Department Of Conspiracies


Russia helped Donald Trump win the presidency. They created troll farms and bombed social media with fake stories to promote Trump. They bought ads to help Trump. They hacked the servers of the Democratic National Committee and the Clinton Campaign. They contacted the Trump campaign. They sent representatives to Trump Tower to meet with Trump’s son, son-in-law and campaign manager. The son-in-law attempted to create a backchannel with Russia to avoid detection from American intelligence. At least sixteen people in the Trump campaign had contact with Russia. One Trump aide boasted to an Australian diplomat that Russia had dirt on Hillary Clinton. One of Trump’s foreign policy advisers, Carter Page, had boasted about being an informal adviser to the Kremlin. Carter Page traveled to Russia and met with government officials during the campaign and reported it back to the Trump team. While pursuing a warrant on Page, a federal judge concluded that Page was knowingly engaging in clandestine intelligence for the Russian government. The FBI acquired a FISA warrant to carry out electronic surveillance on Carter Page, a suspected Russia spy.

The Republican position on all of this is, how dare the FBI investigate a possible spy and threat to the United States. The GOP has expressed more concern for the rights of a suspected spy than for national security.

Since the election, the Trump administration hasn’t done anything to protect the U.S. from another attack by Russia. Donald Trump has spent the majority of his time denying Russia meddled in the election at all. Trump has accused the Clinton campaign of colluding with Russia because they hired a former MI6 agent to investigate Trump and interviewed Russians in the process. For some reason, that’s collusion while hosting Russians in your campaign HQ is not.

For the past two years, Trump has accused the FBI of attacking him and attempting a coup. He fired the director and other high ranking officials with long respectable track records in law enforcement. The Republican Party has engaged in smearing the FBI while being unable to actually pinpoint anything done illegally. All they’ve managed to do is prove that all warrants were acquired properly and within the law.

The only people who parrot Trump’s conspiracy talking points are Republican lickspittles, the idiots at Fox News, and shitweasels on social media. Now, add the Attorney General to that list.

Attorney General William Bar was quick to claim the Mueller Report cleared Trump, a position he put in writing in advertising himself for the job. He was also Attorney General during the George H.W. Bush administration and helped cover up Iran/Contra and recommended pardons for those involved. During last week’s testimony before Congress, he claimed there was definitely spying on the Trump campaign, parroting Donald’s talking points. Trump publicly had a joygasm.

My cartoon for CNN was a joke about checking the box on your tax returns if you wanted some of your refund to help pay for Trump’s lawyers fighting to hide his tax returns. In reality, with William Barr as the Attorney General, you are paying for Trump’s lawyer to protect him. Barr is just as ridiculous as Lindsey Graham, Devin Nunes, Jim Jordan, and all the other elected Republicans who have spent the past two years putting the cult of Trump before our nation. Barr may as well start investigating all of Trump’s stupid conspiracy theories like Obama’s birthplace, New Jersey Muslims celebrating 9/11, the Swedish terror attack, and whose voice is that really on the Access Hollywood tape? He couldn’t ruin his credibility any more than he already has.

Barr is engaging in a coverup, which is exactly what Trump wanted from his Attorney General. Part of that coverup is a deflection which is what this fake investigation is all about. The FBI did not spy on the Trump campaign. They spied on an individual with the Trump campaign. It’s not the FBI’s fault that Trump hires Russian spies. Neither the Democrats or the FBI selected these people. Trump chose them.

It’s reported that Trump asked within the White House, “Where’s my Roy Cohn?” a lawyer who helped Joseph McCarthy engage in investigating suspected communists and a mentor in sleaze to Donald Trump. Trump wanted a Roy Cohn in the Justice Department to sleaze up the place in protecting him.

Barr doesn’t have any evidence that supports his spying claim, yet he’ll mimic stupid talking points as part of his coverup to protect Donald Trump.

Someday, another criminal in elected office is going to ask, “Where’s my William Barr?”


Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Scenes From A Russian Restaurant


I suppose you can argue that one person with a connection to Russian spies is not indicative of the practices of a campaign. OK, two is a coincidence. Oh, look, there’s another coincidence…and another…and, oh c’mon!!!

What is it with Trump and Russia? He can’t criticize Putin at all. Even yesterday when he said our relations with Russia are at an “all-time low,” yet he couldn’t say anything negative about Putin. He’s bashing Bashar al-Assad all day long for using chemical weapons. He wonders if the Russians are complicit but yet…no harsh words for Putin.

Have you noticed that Trump changes his tune on people after he meets them? He’ll slander them for months. Wage a campaign against them. Then he meets them and talks about how awesome they are. From Obama to Xi Jinping, he hates them and then he loves them. He’s going to go full orgasmic after he meets Putin. Basically, the guy is an ass kisser. By the way, Trump met the NATO guy yesterday and now NATO is not “obsolete” anymore. Also, NATO will now start fighting terrorism, though they’ve been doing that since at least 2001…but Trump, you know. History didn’t begin until he was sworn in as president.

