Elon Musk

Elon’s Dumpster


When Elon Musk talks about free speech, I wonder if he understands what that is. Coordinating and strategizing with Nazis and making death threats is not free speech. You also don’t have the freedom to accuse someone of being a pedophile just because they disagree with you. Also, losing a social media account doesn’t mean you lost your freedom of speech because Twitter isn’t the only place humans are allowed to express themselves. Twitter is not a government platform.

But, I think Elon understands perfectly well that spreading conspiracy theories and instigating a white nationalist terrorist attack to install a fascist dictator who lost an election isn’t free speech. I believe he knows he’s full of shit. What makes me believe that was his post about the Democratic Party becoming more extreme thus making Elon side more with Republicans, who are making it harder for black Americans to vote while boycotting a cartoon mouse. Nazis and MAGAts held two separate protests simultaneously against Disney last week in Florida, yet you couldn’t tell the two groups apart. But sure, Elon. It’s the Democrats who’ve gone extreme.

Now Elon is saying that as soon he gets his grubby short-fingered hands on Twitter, he’s going to allow Donald Trump to return. This is a threat to democracy.

Elon told an interviewer at an automobile conference that it was a mistake for Twitter to ban Trump after he tried to destroy democracy. The irony here is that Trump’s supporters believe removing Trump was an anti-democratic move for his attempt to destroy democracy.

Elon said, “I do think that it was not correct to ban Donald Trump. I think that was a mistake because it alienated a large part of the country and did not ultimately result in Donald Trump not having a voice.” No, you egghead. He has a voice. Nobody took his voice away. Does Donald Trump let everyone at his rally have a turn at the microphone? If not, does that mean he’s not allowing everyone a voice? We are not entitled to use every platform.

If National Public Radio refuses my demands for airtime to give a two-hour diatribe against ketchup on hotdogs, they’re not taking away my freedom of speech. Elon’s logic says Donald Trump has taken away my right to swim if he doesn’t allow me to use the pool at Mar-a-Lago.

Elon expanded on his thoughts on Trump, saying, “He is now going to be on Truth Social, as will a large part of the right, in the United States, and so I think this could end up being, frankly, worse than having a single forum where everyone could debate. I guess the answer is that I would reverse the permanent ban.” Donald Trump has only made one post on Truth Social so far. Banning or reversing a ban on someone doesn’t prevent there from being more than one social media forum. Also, it’s not a bad thing if a large portion of the right-wing avoids Twitter. Who throws a party and gets sad that Nazis don’t show up? Who wants to bob for apples with Goebbels?

Free speech is a constitutional right. Speaking on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, TikTok, Instagram, MySpace, YouTube, etc, is a privilege. You can burn a privilege. Donald Trump burned a privilege by using Twitter in an attempt to destroy our democracy and have himself installed as an unelected dictator. It’s amazing we have people fighting to restore the account he used to try to destroy the government. It’s like giving a rapist Viagra.

Donald Trump claims he won’t return to Twitter if the ban is reversed, choosing instead to promote Truth Social, which he’s not using. But Trump is lying. Trump boycotting Twitter would be like Trump boycotting KFC. It’s not gonna happen. He’ll be back.

And when Trump comes back and is just one of the many changes Elon enacts to destroy the platform, millions will leave. I’m going to stay. Hell, It’s taken me over a decade to get over 12,000 followers. I’m not throwing that away. Also, someone needs to stick around and continue to fight the lies. The only way Elon is going to remove my voice from Twitter will be to ban me. As I understand it, he’s really big about blocking people so maybe removing his critics is next.

I would take it as a badge of honor if I was banned for telling the truth, like posting something about Elon having hair plugs. What? I have freedom of speech. If Donald Trump can claim he won an election he lost and retweet Nazis, I can call out Elon’s hair plugs.

Music note: It was Nirvana while coloring.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

The Elon Effect


I’m in Washington, D.C. for two cartoon events, one of which was last night. At that function, a reader of my blog told me he loved it but he rarely ever finishes reading it because they’re always too long. I agree, so today’s blog is going to be short.

