hackers

Uber Hack


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I’m sure you’ve heard about the Uber hack. No, not a hack of outstanding proportions (well, maybe it was). It was a hack of Uber, the company, which employs private contractors to scoot you around town in their personal cars.

Uber has had some bad press lately, so you may be thinking, “good. Screw those guys.” Not so fast. If you use Uber, this hack hit you.

Just like hackers broke into Equifax and stole your information, they did the same thing with Uber. Hackers stole personal data from 57 million customers and drivers. Uber says they got names, phone numbers, email addresses, and driver license numbers. What do you want to bet they got credit card information also? Uber wouldn’t be sneaky and lie to us, would they? They’re honest, right?

No, they’re not. They concealed the hack for over a year and even paid a ransom of $100,000 to the hackers. The hackers assured Uber they destroyed all the information. Golly, don’t you feel better now? We can all sleep at night and enjoy our turkey and pumpkin pie today without worrying about hackers having our info. If you believe that then you probably believe stuffing a duck inside a turkey is a good idea too.

There’s a reason you don’t pay ransoms. That reason is, if you pay it once then you’re gonna pay it twice, and probably a third time, and a fourth, etc. You’d probably figure out the duck/turkey thing is a bad idea after only one time. Paying ransoms encourages the hackers to steal from other companies. The lesson the hackers learned is, hacking pays.

I’m just speculating here, but what if the hackers were North Korea? Uber may have just financed their next rocket. Good job, Uber.

Uber may not be alone. Last year, a medical center in Los Angeles paid hackers $17,000 to stop messing their stuff up. How many other companies have paid off hackers? Here’s the most bothersome part, other than your credit card being stolen and North Korea having a new rocket….these companies aren’t paying so much to be left alone or to retrieve information. They’re paying so the hack isn’t made public.

Hacks destroy public confidence. It makes customers wary of giving up their information. It makes stocks go down. In Uber’s case, it also tells cities that Uber can’t self-regulate, can’t manage their own data, and can’t be trusted with public safety. Uber’s business model is convincing local governments that they shouldn’t be subject to the same kinds of regulations as conventional taxi companies. Concealing the hack was Uber’s way of concealing they’re an inept organization.

Regulators can slap companies with millions in fines if they fail to notify the proper authorities of security breaches, and that’s what they should do to Uber. Uber, along with Equifax, needs to be slapped around.

When I do business with a company I like to think I can trust them. Uber has proven to me they can’t be trusted.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Hacked Devices


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I have to admit that I am not very knowledgeable with a lot of technological gadgets. I don’t feel a need to own the newest cell phone, tablet, TV, laptop, etc. When I put my fairly old flat screen TV up in my new place my friend who helped me was disgusted with how old it was and that the frame around the screen was so “large.” It works for me. The only reason I have a Surface Pro 4 was because it was for my work which is the one thing I am super picky about. I’ll never figure out all the amazing things I can do with it as I’ve only used it for surfing the internet and creating my cartoons. I’m a very bad and lazy nerd.

So when WikiLeaks revealed hacked data informing the world that the CIA has the capability to hack into cell phones and televisions, I had some research to do.

Oh my god! The CIA is reading and viewing everything about you? Why at this very moment someone at Langley is laughing at your penis pictures stored on your phone. Well, not really.

When I say “not really” I’m talking about the hacking. You should probably still delete those penis pictures. It’s very doubtful the CIA is hacking into your phone, television, or Cuisinart.

WikiLeaks claimed that the CIA can “bypass” encrypted message apps such as Signal and WhatsApp and they gave the impression they were doing wide sweeps on the entire world population. I had not even heard of those two apps before. Do you know why WikiLeaks dumps thousands of pages at once instead of trickling them out? It’s because the press will run wild with the headlines before they can go through all the details of the documents. If they did that then the outrage wouldn’t be as intense as it is now. I’m pretty sure I’m the only political cartoonist in the nation who read the details of the CIA’s capability within those leaks. After you read it you still have to understand it.

What WikiLeaks actually revealed is that the encrypted apps work very well and the CIA has to develop more advanced techniques to target individuals one by one, not a wide sweep of multiple devices. You’re in more danger of your little sister hacking into your phone and using your twitter to announce your hemorrhoids to the world than of the CIA snooping on you. I seriously doubt spooks have much interest in your cat pictures, no matter how adorable you attest that they are.

The techniques the CIA is using to target individual phones is to use the apps the same as the user they’re targeting. These methods are not new and have been open information at geek conferences. The only new information is that the CIA is using them.

Did you understand any of that? I had to read this New York Times article three times. I lied. It was more than three times. Please read it in case I didn’t do a good job of explaining it here. It’s the best explanation to this entire WikiLeaks insanity.

