Email Scandal

Hillary’s Weiner


I wasn’t going to draw a cartoon tonight. I’m three days ahead with my cartoons to my clients. If you only view my cartoons at GoComics, who runs everything I do because I upload it myself, you’re a few days behind (you should subscribe to GoComics at only $2.00 a month, subscribe to me, and I’ll get a portion of that. Support your favorite cartoonist…and then support me too). I was gonna take the night off. I was going to eat some pork chops and watch my Cubs win game 3 of the World Series. Only one part of my plan happened. The Cubs did not win, I did not take the night off, and I did eat some pork chops.

My plans to be leisurely failed because the FBI decided to announce they were reopening the email case against Hillary Clinton. It’s a good thing I don’t go anywhere without my drawing stuff.

I’m mad. I’m angry about this. Not because of the unfairness toward Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party. I’m angry because this is political. Eleven days before an election and you want to pop up with this crap?

Let’s take a look at what we know. The FBI’s investigation into Hillary’s use of a private server is over her handling of classified information. This new stuff concerns Anthony Weiner, the mad sexter. Weiner is married to Clinton’s top aide, Huma Abedin. They are now estranged over Weiner’s last sexting scandal.

The FBI was investigating Weiner’s computer since he was accused of some nasty stuff with a 15-year-old. They found something on the computer which was also used by Huma.

What we know is that the emails were NOT on Clinton’s server. They were NOT sent by Clinton. They were NOT on Clinton’s computer. So how in the hell is this about Clinton’s handling of classified information? It’s not.

I’m going to make a bold statement and tell you that this isn’t going anywhere. Huma might be in trouble but I don’t see how this implicates Clinton with mishandling classified information.

I’m mad because we have Russians trying to tamper with our election. We don’t need the FBI to start twerking with the process.

Here’s another reason I don’t think there’s anything to this reopened investigation: Hillary Clinton wants to talk about it. She never wants to talk about her emails. She’s clamoring for the FBI to release everything they know. Hillary Clinton never wants that.

This is an October surprise and it’s a huge fail. Trump claims it’s as big as Watergate which means he didn’t even see the movie, less enough follow the investigation or study history. How can you say something is “bigger than Watergate” when you don’t know what’s in it? How can Republicans be so gleeful over the FBI director basically saying they need to see if the new emails are significant?

Trump is also angry that Hillary is critical of the FBI over this handling. Like Trump has only had nice things to say about the FBI before Friday.

I don’t expect most of my clients to run this cartoon, but that’s OK because I give them more than I promise. My internet-only publications will love it. I’m taking tomorrow off. You have enough cartoons from me. Let me sleep. I’m probably taking tomorrow off.

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Breaking Blackberrys With Brady


I didn’t really have much of an issue with the FBI’s report from their interview with Hillary Clinton other than her breaking Blackberrys. Is it “Blackberrys” or “Blackberries” when it’s plural for the product? Much like with the FBI report I’m not going to lose sleep over it.

A lot of people are making a big deal that Hillary responded with “I can’t remember” 40 times. Most of those were to answers over specific emails she received years ago. I can’t remember emails I received earlier today.

A lot of times I’ll open an email and see it’s really long and I kinda scan it, close it, and move on with my life. A day later I think I should probably respond because it’s a fan and it’s not like I have a lot of those and then I scroll through my inbox trying to find it. It’s brutal. If you’re one of those who sends me those, sorry. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m gonna get a few emails about this paragraph. I’ll at least get one about that whole Blackberry plural thing. I do appreciate that anyone wants to spend time writing me. I just suck. I don’t even like answering my phone.

If you ask me any details about the content of an email I probably won’t remember unless it was about payment or a cartoon reprint. I do that with actual verbal conversations in the real world too. Ask my friend.

The report mentioned that Hillary had staffers destroy her Blackberry with a hammer. Apparently it’s not uncommon to see someone outside the state department destroying a communication device. I’m not clear on how many phones were destroyed. I have an old Nokia stuck someplace in storage from 2003 and it has company from every cell phone I’ve owned between then and today.  There’s stuff on those devices I don’t want anyone to see. Mostly drunk texts. But it never occurred to me that I should destroy them. Probably not a bad idea.