I talked to my good friend Karen yesterday for just a minute. I’ve mentioned her here before so that must mean I talk to her a lot. Somebody has to talk to me. Anyways, Karen messaged to let me know Elon Musk had just successfully purchased Twitter. Even though I was traveling, I already knew because I have notifications enabled from The New York Times, The Washington Post, and CNN. I don’t miss much. But Karen told me this won’t affect her as she’s not on Twitter. I told her it would.

I heard that comment from a lot of people. First off, don’t sneer, poo-poo, or look down on Twitter if you’re on another social media platform. It’s like saying you’re too good for Papa John’s while eating Domino’s.

Karen is a smart person and quickly understood what I meant and changed her mind to agree with me. More people should do that, but no. Ya’ll continue to eat Domino’s Pizza and put ketchup on your hotdogs. You should know that I must love Karen a lot considering she’s one of those ketchup on hotdogs people. I once caught her eating a hotdog with ketchup on the Fourth of July, America’s birthday! But I digress.

As you know, Twitter is a huge platform, even if you’re too snotty to be on it. Since there’s so much consumption of information on Twitter, it can be extremely beneficial or dangerous. It’s both really. Now, it’s being taken over by a man who’s spent the past few years arguing that Twitter is suppressing free speech without understanding what free speech is. Elon Musk has argued for Donald Trump to have his Twitter account restored despite the thousands of lies he told on the platform, his retweets of Nazis, his racist and sexist attacks, and oh yeah, that time he used Twitter to organize a white nationalist goon terrorist attack to overturn a democratic election he lost to install him as an Oompa-Loompa fascist potentate.

So when the world burns down and we have a president installed by a Russian president and the Constitution’s trashed while every federal court is presided over by judges like the goon judge in Florida that overturned the travel face mask mandates, you will be affected whether you’re on Twitter or not. Yes, Twitter is that big. If it wasn’t for Twitter, Donald Trump may not have become president (sic) the first time.

Elon Musk has bought Twitter just in time to help the Republican Party retake Congress with the lying gaslighting campaigns. Elon has bought Twitter just in time to restore Donald Trump to the White House. By the way, Donald Trump has NOT stopped lying or trying to organize haters to do evil shit since he was booted from Twitter. He has not proven he should be let back in.

Letting Donald Trump back on Twitter is like kicking someone out of your party for crapping in the punch bowl, then spotting them doing the same thing to your mailbox and deciding he’s learned his lesson and should be allowed back in. Don’t let the punchbowl shitter back in the house.

If preventing these upcoming disasters was as simple as deleting my Twitter account, I would have done so in 2015.

Creative note: Seriously, this blog is short today because I’m tired. I didn’t get much sleep the night before last, and last night involved beer and camaraderie. I drew this cartoon at Soho Coffee near DuPont Circle, and it’s a great place. But, some British lady behind me talked on her phone throughout the entire time I was drawing this. It was the most mundane conversation I’ve ever heard with a sexy accent. Also, I need to eat something and get ready for tonight when my friend Lalo Alcaraz will be presented with the Herblock Award.

Music Note: I listened to the coffee shop music and the British lady behind me while drawing today’s cartoon. Her cat coughs up a lot of hairballs and she’s going to have her tire pressure inspected later today.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Space Twit


Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

I already wrote one blog this week on Elon and Twitter, so click the link above and read my editor’s column.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Free Speech Absolutist


To believe Elon Musk cares about free speech would be like believing Donald Trump cares about anyone other than himself. It would be like believing Republicans are patriots, fiscal, pro-life, freedom-lovers, or care about family values.

After Twitter banned Donald Trump for inciting a white nationalist terrorist attack to overturn a democratic election and to install himself as an unelected Cheeto potentate, Elon tweeted to his 80 million followers that U.S. tech companies shouldn’t be acting “as the de facto arbiter of free speech.” He believes he should be the de facto arbiter of free speech.

It’s very dangerous that the richest man in the world doesn’t understand free speech. Sure, we had a president (sic) who didn’t under that either, in addition to not understanding most things, but Elon’s in a position to do more damage than Donald Trump. If nothing else, Elon can enable Donald Trump’s attempts to destroy our democracy. Elon understands free speech about as well as your average Trump rally attendee does.

