Howard Hessemen

Cruzin’ Into A Flytrap


As I prepare to write this blog, I did a news search on Google for “Ted Cruz,” and there’s a brand new Cruz controversy since he made his stupid racist statement about Biden nominating a black woman to the Supreme Court. Take a day off, Ted.

Last year during a winter freeze that froze Texas, Ted Cruz bailed on the state for an impromptu getaway in sunny Cancun, Mexico. Yesterday, as another winter freeze was bearing down on his state, he tweeted out a joke about rising ticket prices to Cancun. I know Ted Cruz is trying to be funny, but it’s not working. Ted will never be as funny as his face, but his soul is uglier.

Monday, Ted Cruz went off on his podcast…wait. Ted Cruz has a podcast? Are podcasts becoming the new memes when it comes to racist right-wingers disseminating conspiracy theories and lies?

Anyway, Ted took to his podcast to gripe about President Joe Biden’s promise to nominate a black woman to the Supreme Court. Ted said Biden’s pledge to nominate a Black woman sent a message to other Americans that they are automatically “ineligible” because of race and gender.

Ted screamed, “The fact that he’s willing to make a promise at the outset, that it must be a Black woman, I got to say that’s offensive. You know, Black women are what, six percent of the U.S. population? He’s saying to 94 percent of Americans, ‘I don’t give a damn about you, you are ineligible.’”

Actually, Ted. Most Americans are ineligible as typically, only lawyers serve on the Supreme Court, so technically, each justice on the Supreme Court represents less than 0.003 percent of Americans. And don’t get me started on all the lawyers in the House and Senate.

My friend Mike Peterson pointed out today on his blog at The Daily Cartoonist, while black women represent seven percent of the population (not six), they represent 12% of the population by race and 51% by gender.

Ted also said, “If he came and said, ‘I’m gonna put the best jurist on the court and he looked at a number of people and he ended up nominating a Black woman, ‘Okay, I’m nominating the person who’s most qualified.’ He’s not even pretending to say that, he’s saying, ‘If you’re a White guy, tough luck. If you’re a White woman, tough luck. You don’t qualify.’”

Is that what Donald Trump said when he promised to nominate a woman before he nominated Amy Coney Barret to the Supreme Court? Do you remember Ted Cruz clutching his pearls on that one? No, you don’t because he never did.

Also, if President Biden promised to put the best jurist on the court, never made a statement about race, and then nominated a spectacular black female judge for the position, Ted Cruz would still vote against that person and would most likely make a pubic statement about the candidate’s race and gender.

He also claimed Biden’s upcoming Supreme Court pick was “actually an insult to Black women,” though the only black woman we could find insulted by it is Candace Owens, who herself is actually an insult to black women.

Ted is worried there’s going to be a nomination to the Supreme Court that will only represent six percent of the population. Hey, good job pretending you care about shit like that, Ted. But let me point out that all three of Donald Trump’s picks represented the minority vote of the 2016 election as more voters preferred Hilary Clinton over Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin. Let me also point out that these picks barely scraped by on Republican votes in the Senate, where despite there being a GOP majority during the Trump administration, Democratic Senate candidates received 7 million more votes than Republican Senate candidates in 2016. Today, at this very moment, Democrats in the Senate represent 41,549,808 more people than Republicans represent. Let me write that so a Republican can read it. That’s more than FORTY-ONE MILLION.

Let’s not forget Ted is in favor and in full support of Republicans wiping out voting rights for black Americans, thus increasing a minority-Republican hold on power. There’s also that little incident where Ted supported a coup to overturn a democratic election to install the Republican loser, who lost by nearly eight million votes, as a fascist dictator.

White men are 30 percent of the U.S. population yet held 62 percent of ALL elected offices. Women hold just 31 percent of elected offices despite making up 51 percent of the population, and non-whites hold just 13 percent of elected offices despite making up 40 percent of the population.

On top of all that, Ted Cruz represents the state of Texas despite the fact that racist demagogic sleazy condescending lying douchebags who might be the Zodiac Killer and who throw their wives and daughters under the bus while burying their faces between the orange ass cheeks of fascists wannabes are not the majority of the state’s population.

Do us all a favor, Ted. Go back to Cancun, but this time…don’t come back.

Creative note: After I made the WKRP joke in yesterday’s blog, I thought it would make a good cartoon. I was going to remove it before publishing the blog but then decided to leave it in as there are not a lot of people who read this blog.
When proofer Laura saw this cartoon, she told me that I’m old. I am old and I was a huge fan of WKRP in Cincinnati. Dr. Johnny Fever and Venus Flytrap were my two favorite characters…after Bailey Quarters. Unlike most kids, I didn’t have a crush on Loni Anderson. I was crushing on Bailey.

Music Note: Today I listened to Traffic and The Who while drawing.

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