investigation into Hillary’s use of a private server is over her handling of classified information. This new stuff concerns Anthony Weiner, the mad sexter. Weiner is married to Clinton’s top aide, Huma Abedin. They are now estranged over Weiner’s last sexting scandal.

The FBI was investigating Weiner’s computer since he was accused of some nasty stuff with a 15-year-old. They found something on the computer which was also used by Huma.

What we know is that the emails were NOT on Clinton’s server. They were NOT sent by Clinton. They were NOT on Clinton’s computer. So how in the hell is this about Clinton’s handling of classified information? It’s not.

I’m going to make a bold statement and tell you that this isn’t going anywhere. Huma might be in trouble but I don’t see how this implicates Clinton with mishandling classified information.

I’m mad because we have Russians trying to tamper with our election. We don’t need the FBI to start twerking with the process.

Here’s another reason I don’t think there’s anything to this reopened investigation: Hillary Clinton wants to talk about it. She never wants to talk about her emails. She’s clamoring for the FBI to release everything they know. Hillary Clinton never wants that.

This is an October surprise and it’s a huge fail. Trump claims it’s as big as Watergate which means he didn’t even see the movie, less enough follow the investigation or study history. How can you say something is “bigger than Watergate” when you don’t know what’s in it? How can Republicans be so gleeful over the FBI director basically saying they need to see if the new emails are significant?

Trump is also angry that Hillary is critical of the FBI over this handling. Like Trump has only had nice things to say about the FBI before Friday.

I don’t expect most of my clients to run this cartoon, but that’s OK because I give them more than I promise. My internet-only publications will love it. I’m taking tomorrow off. You have enough cartoons from me. Let me sleep. I’m probably taking tomorrow off.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

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Yuge Weiner News


cjones09012016

Anthony Weiner is a serial sexter.

For the Boy Scouts reading this, sexting is when you text a picture of your junk. You gotta know what I mean by “junk.” You’re on the internet.

Anthony Weiner is a former congressman from New York City. He let sexting destroy his congressional career in 2011. It almost destroyed his marriage to Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin, but she hung in there (no pun intended).

The controversy kinda blew over (again, no pun intended) and in 2013 he ran for mayor of NYC…and guess what happened. Mr. Weiner got embroiled in another sexting scandal, this time under the alias “Carlos Danger.” He was not elected mayor. Abedin again, stuck it out (you’re gonna start thinking I’m doing these puns on purpose).

His wife has been in the center of controversies regarding the Clinton Foundation so the last thing she or the Clinton campaign needed was another assist by Mr. Weiner. As scheduled, Anthony trying to live up to his last name stuck his crotch into a camera phone…again. He said he was conversing with an old friend and there was nothing lewd about the pictures. This supposedly non-lewd picture, exposed by The New York Post (did I say “exposed?” I swear I’m not even trying), shows his and Abedin’s young son in the pic right next to Anthony’s crotch.

How did that come about? “Hey, check out my baby boy….and check out this bad boy.”

Who does that? You send a picture of your crotch next to your child? There’s a baby picture you don’t want coming up on your 16th birthday. Here I am with Daddy’s crotch. Anthony, you sick bastard.

Huma has had enough and she’s not taking anymore. She’s finally decided to separate from the Weiner man. Unless she’s texted him her decision he’s probably not aware of it. Right now everyone needs to calm down and hope nothing else stupid comes along.

Enter Donald Trump.

Trump, who’s apparently seriously and heavily invested in the Weiner relationship, sent out the statement “Huma is making a very wise decision. I know Anthony Weiner well, and she will be far better off without him.” If they get back together that’s gonna be so awkward for Trump next time they hangout.

Trump also used the couple’s personal issues to make an argument against voting for Clinton. He claimed it was unsafe for Clinton to have classified information around Abedin who would then take it home to her husband who would then text it out. Unless that information was written on Mr. Weiner’s penis I don’t think we’d be in any danger.

Trump is right. We should be very concerned about who the candidates have around classified information. What if one them had a Russian lobbyist as a campaign manager? That threatens the nation a lot more than Anthony’s ding-a-ling.

A few days ago when basketball player Dwyane Wade’s cousin was shot in Chicago Trump tweeted out how horrible it was and that African-Americans will be propelled be the event to vote for Trump.

Everything has to do with Donald Trump. Terrorist strike in Paris? Better vote for Trump. A gunman shoots up a gay nightclub in Orlando? Better vote for Trump. A young mother taking her baby out in a stroller gets shot on a sidewalk in Chicago ? Better vote for Trump. A famous person’s marriage implodes? Better vote for Trump. A dog crap on your lawn today? Better vote for Trump. Got the trots? Better vote for Trump. They cancelled Mike & Molly. Better vote for Trump.

There’s an argument that Trump is unfit to be president. Republican Ana Navarro said Trump is unfit to be human.

Trump says he knows Anthony Weiner very well and I believe that. They’re both sociopaths.

Better vote for Trump.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!