We’ve had two mass shootings in the span of a week. Last week, a shooter killed eight in Asian massage parlors in the Atlanta, Georgia area. Yesterday, another shooter killed ten in in a large supermarket in Boulder, Colorado. One of those killed was a cop.
Boulder enacted an assault weapon ban in 2018. What’s an assault weapon? It’s the type of gun someone would use to kill ten people in a supermarket. Ten days ago, a court blocked the ban.
The Colorado State Shooting Association, one of the plaintiffs that sued Boulder over the assault weapons ban, issued a statement saying, “There will be a time for the debate on gun laws. There will be a time for the discussion on motives. There will be a time for a conversation on how this could have been prevented. But today is not the time.”
To the Colorado State Shooting Association, and to everyone else who’s ever said, “Now is not the time,” I have to give a big “fuck you.” Fuck you and fuck your “now is not the time.” If there’s a mass shooting every week, then there will never be a time to debate gun laws. Stop using this as an excuse to abdicate your responsibility. Today is the time. Tomorrow will be the time. Next week will be the time. And every day before this shooting was the time to discuss gun safety…yet, you didn’t want to do it.
Here’s a question for the Colorado State Shooting Association: Was the shooter a member of your shooting association? I mean, from your name alone, it sounds like he would have qualified because he was a shooter.
There is one way to stop these weekly mass shootings and that is to get rid of assault weapons. And before you cry, “That won’t work,” let me point out, it’s worked everywhere in the world that it’s been tried. But you may be right in that it won’t work here because we have a gun fetish. There is no other nation in this world where its citizens want to fuck their guns as much as we do. We are a nation that is more comfortable with having children shot in schools than the idea of registering a gun.
For an example of American gun fetish, look at Colorado Representative Lauren Boebert. She’s just two cracked egg shells shy from being Marjorie Taylor Green in the Qanon fucknut division. While she doesn’t represent Boulder, geographically, her district covers half the state.
Boebert, like a lot of Republicans, is a deranged lunatic. She has close ties to the extremist militia group the Three Percenters, a group that’s 100 percent Nazi. They were involved in the terrorist attack on the U.S. Capitol.
She did an interview on a Qanon radio show (that’s a thing?) and said she was “very familiar” with the group and, “Everything I’ve heard of Q, I hope that this is real because it only means America is getting stronger and better.” She hopes that Democrats are eating babies with their pizza? Still, probably better than pineapple.
She repeated a conspiracy theory pushed by the conspiracy fucknut newspaper, The Epoch Times, that there were documents declassified by Trump that would soon spark massive resignations in the House and Senate, and Republicans would retake both chambers (this is the good part) BEFORE 2022. Also, Hillary Clinton will soon be arrested for something or other. Maybe that baby pizza thing.
During the white nationalist attack on the Capitol, Boebert tweeted details about the police response and attempted to help terrorists find the location of Speaker Nancy Pelosi. This would be like your guard dog showing burglars where you keep your safe and giving them the combination. She voted against certifying the election based on the lie it was stolen from Trump and has been accused of helping instigate the attack…probably because she helped instigate the attack.
During the Conservative Political Action Conference a few weeks ago, she enlisted other members of the House to vote for her due to the coronavirus…but she was actually at CPAC helping to spread Qanon and Trump conspiracy bullshit.
When she’s not aiding racist anti-government terrorists to attack our nation, she enjoys zooming with her guns.
Boebert is a gun nut. She claims she has to carry a gun at all times, even when speaking on the House floor, because someone was beaten to death outside the restaurant she owns in Colorado (where every customer gets to shoot their entrée before consuming it). The fact is, someone was in an altercation several blocks from her restaurant, and after running away, collapsed in front of her place from what an autopsy determined was methamphetamine intoxication.
By the way, her restaurant is Shooters Grill in the town of Rifle. I swear to God and on all my guitars, I did not make that up. One of the Yelp reviews says, “Hey y’all, if diarrhea is your favorite way to expel calories, you’ve found your shortcut to weight loss right here!” Do they have country fried steak? I was going to post the link to the restaurant but Google says it’s not safe….just like the restaurant.
Boebert is a big fan of not just carrying a gun, but posing with it. She made a video of herself (since Republicans like using this word, we’ll use it for them) PARADING while smirking with a gun strapped to her hip. She has made a huge issue of averting metal detectors in the Capitol and has become a right-wing fucknut hero over her gun brandishing.
Boebert claims if she’s prohibited from carrying a gun into a House Natural Resources Committee hearing (which I’m assuming she’s on), then the chairman of the committee, Raul Grijalva, must pay for her personal protection, as in hiring security guards to follow her around. These people who are afraid to even do a Zoom call without a gun accuse others of being cowards for wearing face masks. “Afraid to leave the house are ya’?” while they have Glocks hidden in their ass cracks.
She said, “The chairman is trying to take responsibility for my personal safety while stripping away my Second Amendment rights.” I have read the Second Amendment multiple times and I haven’t found the part where it states you can carry a gun into any room or building you want to. The greatest danger you’re going to face in the United States Capitol is if a far-right racist terrorist group attacks it. Maybe she’s afraid that if that happens, someone will tweet out her location. Quick! Grab the ass Glock!
There is a regulation that exempts members from a federal law banning firearms on the Capitol grounds. But, weapons are still prohibited on the House floor. This has not stopped a gun fucker like Boebert from being a pistol-packing mama on the House floor.
During a Zoom meeting of the committee she’s on, Boebert made sure to use her gun fetish as her background (while I struggle for my apartment not to look like a warehouse during my Zoom meetings or keep my bed from appearing). Boebert had several guns right behind her head. When the committee resumes meeting in person again, she intends to bring her guns with her unless a Democrat pays for her security detail.
Representative Jared Huffman said, “Here’s the reality — if somebody wants to have a shrine to their gun fetish as a Zoom backdrop in their private life, they can do that, but this is our hearing room. At some point we will get past the COVID epidemic and we’ll all start showing up in person and our safety and our ability to conduct business civilly without feeling threatened is a relevant consideration, unfortunately.”
And her fellow House members should feel threatened by her. Why? Because she is a security threat. She’s packing a gun, supporters terrorist groups, and let me remind you…helped terrorists attack Congress. So yeah….members of Congress should be very aware of how dangerous she is.
Members of Congress deserve to feel safe and not live in fear of being shot by a raving lunatic while on the House floor or in committee meetings. Also, you should feel safe not to get blasted by an automatic weapon by a maniac while you’re going to school, the movies, or shopping. All three of those have been the scene of a mass shooting in Colorado.
I have three newspapers in Colorado who subscribe to my cartoon service. They are The Colorado Reporter in Denver, the Colorado Springs Independent, and Boulder Weekly. I hope all my friends in Boulder are safe and my thoughts are with them.
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