I think the bigger news is that the CIA can be hacked into. Our president, who said he loved WikiLeaks, has been pretty silent on this latest cache dump. He’s the head of our government and it’s being threatened by the same hackers who worked with the Russians to help him become president. Now they’re still threatening our nation. It’s an uncomfortable position in that he swore and took an oath to protect our nation and also declared his love for our enemy’s handiwork.

WikiLeaks is trying to discredit our intelligence agencies as they investigate Trump’s ties to Russia. Let’s not forget that during our outrage at the CIA.

If you voted for Donald Trump and you still believe in him then you’re crazier than anyone talking to their vacuum cleaner.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

A Candidate For Treason


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On Thursday Donald Trump requested that the Russians release the 30,000 emails Hillary Clinton deleted from her server.

Russia is the main suspect for the hack into the DNC servers which was released by WikiLeaks. It is kinda bizarre they’re not hacking and releasing information on Republicans, or Trump’s taxes. I wonder why not….hmmmmm.

Encouraging a foreign government to break U.S. law to help your election is treasonous. In fact, it would be a felony if Mr. Trump was convicted. This man who was upset a Supreme Court justice had an opinion on the election wants the Russians to tamper with our electoral system.

Does Donald believe the Russians want what’s best for the United States, or is he just that stupid? He could be both. This is a guy who thought Tim Kaine was governor of New Jersey. If I hated America, I’d want Trump to become president.

Now Trump says he was being sarcastic. Many of his supporters say he was joking. Yeah, I can see how one could mistake his statement as a joke since many are convinced his campaign is one, but not this time. This was a joke the same way when a girl shoots down your suggestion of sleeping together and you attempt to cover by saying you were only joking. Riiiiiight. You didn’t want that booty and Trump didn’t really want the Russians to hack into Hillary’s server.

Go stand in line at the airport and tell the TSA agents you have a bomb, and then explain you were joking. Except this time, Trump is in line for the presidency. Quite frankly, I believe he should experience the discomfort of a body cavity search for his remarks, but I’d pity the poor agent who had to conduct the search. Melania knows what I’m talking about….and Chris Christie (who is actually governor of New Jersey).

This election isn’t about conservative versus liberal principles anymore. It’s about a thin-skinned bully, who’s a racist, and is extremely ignorant about how anything….ANYTHING…works, vs. hey, a person who you may not like so much but is actually qualified for the job.

Yes, the person you don’t like might raise the minimum wage, fight for equal rights for women and minorities, might engage in foreign relations that aren’t that different from a Bush, or even tighten up restrictions on gun sales just a teensy eensy bit. The other one would put us under martial law, attempt to imprison those who insult him, attack a nation he can’t find on a map for a small-hands joke, give half of Europe to Vladimir Putin and totally wipe his ass with the Constitution. This is a person who has screwed over everyone who has ever invested in him, and you have to think about it?

Most of the time you can respect someone’s opinion when they disagree with you. If you’re voting for Trump, I don’t respect that. It’s stupid. This is not a normal candidate one merely disagrees with the direction they want to take the country. This is a candidate dangerous for the country. A president is president for all the people, not just those who elect him. If Trump is president, he will be a disaster for all the people…even those who elect him. But Vladimir Putin will probably make it work for him. If you’re voting for Trump, yes you are an idiot. If you’re having a hard time deciding between Trump and Clinton, you’re still an idiot.

Castor oil may not taste good and it’ll give you the runs, but you’d still rather drink it than bleach.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Lucky Bastards


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I figure some of my clients wouldn’t be afraid of the word “bastards” while others wouldn’t touch it. So I made the cartoon a little safer.

Yesterday the internet was knocked out in North Korea. Many are blaming the United States and our government hasn’t denied it. Of course most citizens in North Korea aren’t aware it’s out as only about a thousand people in the country are allowed to use the internet.

I think the official state-run website for North Korea should be hacked. Yes, they have a website. I’m not going to post a link to it but it’s hilarious. It’s all happy, happy, joy, joy, praise Dear Leader.

Someone should hack into that site and post The Interview along with Team America. Maybe on top of that post a bunch of Kim Jong Un memes. That would make his hair stand straight up…if it wasn’t standing up already.

Team America, Exclusive Cartoon for The Daily Dot


dailydot12242014I actually drew a cartoon on Dick Cheney and terrorism for The Daily Dot this week. It was a very risque cartoon commenting on rectal feeding. My editor at the Dot thought it over and approved it. By that time my mind had changed and I thought it would be better to do something on the hacking of Sony by North Korea. After all, The Daily Dot focuses on internet related news. They give me free range on topics but I thought this subject would be better for them.

I still like the Cheney butt cartoon and may post it in the future, at least the rough.

Check out The Daily Dot for a lot of really great content, in addition to my cartoons. Starting in January I’ll start drawing three cartoons a month for them.