Employment

Ivanka Beans


cjones07192020

I love seeing posts on social media from white conservatives swearing they’ll replace Goya’s Hispanic and Latino customers which leads them to ask, “Where can I find it?”.  White people, it’s on that aisle you never go down and in case you’re a Republican, “INTL” means “international.”

See, they’ve never bought it before and when they do find it, it’ll sit at the back of their cupboards until the end of time or until they take it to their white church’s food drive where it’ll end up at the back of some other white conservative’s cabinet. Let’s face facts: Even if you can eat it, you’re not going to know what to do with it. You’re going to be like Ivanka Trump. She has a job in the White House and she doesn’t know what to do with it.

Ivanka is pretty and has presented herself as the reasonable Trump. Some bought that ridiculous bullshit for a while but the ruse is over. She’s just as stupid and vile as the rest of them.

She’s stupid, along with her brothers, as they didn’t know how to vote. Seriously. They went to vote for their daddy in the New York Republican primary in 2016 and found out they couldn’t because they were registered in the Democratic Party. Think about it. Why should someone have a government job when they can’t even figure out how to vote? If you really believed in a candidate, wouldn’t you make sure you knew how to support him…especially if that candidate was your jackass father?

She’s vile too. She promised to be the advocate for women issues in the White House, yet she’s remained silent on the over two dozen allegations of her father sexually assaulting women. She came out against Alabama Republican Senate Candidate, renowned pedophile, and mall foodcourt aficionado until her daddy defended him. Then, once again, she was silent. While children were being ripped apart from their parents at the border with 1,500 being unaccounted for, she tweeted a sweet and loving glamour photo of her and her son with a big heart emoji.

She doesn’t miss a beat when traveling with her father on international trips. She made sure her face was seen in a window at Buckingham Palace, another historic building she doesn’t belong in, and also took advantage of her position to step into North Korea, a place where she can belong, just to be able to say she did it.

At international conferences, she joins conversations on serious matters with world leaders and pretends she knows the subjects. Her father has had her sit in on cabinet meetings. You could put one of those bubonic squirrels the press alerted us to yesterday at one of these meetings and it couldn’t get more nutty.

Ivanka’s qualifications for being an adviser to the president (sic) is that she’s the president’s daughter. Unless there’s a serious international incident with handbags, I don’t see where her expertise will ever be necessary. The same goes for her dipshit stupid jackoff husband, Jared. He’s been placed in policy ranging from immigration to peace in the Middle East to a response to the coronavirus where he told us the federal stockpile of PPE was “our stockpile” and not for the states. Can we have the squirrel?

Jared has been a worm in his position in that he’s been conducting secret talks with foreign powers outside of the State Department and undermining the Secretary of State. His family’s company has also been given bailouts by foreign governments, just like Ivanka’s products continue to be granted patents in China. Between the election and inauguration, dumbass Jared went to the Russian embassy and proposed they create a backchannel to communicate so U.S. intelligence couldn’t listen in. Why would he want that? And even that discussion was caught by our intelligence. He’s using WhatsApp to talk to the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia.

Jared and Ivanka do not belong in the White House. To help unknowingly make that case, Ivanka is in charge of a new jobs program called “Try Something New.” A new ad debuted yesterday of people who couldn’t get jobs in their old careers, so they just got new ones. Who knew all you had to after losing your job was find something else to do? I’m sure half of the nation’s population without a job because of her dad’s lousy response to the coronavirus will appreciate that information. By the way, did you know you can quit drugs by just saying “no?”

While we were trying to absorb a “jobs program” from a person who has never had to apply or interview for a job in her entire fucking life, telling us to “try something new,” she released another glamour shot. This one of her holding a can of Goya black beans in the style of game show hostess. There was no “My heart” with this one but her love of black beans seems about as genuine as the pic of her with her son.

This photo, which will just endear itself to the Hispanic and Latino community to change their minds about boycotting the products after its president praised Donald Trump’s “leadership,” is a violation of the Hatch Act.

Government employees can’t promote products though I’m sure nothing will come of it because nothing did when Kellyanne Conway went on TV and hawked products for Ivanka…or that time a Trump property was promoted at WhiteHouse.org. In fact, the non-partisan Citizens for Ethics and Accountability in Washington found 3,241 conflicts of interest from the Trump administration. Basically, it’s all self-dealing.

And now, Ivanka has used her position to pimp Goya. If you’re the president of Goya, or own stock in it, you’re probably going to want the Trumps to stop promoting your product, which Donald Trump has also done on Twitter. You don’t want the people responsible for jails for brown babies promoting your product aimed at brown people. That would be like putting John Wayne Gacy on a box of cereal. Who’s crazy for Coco Puffs?