The reason it’s dangerous the richest man in the world doesn’t understand what defines freedom of speech is that he has the resources to turn the world’s largest social media platform into a 4chan on crack. While Donald Trump is stingy and cheap with his own money (he prefers to spend what he grifts from others), Elon will throw out a few billion to make you look at him. Do you think he was serious when he endorsed Kanye for president? Was he serious with his tweets hating on pronouns? Was he serious when he named one of his kids “X”?

Twitter isn’t just for cat pictures or for sharing with the world what you had for lunch today. It has become the defacto source for everything. Politicians release official statements through Twitter. News outlets quote tweets. Celebrities are are using Instragram more and more for their press releases, but the serious people are using Twitter. Of course, there are lunatics on Twitter, but Twitter is serious about kicking people off for threats and misiniformation. If Elon controlled Twitter, it would be a free for all for goons and maniacs.

Elon doesn’t care about freedom of speech. He cares about power.

A couple weeks ago, Elon bought $2.6 billion of Twitter stock making him the largest shareholder of the company with a 9.2 percent ownership. Twitter announced they were putting him on their board of directors. While that would have brought the flamethrower inside the house, it would have prevented him from buying more than 14.9 percent of Twitter stock and attempting a hostile takeover. At first, Elon was enthusiastic about being on the board and said he planned “to make significant improvements” to the platform. He even changed his investment designation to clarify he’s not simply a “passive” investor (only for the richest man in the world would $2.6 billion be “passive”), but one who intends to impact the way the company is run. And then, Elon turned down the invite which told everyone he was going to attempt a hostile takeover.

Elon then offered to purchase Twitter for $43 billion. To fend of a potential hostile takeover, Twitter enacted a “poison pill” by diluting Elon’s stake. How does this work? It’s a new structure set for a limited time that allows shareholders to purchase additional shares at a discount if another shareholder acquires ownership of 15 percent. This plan expires in a year. The hope of the company is that this “poison pill” will discourage Elon from buying more than 15 percent of stock. It’s a risky strategy that could devalue the company.

Elon may have violated a Securities and Exchanges law by reporting his investment late. The SEC requires investors to disclose when their holdings in a company surpass five percent. Elon waited three weeks to disclose he owned over nine percent. After he finally disclosed his purchase, the stock jumped up 30 percent and it’s believed that Elon made over $156 million from his rulebreaking. I guess laws regarding purchasing large amounts of stock are as confusing to Elon as free speech.

The one detail that may save Twitter from Elon purchasing it and making it a private company is that he may not actually have the money to do so, even with cheating while playing the stock market. People tend to be worth more than the actual cash they have on hand. If you own a home, business, or both, you know this. You can be worth $300,000 and not have any cash on hand. For Elon to purchase Twitter, he’ll have to divest a lot of his holdings, which would include Tesla.

A lot of people wonder why Elon even wants Twitter? Couldn’t he just create his own platform like Donald Trump did? Surely, Elon would do a much better job with it than Trump has with TruthSocial, which is such a horrible platform that even Trump won’t use it. I mean, Elon has Tesla. He’s sending astronauts into space. So, why doesn’t he create his own?

Elon doesn’t want to build a new platform that doesn’t have any users. Twitter has nearly 400 million users. While there was a market and need for a new private aerospace manufacturer in 2002, there’s not a need for another Twitter in 2022. And Elon doesn’t create everything he owns. He bought Tesla and then named himself as a founder.

The greatest danger of Elon owning Twitter and taking it private is that he won’t just ruin Twitter, but he may take the country down with him. Twitter made the correct call when it removed Donald Trump. It was long overdue as he had a history of tweeting lies and hate before he sent his “it’s gonna be wild” shout-out to white nationalists. It’s dangerous because Elon doesn’t understand that organizing terrorist attacks is not free speech. It’s also not free speech to accuse people of being pedophiles just because you don’t like them. If Elon owns Twitter, it will be a Nazi paradise. Who do you think is most excited about the prospect of Elon Musk owning Twitter? Elon may destroy Twitter and the nation with it.