Steve Bannon loves Russia (which many in the Breitbart, alt-right spectrum view as the last bastion of full-fledged whiteness, and in their defense, White Russians are tasty). Bannon was against bombing Syria because it might upset the Russians.

Then you have the people who are actually hanging out with the Russians.

Former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort lobbied for Russian puppets in the Ukraine. Documents showed payments to Manafort from dirty Ukranians to exceed $12 million in cash which he claims he never received, yet evidence turned up of him moving more than $2 million to Washington lobbying firms. Manafort has NOW registered as a foreign lobbyist despite lobbying for Ukraine, Pakistan, Nigeria, Kenya, Equatorial Guinea, Dominican Republic, a Lebanese arms-dealer, and Ferdinand Marcos. Fortunately for him, no Somali pirates have turned up on the list yet.

Today Manafort is under investigation by the CIA, FBI, NSA, Director of National Intelligence, and the financial crimes unit of the Treasury Department. I’m pretty sure he’s wanted for questioning by the Girl Scouts for putting his Tagalongs money into a Cyprus bank, and still owes Blockbuster for rewinding fees.

Of course the Trump campaign says Manafort wasn’t that involved with the campaign despite him being the campaign manager for five months. Paul who?

Jared Kushner, Trump’s son-in-law, senior adviser, and currently leading the White House Office of American Innovation (a branch of the Department of Making America Great Again and NOT an offshoot of the Department of Humping The Boss’ Daughter as many have speculated), has also hung out with Russians. He conveniently forgot about Russian schmoozing when he filled out forms for the nation’s top security clearance (that lets him in on all the juicy secrets like Roswell, JFK, Colonel’s secret recipe, etc.). Jared met with the Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak, which is forgetful as everyone else seems to forget they met him, and the head of a Russian state-owned bank. Oops! I don’t forget going to an ATM so I’m pretty sure I’d recall a Russian bank.

We can’t forget Michael Flynn, the shortest-tenured national security adviser in our nation’s history. He’s another guy who forgot he met with the Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak. That Kislyak guy must be the most boring person on the planet. Like Manafort, Flynn has NOW registered as a foreign agent, despite working for Turkey before he joined the Trump campaign.

Jeff Sessions is now our attorney general. He met with the Russian ambassador, and guess what! He forgot all about it too. It’s Kislyak! It slipped his mind to the point that he failed to mention it during his confirmation hearings in the United States Senate. He actually volunteered that he never met with any Russians during the campaign (Do you like pizza? Yes, I do and I never met with any Russians). Yet, there he was hanging out with Russians. More specifically, that boring ambassador. What’s his name again? Oh yeah. Kislyak!!

This brings us to Carter Page. Trump dropped his name as an adviser and later said “Carter who?” Carter was targeted by Russian spies who are on tape as referring to him as an “idiot,” and then he volunteered to the press that he was that idiot. He forgot he met the Russian ambassador (KISLYAK!!!), and he’s now under investigation by the FBI, CIA, NSA, ODNI, and FinCEN. Basically every agency currently after Manafort. Investigate two Trumpsters and the third one is free. Now it’s been revealed that the FBI successfully obtained a FISA court warrant to monitor Page and his contacts with the Russians. A FISA is really hard to get and this one was renewed at least once. That’s not good for Carter.

Carter was interviewed by Chris Hayes of MSNBC and said that he can’t verify that he met with the Russian ambassador, but if he did it was in Cleveland and it was the only Russian person he hung out with in Cleveland…if it happened. Oh that guy’s going to do so well when he testifies in front of the senate.

The Russians were right about one thing. Carter Page is an idiot.

And in case you’re reading this and you work for the Trump campaign: The names Kislyak! KISLYAK!!! KISLYAK!!! KISLYAK!!! KISLYAK!!! What’s with you, fuckers?

Creative notes: Why are so many Trump people creepy looking? These guys don’t look like presidential advisers. They look like strangers offering kids free candy from a van with tinted-windows or maybe, shit weasels working at a “Holocaust Center”.

My buddy and fellow cartoonist, Sergey Kislyak…I mean, Ed (sorry, it’s stuck in my head now), told me yesterday that I shouldn’t have used any labels in my “lounge lizard” cartoon. He might be right, but I felt I should risk it here.

I really hate labels and I’m using them less and less. The one flaw of editorial cartoons are the labels. Some cartoonists are really lazy, sloppy, and excessive with them but it’s a minus for the entire genre. I debated not using any today but I’m not sure any of these guys have household faces yet.

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