Gun Safety

Boebert To Boulder

Cjones03252021

We’ve had two mass shootings in the span of a week. Last week, a shooter killed eight in Asian massage parlors in the Atlanta, Georgia area. Yesterday, another shooter killed ten in in a large supermarket in Boulder, Colorado. One of those killed was a cop.

Boulder enacted an assault weapon ban in 2018. What’s an assault weapon? It’s the type of gun someone would use to kill ten people in a supermarket. Ten days ago, a court blocked the ban.

The Colorado State Shooting Association, one of the plaintiffs that sued Boulder over the assault weapons ban, issued a statement saying, “There will be a time for the debate on gun laws. There will be a time for the discussion on motives. There will be a time for a conversation on how this could have been prevented. But today is not the time.”

To the Colorado State Shooting Association, and to everyone else who’s ever said, “Now is not the time,” I have to give a big “fuck you.” Fuck you and fuck your “now is not the time.” If there’s a mass shooting every week, then there will never be a time to debate gun laws. Stop using this as an excuse to abdicate your responsibility. Today is the time. Tomorrow will be the time. Next week will be the time. And every day before this shooting was the time to discuss gun safety…yet, you didn’t want to do it.

Here’s a question for the Colorado State Shooting Association: Was the shooter a member of your shooting association? I mean, from your name alone, it sounds like he would have qualified because he was a shooter.

There is one way to stop these weekly mass shootings and that is to get rid of assault weapons. And before you cry, “That won’t work,” let me point out, it’s worked everywhere in the world that it’s been tried. But you may be right in that it won’t work here because we have a gun fetish. There is no other nation in this world where its citizens want to fuck their guns as much as we do. We are a nation that is more comfortable with having children shot in schools than the idea of registering a gun.

For an example of American gun fetish, look at Colorado Representative Lauren Boebert. She’s just two cracked egg shells shy from being Marjorie Taylor Green in the Qanon fucknut division. While she doesn’t represent Boulder, geographically, her district covers half the state.

Boebert, like a lot of Republicans, is a deranged lunatic. She has close ties to the extremist militia group the Three Percenters, a group that’s 100 percent Nazi. They were involved in the terrorist attack on the U.S. Capitol.

She did an interview on a Qanon radio show (that’s a thing?) and said she was “very familiar” with the group and, “Everything I’ve heard of Q, I hope that this is real because it only means America is getting stronger and better.” She hopes that Democrats are eating babies with their pizza? Still, probably better than pineapple.

She repeated a conspiracy theory pushed by the conspiracy fucknut newspaper, The Epoch Times, that there were documents declassified by Trump that would soon spark massive resignations in the House and Senate, and Republicans would retake both chambers (this is the good part) BEFORE 2022. Also, Hillary Clinton will soon be arrested for something or other. Maybe that baby pizza thing.

During the white nationalist attack on the Capitol, Boebert tweeted details about the police response and attempted to help terrorists find the location of Speaker Nancy Pelosi. This would be like your guard dog showing burglars where you keep your safe and giving them the combination. She voted against certifying the election based on the lie it was stolen from Trump and has been accused of helping instigate the attack…probably because she helped instigate the attack.

During the Conservative Political Action Conference a few weeks ago, she enlisted other members of the House to vote for her due to the coronavirus…but she was actually at CPAC helping to spread Qanon and Trump conspiracy bullshit.

When she’s not aiding racist anti-government terrorists to attack our nation, she enjoys zooming with her guns.

Boebert is a gun nut. She claims she has to carry a gun at all times, even when speaking on the House floor, because someone was beaten to death outside the restaurant she owns in Colorado (where every customer gets to shoot their entrée before consuming it). The fact is, someone was in an altercation several blocks from her restaurant, and after running away, collapsed in front of her place from what an autopsy determined was methamphetamine intoxication.

By the way, her restaurant is Shooters Grill in the town of Rifle. I swear to God and on all my guitars, I did not make that up. One of the Yelp reviews says, “Hey y’all, if diarrhea is your favorite way to expel calories, you’ve found your shortcut to weight loss right here!” Do they have country fried steak? I was going to post the link to the restaurant but Google says it’s not safe….just like the restaurant.

Boebert is a big fan of not just carrying a gun, but posing with it. She made a video of herself (since Republicans like using this word, we’ll use it for them) PARADING while smirking with a gun strapped to her hip. She has made a huge issue of averting metal detectors in the Capitol and has become a right-wing fucknut hero over her gun brandishing.

Boebert claims if she’s prohibited from carrying a gun into a House Natural Resources Committee hearing (which I’m assuming she’s on), then the chairman of the committee, Raul Grijalva, must pay for her personal protection, as in hiring security guards to follow her around. These people who are afraid to even do a Zoom call without a gun accuse others of being cowards for wearing face masks. “Afraid to leave the house are ya’?” while they have Glocks hidden in their ass cracks.

