Girdle

Classified Arooga


Classified documents have been discovered at the Indiana home of former vice president (sic) Mike Pence. This really hurts some of the stupid defenses of Trump having classified documents and the attacks on Biden.

Remember, Donald Trump intentionally took classified documents. He resisted efforts to return all of them. He lied about having them. He had his lawyers sign affidavits lying about having them. He claimed he owned the documents. He still claims he owns them. He’s also lied that he only took empty folders that formerly contained classified documents. He did take some empty folders but he also took documents.

One of the dumb defenses is that Trump was allowed to take classified documents because he was president, but a vice president is not allowed. The first tiny batch found in President Biden’s Delaware home landed there while he was vice president. This is a very stupid defense and it’s not true at all. Classified or not, a president, or former president, is NOT allowed to steal documents that are government property.

This destroys the argument that Biden intentionally stole documents because Mike Pence’s defense is the same as his.

According to reports, documents packed and sent to Pence’s home were conducted by his aides. The same is probably true for President Biden’s documents. Donald Trump picked and chose which documents to keep because he thought they would be “cool keepsakes.” Trump purposely took the documents and tried to sneak them out. I’m shocked the FBI didn’t find tiny soaps and bottles of shampoo from the White House at MAGA-Lardo.

The problem with misplaced classified documents doesn’t appear to lie with Pence or Biden, but with the system that’s currently in place. So what now?

Does Merrick Garland appoint another special counsel to investigate Mike Pence? Pence’s lawyer said two boxes were found with classified markings, which sounds like a greater number of documents than what was found in President Biden’s home.

The finding of documents takes some of the pressure off President Biden. Both cases appear to be administrative errors. The teams for both men immediately contacted the National Archives and volunteered to turn the documents over. Both men cooperated.

Donald Trump’s team believes this proves all three cases are administrative errors and there shouldn’t be criminal charges in any of these events. The only problem with that is, Trump’s situation is NOT an administrative error. It’s a criminal one. Donald Trump stole the documents, refused to cooperate, and lied about them.

Another hole for the MAGA argument is that you don’t have credibility when pretending to be outraged over Biden having documents when you didn’t care that Trump did it worse.

Now, for all you ninnies who keep asking why the FBI isn’t “raiding” the homes of President Biden, it’s because he cooperated. Donald Trump was given several opportunities over the span of over a year and a half to cooperate. The National Archives were pushed by Trump’s refusal to cooperate and had to contact the Justice Department, which then granted a warrant for the FBI to search Mar-a-Lago. If they hadn’t, Trump would still be sitting on classified documents at his country club.

As for the gripe by the pinheads that Hunter Biden, who has contacts with China, had access to his father’s garage where the documents were kept…There were white nationalists, mob bosses, spies from foreign governments, and Jared Kushner who was paid $2 billion by Saudi Arabia for reasons that are still a mystery who all had access to Mar-a-Lago. Shaddup, pinheads.

And the argument that the Secret Service guarding Trump at Mar-a-Lago was also guarding the classified documents, no they were not.

On another note: You’re going to see this kind of joke repeated but with different punchlines. I’ve already seen one cartoon on documents found at Mount Vernon and a meme of them found in Lincoln’s log cabin. There was nothing more to the jokes than the documents found at those locations, but you’re going to see more of them.

Music note: Naturally, I listened to the Kaiser Chiefs while drawing this.

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