I don’t think people are going to line up and start eating black beans because Ivanka posed with a can of them. A can of black beans I’m certain weren’t already in her cabinet before the boycott, and that someone had to purchase for her. But hey, maybe she’ll actually open the can and give them a try.

Can openers come with instructions, right?

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Thanks, Obama


cjones05082019

Have you talked to a Trump sycophant? Have you ever talked to one who hasn’t said, “But Obama?” No, you haven’t. According to the cultists, Obama was a failed president who left a disaster for Donald Trump to clean up. Yet, despite all of Obama’s failures, the biggest accomplishments they hand to Trump actually belong to Obama. I mean, Obama couldn’t have been that bad if you gotta steal his credit for Trump.

One of my conservative colleagues spent eight years calling Obama the most “divisive president in American history” and accusing his administration of not being transparent. This same guy has never mentioned Trump’s constant Twitter attacks on the most mundane and petty stuff, or his inciting violence from his followers. He’s never mentioned Trump’s lack of transparency when it comes to his taxes, refusing to testify to Robert Mueller, and now preventing members of his administration from testifying. So, it shouldn’t be a surprise that this guy spent the majority of the Obama era saying his economy was the “worst economic recovery ever,” while calling today’s economy an “economic miracle.” The real miracle is that these people’s faces don’t warp like Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ from constantly fighting to keep them straight.

Trump sycophants only seem to remember “if you like your doctor,” Fast and Furious, and the IRS scandal from the Obama administration. They don’t recall that we were in one of the worst recessions in American history when Obama entered the White House in 2009. The nation lost 3.6 million jobs during Bush’s last year in office and over five million in Obama’s first. During his second year, Obama added over a million jobs and for his remaining six, he added over two million each year.

Two million jobs added per year for six years straight is a trend. Trump has also added two million each of his two years, though slightly less than Obama. That’s eight years of constant growth. But, the cultists want to give all the credit to the guy who inherited a trend. They’re ignoring the six and praising the two. Republicans are literally giving credit to an old rich white guy for the job done by a black man.

Trump promised 25 million new jobs over ten years if he was elected. That’s actually an easy number to reach if the trend started under Obama continues. The economy was already adding jobs when Trump made that promise, so basically, he promised to inherit and take credit for Obama’s success.

We are still in a booming economy because of Obama. The economy is so strong that even Donald Trump, who doesn’t understand anything, hasn’t messed it up yet.

Donald Trump doesn’t understand tariffs are taxes. He believes that money from increased tariffs paid for by Americans and funding his racist border wall is somehow Mexico paying for the wall.

He started a trade war with China that hurt America’s farmers. He gave the farmers nearly $8 billion in a bailout to help them during his trade war with China, which is money borrowed from…wait for it…China. Trump is borrowing money from China to pay farmers to not sell their crops to China.

He promised more coal mines would open. Instead, more are closing.

Gas prices are rising.

He gave permanent tax cuts to the rich and itty, bitty temporary tax cuts to the middle class that has increased the deficit to over $900 billion.

Have you noticed Republicans, who are always warning us about Democratic spending, are always the ones who do the most spending? Have you noticed that Republicans screw the economy while Democrats repair it?  Public debt went down under Clinton, Carter, Johnson, Kennedy, and Truman, while it went up under our last four Republican presidents, George W. Bush, George H.W. Bush, Reagan, and Ford. Our current Republican president is on track to continue that tradition. Debt is something Republicans only warn us about when a Democrat is in the White House.

Debt did decrease under Eisenhower and Nixon. Trump is no Ike, firstly because the majority of the country doesn’t like Trump. He’s only like Nixon when it comes to lies and corruption. Nixon, however, understood stuff like economics and government spending. Trump believes Canadian cheese is a threat to national security.

I want to see Trump defeated in 2020 but I also want the economy to continue the trend Obama started. Trump should not be given credit for inheriting a booming economy. But, if Trump continues his policies, the only credit he’ll receive during the next election will be for a faltering, maybe crashing economy. There is only so much in the area of stupid actions this economy can take. This is a man who fired the Chairman of the Federal Reserve because he thought she was too short.

Obama was criticized for saying, “You didn’t build that.” In the case of Trump and the economy, the GDP, and jobs, he’s right. Trump didn’t build that. This is still Obama’s economy. He cleaned up after a Republican and in the future, another Democrat will be cleaning up after Trump, and Republicans will be saying, “Worst economic recovery ever.”

Obama left us in great shape to deal with an impending disaster like Trump. And for that, thanks, Obama.

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