She said, “The chairman is trying to take responsibility for my personal safety while stripping away my Second Amendment rights.” I have read the Second Amendment multiple times and I haven’t found the part where it states you can carry a gun into any room or building you want to. The greatest danger you’re going to face in the United States Capitol is if a far-right racist terrorist group attacks it. Maybe she’s afraid that if that happens, someone will tweet out her location. Quick! Grab the ass Glock!

There is a regulation that exempts members from a federal law banning firearms on the Capitol grounds. But, weapons are still prohibited on the House floor. This has not stopped a gun fucker like Boebert from being a pistol-packing mama on the House floor.

During a Zoom meeting of the committee she’s on, Boebert made sure to use her gun fetish as her background (while I struggle for my apartment not to look like a warehouse during my Zoom meetings or keep my bed from appearing). Boebert had several guns right behind her head. When the committee resumes meeting in person again, she intends to bring her guns with her unless a Democrat pays for her security detail.

Representative Jared Huffman said, “Here’s the reality — if somebody wants to have a shrine to their gun fetish as a Zoom backdrop in their private life, they can do that, but this is our hearing room. At some point we will get past the COVID epidemic and we’ll all start showing up in person and our safety and our ability to conduct business civilly without feeling threatened is a relevant consideration, unfortunately.”

And her fellow House members should feel threatened by her. Why? Because she is a security threat. She’s packing a gun, supporters terrorist groups, and let me remind you…helped terrorists attack Congress. So yeah….members of Congress should be very aware of how dangerous she is.

Members of Congress deserve to feel safe and not live in fear of being shot by a raving lunatic while on the House floor or in committee meetings. Also, you should feel safe not to get blasted by an automatic weapon by a maniac while you’re going to school, the movies, or shopping. All three of those have been the scene of a mass shooting in Colorado.

I have three newspapers in Colorado who subscribe to my cartoon service. They are The Colorado Reporter in Denver, the Colorado Springs Independent, and Boulder Weekly. I hope all my friends in Boulder are safe and my thoughts are with them.

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Watch me draw.

Is That An Alligator In Your Pocket?

I know. Go ahead and give it to me. This is very insensitive and has poor timing. I’m not good with sensitive or sacred cows…or in this case, reptiles. At least I didn’t go with my first heartless idea which consisted of an alligator eating Mickey Mouse. Pissing off the NRA, Trump, and Republicans I’m good with. Disney on the other hand….ugh.

If there was a huge money-making alligator industry and rednecks used them to overcompensate for their tiny penises, there would be a trade organization buying off congressmen to make sure anyone could buy an alligator at any time.

Right now the Democrats in the U.S. Senate are conducting a filibuster to force the Republicans to schedule a vote on gun control. This has totally stopped all Senate business….which means it’s pretty much like any day in the Senate.

Republicans HATE to talk about gun control. The only issue they hate talking about more is Donald Trump. If you really wanna flummox a GOP office holder, ask him about Trump’s revolving position on guns.

Creative note: I’ve had a theme with alligators the past few days. Last week I drew Donald Trump with alligator arms (played that off a Geico commercial). Today I drew a commissioned cartoon with crocodiles for a brand new client that’s based outside the United States (Claytoonz is going international. You’ll see it Friday). Now today I drew this. I can’t help it. I like reptiles.

I really like reptiles. I once worked in the reptile house of a small zoo in northeast Louisiana in the late 1980’s. My favorite story from that brief adventure comes from the day we cleaned the alligator pool. I didn’t do any actual cleaning but it was my job to keep the gators and Alligator Snapping Turtles away from the cleaners. I was armed only with a stick. There were five gators in the tank. They were all under six feet long except for this one mother. Before we could drain the pool we had to get one gator out which we did with a lasso. That took several hours. Some genius designed the pool where the drain was in the deep end and had to be manually unplugged. Nobody likes diving with alligators.

The alligators cooperated for the most part. The turtles, not so much. In fact, the turtles concerned me a lot more than the gators.

A large chunk of my childhood was spent in Louisiana. When I was a kid my older sister and I swam in a bayou with them. As a teenager my buddies and I swam in the same water. We never had an issue. When I was around ten or eleven we actually had two pet baby alligators, which was and still is illegal. I didn’t know that at the time and thankfully, the statute of limitations has long passed. We only had them for about a week. They weren’t as cuddly as we thought they might be. I got bit a lot. They never bit my sister once.

I do feel really bad for the parents who lost a child this week in Orlando to an alligator attack. That city had one tragic week. Losing a child under any circumstance is a horrible thing to live with. I know. It’s something I’ve been very close to. I’m sure Disney will never make this family wait in line for Pirates Of The Caribbean ever again.

A lot of people are asking questions about the parents, just like when that Cincinnati gorilla thing happened. Thing is, things happen. This is a freak occurrence that’s a true tragedy. I don’t think there are any safety measures that can prevent something like this happening once in a million years, especially after you build tourist resorts on a swamp.

Before posting this I searched for hashtags and one of them is “Disney Gator” which sounds a lot happier than it really is.

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Gun Baby

The elected lunatics in Iowa want to arm children. Yeah, they think that’s a good idea. They’re actually passing legislation to that effect.

