Gay Rights

Supreme Gaydar


Right now, someone at Hobby Lobby is crying their homophobic balls off.

The Supreme Court decided by a 6-3 margin, that the 1964 Civil Rights Act also protects gay and transgender workers from workplace discrimination. Let me put this so the fucknuts can comprehend it: Your boss can’t fire you for being gay…so you can come out now. He can’t even fire you if you work in a bakery refusing to bake gay wedding cakes. How a cake can be gay, I don’t know but still…they can’t fire you.

The real shocker with this ruling is that two of the court’s more conservative justices voted in the majority. John Roberts, who is the Chief Justice and has sided with the liberals in the past, and the occupier of Merrick Garland’s seat, Neil Gorsuch. In fact, Gorsuch wrote the majority opinion.

Gorsuch breaks it down for you also, writing, “An employer who fires an individual merely for being gay or transgender defies the law.” Before this ruling, even with gay marriage legal, it was still legal in half the states in the nation to fire someone simply for being gay, bisexual, or transgender. Now, all those right-to-work states are going to have to go back to firing people without giving a reason. That’s still legal. They can fire you for being gay as long as they don’t tell you why you’re being fired.

Donald Trump, the president (sic) who nominated Gorsuch for that stolen SCOTUS seat, said, “I’ve read the decision and some people were surprised, but they’ve ruled and we live with their decision. He added it was a “very powerful decision, actually.” The truth is, he’s not happy. His administration has been busting gay rights since he came into office.

Donald Trump has urged the court to rule against gay workers. He’s barred most transgenders from serving in the military. Just last week, the Department of Health and Human Services issued a regulation that removed protections for transgender patients against discrimination by doctors, hospitals, and health insurance companies. Even though Donald Trump said Caitlyn Jenner could use the bathroom at Trump Tower (watch out, Caitlyn. There’s a bunch of goons at the doorway), he’s not really progressive with LGBTQ issues.

Justice Samuel Alito wrote the dissenting opinion saying, “The common understanding of sex discrimination in 1964 was bias against women or men and did not encompass discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. If Congress wanted to protect gay and transgender workers, he wrote, it could pass a new law.”

Let me break down Alito’s argument: Because homophobia was more acceptable in 1964 when the anti-discrimination act was written and the creators of that law had no intention of protecting LGBTQ people, that law should not protect LGBTQ people.

Seriously…this guy is on the Supreme Court? That was basically reasoning you could find in the parking lot of a Trump rally but presented with much more eloquent words than, “fuck the gays.”

Thank you, Justice Neil Gorsuch. You did the right thing. Now, if you want to continue to do the right thing, before every vote you should ask yourself, “What would Merrick Garland do?” Then do that.

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Exciting Hater Franchising Opportunities


You don’t hear a lot of news out of the nation of Brunei. Your average schmoe probably forgets it exists, if he even knew it in the first place.

Brunei is tiny and on the other side of the world. The population is only 430,000 people, which is fewer than the number living in Miami or Virginia Beach. Brunei actually owns a cattle farm in Australia that’s larger than Brunei.

Brunei is on the north coast of the island of Borneo, which is also occupied by portions of Malaysia and Indonesia. It’s classified as a developed country and has the second highest Human Development Index among southeast Asian nations after Singapore. Wealthy from oil production, it’s ranked fifth in the world by gross domestic product per capita and is only one of two nations with public debt at zero percent of the national GDP. It’s an absolute monarchy ruled by Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah, who is also the prime minister. One of the richest men in the world, the Sultan is said to own the world’s largest home and the biggest collection of rare cars. This economic, industrialized powerhouse is governed by Sharia Law and starting this week, the punishment for gay sex between men is death by stoning.

Sharia is Islamic law based on the Quran and other writings, though interpretations can vary widely. A statement from the Sultan’s office says, “Sharia, apart from criminalizing and deterring acts that are against the teachings of Islam. also aims to educate, respect and protect the legitimate rights of all individuals, society or nationality of any faiths and race.” I guess under Brunei’s Sharia Law, sexual orientation isn’t a “legitimate” right.

Brunei hasn’t executed anyone since 1957, but they’re pretty excited by the stoning idea. It will also apply as punishment for extramarital sex, anal sex, abortion, rape and some forms of blasphemy or heresy, like ridiculing the Quran or insulting the Prophet Muhammad. Theft and some other crimes will be punished merely by chopping off hands and feet. While dude-on-dude sex is death by stoning, lesbian sex will “only” be punished with 40 lashes.

Celebrities like George Clooney, Elton John, and Ellen DeGeneres have called for a boycott of luxury hotels owned by Brunei, which includes the Beverly Hills Hotel, the Hotel Bel-Air in Los Angeles, and the Dorchester in London. There are also calls to boycott Shell as they’re in the oil production business with Brunei. Maybe Brunei can look for foreign investment elsewhere.

Chick-fil-A was denied from operating in airports this week in Buffalo and San Antonio over their anti-LGBTQ positions and support for hate groups. Conservatives are calling this religious discrimination, ignoring that Chick-fil-A has donated millions to groups that discriminate against gays and lesbians, such as the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, the Paul Anderson Youth Home, and the Salvation Army, which it says “spread an anti-LGBTQ message,” and teach that homosexuality is a sin.  It’s also given to Exodus International, which supports gay conversion therapy, and the Family Research Council, which the Southern Poverty Law Center has classified as a hate group. Conservatives argue that the SPLC’s hate group ratings can’t be trusted because they’re biased against hate groups.

Chick-fil-A’s president and CEO Dan Cathy stated on a radio show in 2012, “I think we are inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say, ‘We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage.’ I pray God’s mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about.”

Do you know where else they’re worried about God’s judgment on their nation? Brunei. With Buffalo and San Antonio not working out for the homophobic chicken people, perhaps they could tempt the Sultan with some new and exciting franchising opportunities.

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