Hillarys Emails

Hillary’s Weiner


cjones11012016

I wasn’t going to draw a cartoon tonight. I’m three days ahead with my cartoons to my clients. If you only view my cartoons at GoComics, who runs everything I do because I upload it myself, you’re a few days behind (you should subscribe to GoComics at only $2.00 a month, subscribe to me, and I’ll get a portion of that. Support your favorite cartoonist…and then support me too). I was gonna take the night off. I was going to eat some pork chops and watch my Cubs win game 3 of the World Series. Only one part of my plan happened. The Cubs did not win, I did not take the night off, and I did eat some pork chops.

My plans to be leisurely failed because the FBI decided to announce they were reopening the email case against Hillary Clinton. It’s a good thing I don’t go anywhere without my drawing stuff.

I’m mad. I’m angry about this. Not because of the unfairness toward Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party. I’m angry because this is political. Eleven days before an election and you want to pop up with this crap?

Let’s take a look at what we know. The FBI’s investigation into Hillary’s use of a private server is over her handling of classified information. This new stuff concerns Anthony Weiner, the mad sexter. Weiner is married to Clinton’s top aide, Huma Abedin. They are now estranged over Weiner’s last sexting scandal.

The FBI was investigating Weiner’s computer since he was accused of some nasty stuff with a 15-year-old. They found something on the computer which was also used by Huma.

What we know is that the emails were NOT on Clinton’s server. They were NOT sent by Clinton. They were NOT on Clinton’s computer. So how in the hell is this about Clinton’s handling of classified information? It’s not.

I’m going to make a bold statement and tell you that this isn’t going anywhere. Huma might be in trouble but I don’t see how this implicates Clinton with mishandling classified information.

I’m mad because we have Russians trying to tamper with our election. We don’t need the FBI to start twerking with the process.

Here’s another reason I don’t think there’s anything to this reopened investigation: Hillary Clinton wants to talk about it. She never wants to talk about her emails. She’s clamoring for the FBI to release everything they know. Hillary Clinton never wants that.

This is an October surprise and it’s a huge fail. Trump claims it’s as big as Watergate which means he didn’t even see the movie, less enough follow the investigation or study history. How can you say something is “bigger than Watergate” when you don’t know what’s in it? How can Republicans be so gleeful over the FBI director basically saying they need to see if the new emails are significant?

Trump is also angry that Hillary is critical of the FBI over this handling. Like Trump has only had nice things to say about the FBI before Friday.

I don’t expect most of my clients to run this cartoon, but that’s OK because I give them more than I promise. My internet-only publications will love it. I’m taking tomorrow off. You have enough cartoons from me. Let me sleep. I’m probably taking tomorrow off.

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Hillary’s Health Scare


cjones08232016

The current arguments against Hillary Clinton must not be good enough reasons for people to vote against her. The GOP is pushing the narrative that she’s a liar despite the fact they have a nominee that only tells the truth about 10% of the time. They’re still pushing the email server issue and the Clinton Foundation and are pressing for more investigations. After 20 years they haven’t let go of her husband’s infidelity issues. Still, none of that is good enough for Republicans because they’re falling back on conspiracy theories and making stuff up.

Over the past couple of weeks they were whispering rumors about her health. The biggest conspiracy lovers among them were sharing pictures of Clinton being helped up some steps as if she was an invalid. Never mind that we actually had a president who was in a wheel chair and another who continued to serve after suffering a stroke which rendered him paralyzed (you get bonus points today if you know which president that is without Googling for the answer).

Those whispers have now turned into shouts. Donald Trump himself has questioned his physical and mental health which is obvious he’s reflecting his own condition. Now he’s released one of his favorite attack dogs, who traded in his credibility and dignity a few years ago, to make a case out of the health issue.

Rudy 9/11 Giuliani is now scaring up talk over Clinton’s health. This is the same guy who ran for president after beating prostrate cancer.

This is the new birtherism and the birthers are now healthers. That means they don’t need facts. They just need someone to say it and a few rabid right wing websites to bark it out.

These healthers are using junk science and conspiracy theories to argue that Clinton is suffering from brain injuries. Why don’t they just say she’s growing a tail? Giuliani claims the media is hiding evidence about the former Secretary of State’s health and that people should go online to find the truth. If you Google about Clinton’s health what you’ll find is Giuliani spreading theories about Clinton’s health. This stuff is almost as far-fetched as saying Chelsea had four plastic surgeries to hide that Bill isn’t her real father…wait. Someone is pushing that too. At what point do extra terrestrials enter into this?

There is not any evidence here or anything to hide. Clinton’s physician, the only person to speak on the record who has actually examined her, has repeatedly affirmed her health and physical fitness.

Meanwhile Donald Trump’s physician who released a letter affirming the GOP nominee’s fitness isn’t a general practitioner, but a gastroenterologist. He doesn’t mention if he gave Trump a colonoscopy but in fairness, if you had to perform that procedure on Trump you’d probably want to forget it also.

The really weird part of this ass doctor’s letter is where he wrote “if elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.” Why would a doctor say that? Did this doc travel through time and look up Mallard Fillmore’s bum? Can he tell us how much corn he found in William Henry Harrison’s stool? And what about Taft? That was one serious fat bastard but Trump would still be older than him if elected. I find it hard to believe The Donald could be healthier Than JFK or Teddy Roosevelt. Even Reagan, who is our oldest president, physically walked into the hospital after he was shot. Trump let bone spurs keep him out of Vietnam and probably wouldn’t be capable of walking into a clinic if he had a splinter. By the way, Teddy was shot while giving a speech and he continued and finished his speech.