Last year 215 people were accidentally shot by children. Little Junior is a greater threat than ISIS.

Skippy’s Got A Gun

Obama promised to deliver executive orders to decrease gun violence. Guess what wasn’t in any of it? Taking away your guns.

Obama is not coming to take your guns. There’s been this narrative for seven years he’s coming for them, yet you still have your guns. If he’s coming for your guns, he better get busy because he’s running out of time. In fact, he hasn’t even talked about taking away guns.

Last Friday in Oregon protesters lined the streets to scream at Obama not to take their guns. OK. He’s not taking your guns.

Sometimes when it comes to criticizing Obama logic and facts is not applied.

At what point will you believe he’s not coming to take your guns? Will you still believe it when he’s out of office?

I don’t know if we’ll ever have gun control in this country. Here’s a fact: We will never round up guns. Right wingers say there are too many and they’re right. There are too many guns and they’re in the hands of the few. But we can’t round them up.

We do need strict regulation. Regulation gun lovers will hate. We need legislation that tracks every single gun sale. Every single one. No sales without background checks. No sales of ammunition without a background check. There should be a limit on amount of ammunition.

You should be required to possess a license to own a gun. You should have to renew your license. Yes, the second amendment gives you the right to own guns. It doesn’t say it can’t be regulated. It doesn’t say you shouldn’t be held unaccountable.

Will this regulation stop gun violence? Not immediately. But eventually it will decrease and the amount of illegal guns out there will rise to the surface, unfortunately through crime.

This country is insane for guns. We don’t make much sense when it comes to ownership. It doesn’t make much sense to have such a blind devotion to it. Personally, I think people who are nuts about guns are overcompensating. Personally, I don’t need a gun to feel like a man.

It’s time for us to adopt a culture that when it comes to guns, we start making sense.

I drew this cartoon very early Tuesday morning. I finished coloring it Tuesday night. The last thing I put into the cartoon was the father’s name. I toyed with making it a conservative cartoonist’s name, but I couldn’t decide which one, and then I decided not to. I figured some would think it was a shot across the bow when I was actually just trying to have fun. Plus, I couldn’t think of any that deserved the attention and it would go to his or her head.

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Update: Here’s the rough. I had a very hard time getting the angles the way I wanted.

And this was my view while drawing.

Stuff Happens

Jeb Bush’s reaction to the mass shooting in Oregon was “stuff happens.” Afterward he said his quote was taken out of context. The presidential candidate’s actual quote is: “We’re in a difficult time in our country and I don’t think that more government is necessarily the answer to this. I think we need to reconnect ourselves with everybody else. It’s just, it’s very sad to see. But I resist the notion — and I did, I had this, this challenge as governor, because we have, look, stuff happens, there’s always a crisis and the impulse is always to do something and it’s not necessarily the right thing to do.” So doing something is not necessarily the right thing to do. I’m glad we set the context straight here. He’s playing to the gun lobby and conservative voters. Those who believe there should not be anymore regulations on firearms and that we probably need more guns in society (because that’s been working out so well so far). Do nothing. Shrug shoulders. What exactly does this guy plan to do if elected? I know if he becomes president a lot of people will be saying something “happens.” It will start with an “S” but it won’t be “stuff.”

This was my second idea. I had my first idea all day Tuesday but I held of drawing it because I was afraid it might be obvious and another cartoonist would draw it. Actually I felt one particular cartoonist would draw it. I’m not psychic. Maybe it’s because I’ve been a fan of his for over 25 years and we both think weird. Yes, he drew a variation on it and I think it was better than my original idea. Here it is.

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Country Music Lovin’ Gun Owners Express Themselves

I’m not a big country music fan. If you challenged me to name three songs by any country artist I would probably fail. I think the genre is cliche driven and aims for the lowest common denominator. I know of one that came out fairly recently with lyrics “chew tobacco, chew tobacco, chew tobacco, spit.” This is not Lennon/McCartney stuff. It’s Nickelback with a twang.

The music is not deep but it’s written for people who mistake sappy sentimentality for something deeper. They’re a very emotional and reactionary audience.

That audience is so emotional and reactionary that Billy Currington has just dropped out of playing a concert to benefit survivors of the Sandy Hook shooting tragedy. Country fans are livid and hostile to the performers booked for this concert.

Tim McGraw is the headliner for this show and his fans are threatening to stop buying his music, or even stealing it on the internet. Country fans consists of gun nuts and interpret “hey, maybe exercising some gun safety” as a threat to their right to own guns and accidentally shoot their own foot off. They fail to see that they’re threatening McGraw’s constitutional right to state his opinion.

To McGraw’s and opener Chase Bryant’s credit, they’re still playing the show. They’re showing a lot more spine than Currington who tweeted, then deleted “i didn’t sign up for s***. just hearing about it like you are. so f*** u too.” He later stated “I’ve never been one to take on controversial issues.”

Well, Mr. Currington. I’m in a very different line of work and I will take on controversial issues. But, if that whole music career thing fizzles have you ever considered being a newspaper publisher?

claytoonz

Nationally Syndicated Editorial Cartoonist