Flag Humper

Creepy Flag Love


A phony person will overly exert himself to prove he’s something he’s not. The biggest trait of a phony is they’ll find what you like and profess to love it just as much. For example, I might tell you I like Taco Bell and you might say you do as well, or not, but a phony will try to convince you that he loves Taco Bell so much, he moved into a Taco Bell and named his kid Chalupa. Maybe another example would be a Republican who has built his entire image opposing gay marriage but is later discovered in a men’s bathroom stall with six guys and a Barbra Streisand CD.

I love America but I don’t feel the need to dry hump a flag to prove it. Donald Trump, on the other hand, being the treasonous type who has displayed his love for all things Russia and Putin, feels the need to overcompensate by walking onto a stage before an audience and treat an American flag to the point he’s going to need a non-disclosure agreement.

What else can he do to convince you he loves America more than anyone else, seduce a bald eagle? Nope. That’s already happened and the eagle said “no.” Maybe he can give an apple pie the Jason Biggs treatment.

I never thought nationalism was pretty, from forcing children to pledge allegiance to political candidates attacking other candidates for not wearing a flag pin, but it doesn’t get much uglier than watching Donald Trump get flag gropy.

What was even uglier was Trump’s Saturday speech at CPAC, the Conservative Political Action Conference, which should replace “conservative” with “cult.” There’s nothing conservative about them anymore and with this change, it would be more honest and they can keep their acronym.

Trump rambled and screamed for the CPAC crowd for over two hours. He incoherently went on about tariffs, the Green New Deal, Robert Mueller, witch hunts, James Comey, Chuck Schumer, the media, reporting on his crowd sizes, his government shutdown, immigrants, food stamps, abortion, and lied about Hillary Clinton’s electoral vote number. He even dropped a few curse words.

Trump displayed his stupidity in lying about the Green New Deal. He described it as banning electricity, and that nobody will be able to watch TV if the wind’s not blowing. Seriously.

The CPAC audience, which spent most of the four-day convention attacking Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, ate it up, but they fell for this con three years ago when he started his campaign. These people have overdosed so much on the Kool-Aid that they’re going to need a twelve-step program to get off the stuff. For the rest of us, beware of flag huggers.

Nobel-Prize winning author Sinclair Lewis wrote It Can’t Happen Here, a semi-satirical political novel in 1935 about a demagogue being elected president of the United States. One reviewer of the novel describes the antagonist (if you’re a Republican, that’s the bad guy) as “less a Nazi than a con-man-plus-Rotarian, a manipulator who knows how to appeal to people’s desperation.” That description sounds like a non-fictional person we know.

Lewis is often credited with the quote, “When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross,” probably because it sounds like something he’d write. But, there’s no evidence he ever said or wrote it. No one really knows where it came from. But there is truth in the quote.

Donald Trump waves a Bible he never read and hugs a flag he’s never loved before an audience of people he’s afraid will give him germs. Trump is a phony and proof “it can happen here.” And he’s wrapped in a flag.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
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