Trump’s grand initiative to invest in America’s infrastructure begins with his desire to privatize the Federal Aviation Administration. What does that mean for me and you? For starters, it means that now you’ll spend the entire flight with your head between your knees which is reasonable since Trump plans to spend his entire term with his head up his ass.
Don’t worry too much about it because Trump is a great businessman and dealmaker. He’s told us that himself. I’m sure it’ll soar as well as Trump casinos (crapped out), or Trump Water (Tijuana water was safer), Trump Steaks (sold through Sharper Image. For some reason wildly expensive meat wouldn’t sell through a novelty electronic chain), Trump University (not an actual university that sold worthless degrees for $35,000), Trump Vodka/Trump Wine (from a man who doesn’t drink. Personally, if you want to sell me liquor then you better be a raging alcoholic), Trump Mortgage (which he started right before the housing market burst), Trump The Game (a contest of strategy and fuckery with Trump’s face on it), the New Jersey Generals (a football team that made red-blooded Americans hate football), Tour de Trump (a ripoff of the Tour de France which should have been called the “Tour duh Trump”), Trump On The Ocean (a huge restaurant Trump put in the path of Hurricane Sandy), The Trump Network (a vitamin supplement you insert up your ass. A vitamin pyramid scheme is still available called “Plexus”), Trumped! (a radio show for a market where there’s already too many right-wing assholes), Trump New Media (an internet providing service but the yutz couldn’t compete with Yahoo), Trump Magazine (not even yacht-owning douchebags wanted to buy something with Eric Trump on the cover), GoTrump.com (a travel search engine that showed you the quickest routes to take it up the ass).
Then there was Trump Airlines. What happened with that venture? Like most Trump businesses it went into a tail dive and all that was left in the flaming wreckage were defaulted loans and a bunch of pissed-off creditors. Captain Sully couldn’t have landed that disaster. And now Trump wants to take his experience as an airline owner and restructure how American air travel works. We’re not going to need a Muslim ban because ain’t nobody gonna wanna fly here.
To enact this grand plan Trump held another signing. No, it wasn’t an executive order. It was a memo. Yes, a memo. Like his executive order signings, Trump surrounded himself with boot-licking sycophants who applauded obediently. Trump then handed out the pens he used to sign the memo, which is about as meaningful and significant as handing out toilet paper from his last bowel movement. But you know, Trump sycophants would line up for that.
Quite frankly, I think Otto would make a better president. There’s not as much hot air in his head.
Creative Notes: Most cartoonists go through several ideas before they stumble stupidly upon the one that’s going to work for them. With my first stupid idea, I needed to consult an expert in air traffic control. Fortunately for me, I know one. My ex-wife’s husband.
Kenny is an air traffic controller so he knows a lot about the subject and he gave me some great information for the cartoon idea I didn’t use. As it turns out, that idea was kinda stupid and the info Kenny provided made it clear that it didn’t work at all. Not even a little.
I really liked this idea after it came to me. Longtime readers of this blog know I love Blazing Saddles, The Jerk, and Airplane and will use them in cartoons. I’ve used each of those in some context fairly recently. I gotta find a way to work in Young Frankenstein.
I also enjoyed not putting any dialogue into this cartoon. Other than the label (which I had to do twice), I didn’t have to waste any time on lettering which was a relief after all the busy words in my last cartoon.
Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!
Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.