I would totally be raising my eyebrows and give health conspiracies another look if Clinton’s letter from a physician was worded the same as Trump’s. Trump’s letter, which used the word “positive” makes you question how many venereal diseases he’s acquired throughout his life. Quite frankly I want to know if my president has herpes.

I do believe a candidate’s age and health are fair issues to discuss to a point. It was fair to question Reagan and McCain’s age and health. It’s fair to ask about Clinton’s. It’s even more fair to ask about Donald Trump, who is two years older than Clinton. After the answers are given then it’s time to let it go and maybe focus on actual issues.

If we want to start conspiracy theories about stuff we don’t have information on, let’s talk about Trump’s taxes. Is he in the mafia? Accepted bribes from the KGB? Financed Justin Beiber’s first album? We need to know what sort of maniac we’re electing.

None of this conspiracy crap is surprising. At least with the Swift Boaters smear campaign the candidate was separated from it. In this case we have a nominee who cites the National Enquirer, spreads rumors that Ted Cruz’s dad was in on the JFK assassination, Obama was born in Kenya, and now wants to know if Mika and Joe from Morning Joe are bumping uglies.

In other news more than 14,000 additional emails are about to be released from Hillary Clinton’s time as Secretary. This may not give her a heart attack but could possibly raise the blood pressure of her supporters.

For the answer on which president suffered the stroke, it was Woodrow Wilson. Did you cheat?

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Hacking Hillary


cjones05272016

Right now Hillary Clinton might prefer talking about Bill Clinton’s philandering than her email server.

A State Department watchdog issued a report that Hillary Clinton violated rules over her use of a private server. We all knew that. What we did not know was the extent of it.

Clinton claims she had approval to use her personal server which was stored in her New York home’s basement. She didn’t. She claims she’s happy to talk to anyone at anytime about the issue, yet she declined to talk to the Inspector General during their investigation. Several of her aides also declined, with one not even responding to the request.

John Bentel, director of the Office of Information Resources Management, declined to be interviewed during the investigation. When a staffer raised concerns that Hillary’s email violated rules, he told the staffer never to speak of it again. It’s like Fight Club over at the State Department.

It’s so much like Fight Club, that only a few people were even aware Clinton was using a private server. She refused to use a  State email and even refused to release her email address to the State Department. The senior officials outside of her privileged circle who became aware of her private email, only became aware because her emails to them originated from a rotating cluster of private clintonemail.com addresses. That sounds more like the habit of a drug dealer buying a new cell phone and number at Walmart every week.

Clinton claims her server was safe from hackers, but it turns out there were several attempts to break into her email. Clinton didn’t report these attempts to the State Department and apparently took them about as seriously as those emails from that Nigerian Prince (Nigeria is not a monarchy, by the way).

It is extremely difficult for a presidential candidate to fight the perception of being dishonest by being dishonest. It also gives Donald Trump more leeway to use the nickname “Crooked Hillary” even though he doesn’t really understand the issue.

Now with all this bad stuff, what does this mean for Clinton? It means she violated a rule and that’s really it legally. This isn’t a criminal offense. It’s a stupid offense. You can use this to determine whether you should vote for her or not. I would rather live with Clinton’s dishonesty than Trump’s. At least Clinton knows what she’s lying about.

Yes, the State Department’s email system is extremely convoluted and inept. Yes, other Secretaries had personal emails, but the rules change every few years. Blackberries weren’t in widespread use during Colin Powell’s tenure (did they even exist at the time?) and Condoleeza Rice claims she never used email, which I find amazing (I have only one friend who’s not on any social media and even he emails though it’s a real pain explaining twitter, hashtags and trending to him. I’m not even gonna attempt to explain “poking”).

Most of the people who will use this EmailGate brouhaha are like Donald Trump, and they don’t really understand it. It is complex and conservatives don’t do well with intricacies. While there isn’t any criminal level transgression here, the larger issue is Clinton’s candor.

I don’t really care about her emails or server. I do care about the honesty. I believe she’s evasive with answers because she doesn’t believe she should be bothered with the questions. Trump lies because he’s pathological and actually believes his lies and that he’s still in the business of selling steaks, even while he’s replacing the food mart labels with Trump labels. Trump is likely to tell us he’s 20 feet tall, and believe that he’s 20 feet tall, and that we should all go fact check it. When you ask him about it tomorrow he’ll talk about Monica Lewinsky or refer to Elizabeth Warren as Pocahontas.

Hillary Clinton will be president. There will be more dishonesty. There will be scandals, which will be a huge change after the scandal free Obama administration (yes, you wingnuts. Scandal free). Bill Clinton will break something. But a Hillary Clinton presidency will not destroy the nation like a Donald Trump presidency will. I would vote for Mitt Romney and that agenda of everything I’m against before I could poison my nation with the buffoonery of Donald Trump.

Your issues in this presidential election may be Emails, Benghazi, Bill Clinton’s greatest sexcapades of the 1990’s. The biggest and most dangerous issue is Donald Trump. You should email this blog and cartoon to one of his supporters.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!