Fireside Chat

Fireside Chat


I find it amusing that after the impeachment inquiry vote, Republicans accused Democrats of being partisan…after every. single. Republican. voted against it. That just went right over their heads. Republican Steve Scalise said it was a “Soviet-style” investigation, never mind that these “Soviet-style” rules were written by Republicans.

Despite all Republicans checking their consciences at the door and finding nothing wrong with a president asking a foreign government to go after a political opponent and help his reelection, Donald Trump is still freaking out. He continues to say the phone call, which he sometimes refers to as a “letter,” was “perfect.” It wasn’t even perfect corruption because they didn’t hide it well enough.

Trump has told us that we have the complete “transcript,” despite the disclaimer at the top of the “transcript” explaining it’s not complete, or even a transcript. It’s a summary.

Now, Donald Trump is thinking about taking a page from a previous president and selling the “transcript” to the public himself. He’s considering reading it aloud in a “fireside chat.” OK. I’m curious.

The first thing I’m curious about is Trump reading aloud. I’ve heard him read aloud before. It’s cringeworthy. It’s like in elementary school when the entire class took turns reading a story aloud, and they each got different pages or paragraphs. And if you were one of the kids who read well and was impatient, it was aggravating listening to someone read something you had already read and could have read 20 more times during the length of time it took your classmate to read it once. Donald Trump is not the impatient kid.

That’s the second thing I’m curious about. Will Trump read the entire transcript and not just the ten-page summary? Even if he only tackles the ten pages, can America sit through Trump mangling it with his poor reading ability?

Trump is copying Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who delivered the chats on radio between 1933 and 1944. He used radio to kill rumors, explain policies, and comfort and reassure America during times of the Great Depression and World War II. There are differences here. Roosevelt was loved by the nation. Trump can’t go to a baseball game without people chanting “lock him up.” Roosevelt could read and he wrote very well. He was a great orator and his speeches are still quoted. Donald Trump is barely literate. Roosevelt was also comforting. Donald Trump is a screaming race-baiter. Basically, Roosevelt was a leader America wanted four times. Donald Trump is America’s asshole.

Roosevelt didn’t use the fireside chats to defend corruption. He also didn’t use them to only talk about himself. Donald Trump doesn’t want to conduct a fireside chat to talk to America about America. Donald Trump wants to talk to America about Donald Trump. Trump’s only agenda as president has been Donald Trump.

I think Trump is better off sticking to his hate rallies where he flails around without a script. Nobody there expects him to read or be comforting, and they eat up everything he says.

I would totally expect Donald Trump to conduct a fireside chat with a flamethrower.

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