Elvis Presley

Rock Star


I’ve mentioned this before. I don’t hate Donald Trump. I don’t like the guy but I don’t hate him. I hate President Donald Trump.

At some point, in the better interest of their nation, Trump’s supporters in Congress, his party, the Trump cult, and even within his own family need to stop pretending that this guy is anything better than a vile, disgusting, racist, sexist, stupid grifter who doesn’t have any business being in the Oval Office, flying in Air Force One, representing our nation, and having access to the codes of our nuclear weapons (I wouldn’t want someone like Trump in charge of selecting a cable provider). Half the nation understands we’re better than this. The other half doesn’t.

The people Trump hires are assigned to work for Donald Trump, not the president. It’s their job to represent the Trump organization rather than the office of the presidency. The Trump brand is a higher priority than say, national security, the economy, or even comforting victims of a national tragedy.

People who work for Trump sacrifice their professional reputations working for a whiny, narcissistic grifter. Sean Spicer, Kellyanne Conway, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, or Omarosa will never be taken seriously again. But in their defense, they’re poor examples because they weren’t taken seriously before working for Trump. Trump hires walking jokes.

Sean Spicer’s very first press briefing was on fictional crowd sizes. Kellyanne has promoted Trump products in her official capacity of whatever it is she’s supposed to be doing. Huckasans spent her entire tenure as press secretary lying and screaming at the media. This is why nobody wants them in their restaurants.

Shortly after Trump’s visits to Dayton and El Paso to meet with the victims of two mass shootings who didn’t refuse to see him, The White House put out a propaganda video of Trump grinning and giving the thumbs-up sign with people fawning over him. These were basically no different than when he crashes weddings at his shitty golf clubs. The victims and wedding guests would be better served by hiring a drunk clown to make balloon animals. Not much of a difference except Trump can’t make balloon animals.

The new White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham, who will never be taken seriously again, told the press their access was restricted during the visits because it was “about the victims and their families and thanking medical staff. It wasn’t about a photo-op for the president and the first lady.” That makes sense. But if it’s not about a “photo-op” for the president then why did they create a campaign ad out of it? It’s no wonder none of the El Paso victims who were still in the hospital agreed to meet with Trump. If I was lying in a hospital bed after being shot up, I wouldn’t want to be propagandized either. Also, I wouldn’t want to meet Trump because I’d be sick enough already.

The victims also refused to meet with Texas senator Ted Cruz, but you don’t have to be shot to not want to meet with Ted Cruz.

Even without the video, Trump had tweeted multiple photos of the same scenes of him grinning, thumbs up, people fawning, etc. This was a photo-op though none of the photos had Ted Cruz in them because…ew.

Dan Scavino, the White House director of Social Media and Assistant to the president, tweeted out that Trump was greeted like a “rock star.”

Trump whined throughout his trip about the way he was treated while also boasting about the way he was treated. While the White House sent out official statements about how successful the trip was, anonymous sources from within the White House told Maggie Haberman of The New York Times that the trip was a “debacle.” According to Haberman, “They wanted him to go in and behave differently. The goal was for him to go in and get out while making as little news as possible.” They have met Trump before, right?

Dayton mayor Nan Whaley told reporters afterward that she wished Trump had focused more on the victims of gun violence. Instead, Trump made it about himself.

We have to stop pretending this is normal. This business of a 72-year-old baby masquerading as a president is not normal. This is one of the many reasons why he’s not my president. Trump supporters, this isn’t normal.

And it’s not going to be normal until long after the narcissist has left the building.

Creative note: I just found out it’s Elvis Week. I didn’t plan this.

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The Seduction Of Ted Cruz


I don’t know what’s less believable. Five women slept with Ted Cruz or that you can find five women who would admit it.

Yeah, I know. I already drew a cartoon this week on the icky bed lovin’ of Ted Cruz but that was before the National Enquirer came out with their story that Teddy Bear has been getting a whole bunch of action on the side. Did you just raise one eyebrow in disbelief or did you get all gleeful at the prospect of dirt on Ted Cruz?

I could join in on that glee business at the expense of Cruz’s political career. It would be awesome. But two things: I don’t care about his sex life and I’m much more concerned about the disaster he wants to inflict upon this nation. Four years of a Cruz administration would force the entire nation to do a walk of shame. I’m just not really interested in living in a theocracy led by Ted Cruz, whose wife and father believe is a divine messenger from God. Yeeks! That is a bigger concern than where he’s been putting Little Ted.

The second thing is, I don’t believe the Enquirer story. You’ll bring up the argument that the National Enquirer has been proven right on John Edwards, Gary Hart, Tiger Woods and a few others. OK so they’ve been right maybe three or four times…throughout their entire history.

The National Enquirer has a silent policy of no criticism of Donald Trump. They have also endorsed Trump which seems fair since their publication is probably his only news source, and odd that the National Enquirer is endorsing. That might be a reason not to vote for someone. The guy who provided this salacious information on Cruz has a history of playing dirty political tricks and he’s a good friend of The Donald, something Ted doesn’t have, friends.

The only thing that actually makes it somewhat believable is Ted Cruz’s denial. He came out strong, angry and blamed Trump. He even gave Trump a nickname, “Sleazy Donald,” which is fair since Trump keeps calling him “Lyin’ Ted.” I think these two should meet at the bike racks after school and fight it out. Trump blamed Cruz for the super pac ad of his wife, so I guess they’re even there. Trump attacks Heidi Cruz. Super pac attacks Melania Trump. Poor attention starved John Kasich is probably wondering why nobody ever calls his wife a “ho.”

None of the alleged paramours are named. Their photos are pixilated which has everyone guessing. Names are being tossed around. Normal journalism ethics are tossed out in the tabloid’s reporting, which is standard to the National Enquirer.

Sure I could be wrong on this but I’m not going to convict on such shoddy evidence.

How long until Trump brags that his mistresses are better looking than Cruz’s booty calls?

If other cartoonists read my blog they’d probably get six or seven cartoon ideas from each post.

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