It occurred to Tom Brady. During inflategate he had a ball boy or some locker room minion destroy his cell phone with texts regarding his balls. Brett Favre once had the same issue but that was over a different type of balls.

I thought it might be a fun time to pick on Tom Brady again since the NFL’s regular season starts Thursday and Tom is suspended from playing the first four games. He’s like the Dallas Cowboys all by himself because no one is ambivalent about the guy. They either hate him with a passion or they want to have his babies.

My last few cartoons were kinda heavy and dealt with race issues so today I wanted to take it a little easier. I don’t want my clients destroying the devices they use to receive my cartoons.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Hacking Hillary


Right now Hillary Clinton might prefer talking about Bill Clinton’s philandering than her email server.

A State Department watchdog issued a report that Hillary Clinton violated rules over her use of a private server. We all knew that. What we did not know was the extent of it.

Clinton claims she had approval to use her personal server which was stored in her New York home’s basement. She didn’t. She claims she’s happy to talk to anyone at anytime about the issue, yet she declined to talk to the Inspector General during their investigation. Several of her aides also declined, with one not even responding to the request.

John Bentel, director of the Office of Information Resources Management, declined to be interviewed during the investigation. When a staffer raised concerns that Hillary’s email violated rules, he told the staffer never to speak of it again. It’s like Fight Club over at the State Department.

It’s so much like Fight Club, that only a few people were even aware Clinton was using a private server. She refused to use a  State email and even refused to release her email address to the State Department. The senior officials outside of her privileged circle who became aware of her private email, only became aware because her emails to them originated from a rotating cluster of private addresses. That sounds more like the habit of a drug dealer buying a new cell phone and number at Walmart every week.

Clinton claims her server was safe from hackers, but it turns out there were several attempts to break into her email. Clinton didn’t report these attempts to the State Department and apparently took them about as seriously as those emails from that Nigerian Prince (Nigeria is not a monarchy, by the way).

It is extremely difficult for a presidential candidate to fight the perception of being dishonest by being dishonest. It also gives Donald Trump more leeway to use the nickname “Crooked Hillary” even though he doesn’t really understand the issue.

Now with all this bad stuff, what does this mean for Clinton? It means she violated a rule and that’s really it legally. This isn’t a criminal offense. It’s a stupid offense. You can use this to determine whether you should vote for her or not. I would rather live with Clinton’s dishonesty than Trump’s. At least Clinton knows what she’s lying about.

Yes, the State Department’s email system is extremely convoluted and inept. Yes, other Secretaries had personal emails, but the rules change every few years. Blackberries weren’t in widespread use during Colin Powell’s tenure (did they even exist at the time?) and Condoleeza Rice claims she never used email, which I find amazing (I have only one friend who’s not on any social media and even he emails though it’s a real pain explaining twitter, hashtags and trending to him. I’m not even gonna attempt to explain “poking”).

Most of the people who will use this EmailGate brouhaha are like Donald Trump, and they don’t really understand it. It is complex and conservatives don’t do well with intricacies. While there isn’t any criminal level transgression here, the larger issue is Clinton’s candor.

I don’t really care about her emails or server. I do care about the honesty. I believe she’s evasive with answers because she doesn’t believe she should be bothered with the questions. Trump lies because he’s pathological and actually believes his lies and that he’s still in the business of selling steaks, even while he’s replacing the food mart labels with Trump labels. Trump is likely to tell us he’s 20 feet tall, and believe that he’s 20 feet tall, and that we should all go fact check it. When you ask him about it tomorrow he’ll talk about Monica Lewinsky or refer to Elizabeth Warren as Pocahontas.

Hillary Clinton will be president. There will be more dishonesty. There will be scandals, which will be a huge change after the scandal free Obama administration (yes, you wingnuts. Scandal free). Bill Clinton will break something. But a Hillary Clinton presidency will not destroy the nation like a Donald Trump presidency will. I would vote for Mitt Romney and that agenda of everything I’m against before I could poison my nation with the buffoonery of Donald Trump.

Your issues in this presidential election may be Emails, Benghazi, Bill Clinton’s greatest sexcapades of the 1990’s. The biggest and most dangerous issue is Donald Trump. You should email this blog and cartoon to one of his supporters.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!