Elon is not about free speech because he doesn’t even know what he is. He’s blocked people on Twitter who’s called out his bullshit. Elon claims he’s a free speech “absolutist,” but he’s just an absolute troll.

Music note: I listened to the Toadies while drawing today.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Musk You Mansplain?


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Kids, class is in session. Today, I’m going to educate you on the use of a specific slur. Now, not all of you need to be schooled on this but there are quite a few of you who are ignorant motherfuckers, so you’re the ones I’m really talking to.

The slur we’re going to address today is “Karen.” Everybody has heard this used before but some of you aren’t using it correctly. Wait, there’s a question from the class. Is it always sexist to use the slur “Karen?” The best answer I can give you is, probably. But, there are times when it’s definitely sexist.

A few days ago, one of my cartooning colleagues used “Karen” in a tweet. Even though nobody knew who he was tweeting to or what he was talking about, he got screamed at a lot for being sexist. He apologized and promised never to use it again. Even though nobody knew how he was using it except it was supposed to be an insult directed at someone, it was decided it was sexist. It probably was.

Another question? Yes? What is a Karen? Good question.

First off, a Karen has to be white and female. Now, if you call a dude “Karen,” then you are being sexist. Some men are called “Kens.” And since there is a “Ken” maybe that means “Karen” isn’t always sexist. But, the true meaning of Karen means an entitled and demanding white woman. Now if you want to call a black woman a Karen…never mind. Just do it. I dare you.

Remember that lady in Central Park who called the cops because she saw a black guy? Remember that other time when a white lady called the cops because she saw a black family having a picnic? Remember when Donald Trump asked a black reporter to set up a meeting between him and black members of Congress because all black people must know each other (for the part for a minute where that’s NOT a reporter’s job)? Remember the white St. Louis couple who pulled out and pointed guns because black people were walking in front of their house? Ever see a white person ask to see the manager? Ever see a white person screaming they shouldn’t have to wear a face mask during the pandemic? Those are classic Karen moments.

The pandemic has been ripe for Karens.

A few months ago, I was at my favorite sushi place in town and I was standing in line behind a white woman. She was dressed very nicely as if she came from money, but I wasn’t judging…yet. The wait was taking a couple minutes and as a younger lady walked near us, the nicely-dressed woman, I guess she was tired of standing in line, stopped the younger woman and said she just wanted to get a table and if the young woman could take her to one. The young girl told her, “I don’t work here.” The young girl was Asian. And then I said very loudly, “Good job, Karen.”

I lied. I didn’t say that. I only thought it. I was afraid if I did say that, then the older woman would’ve clocked me, or at the very least, I’d still have to stand in line next to her for a few more minutes. I’m not letting no Karen get between me and my spicy tuna roll. But, I think that would have been the proper use of “Karen.” The older white woman was entitled, believing she shouldn’t have to wait in line, and she assumed the younger woman worked at the sushi restaurant because she was Asian.

What is not a proper use of “Karen” is when you hurl it at a female just because she disagrees with you. Basically, if you’re a Republican, you shouldn’t use it at all. If you’re rich, yeah, just don’t. That word doesn’t belong to you. It’s kinda like when liberals called Don Jr “Fredo,” and then Trumpers started using it for Hunter Biden and Chris Cuomo. The “Let’s Go Brandon” morons can’t create good insults. Case in point “Let’s go Brandon.” Also, “snowflake,” and “libtard.”

Billionaire Elon Musk used “Karen” incorrectly. Earlier this week, after being named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year, he called Senator Elizabeth Warren, “Senator Karen,” for saying Billionaire Elon, who’s worth $297 billion dollars, needs to pay taxes.

Elon tweeted at the Senator, “Stop projecting.” What is she projecting? Is that another word you don’t know how to use, Elon? In 2018, Elizabeth Warren and her husband paid $302,227 on $913,000 of income. Between 2015 to 2017, Elon paid $70,000 for those years combined. In 2018, he paid nothing. So, Elon…what is Elizabeth Warren projecting? And that’s when he called Elizabeth Warren “Senator Karen.”

He continued tweeting and said, “You remind me of when I was a kid and my friend’s angry Mom would just randomly yell at everyone for no reason. Please don’t call the manager on me, Senator Karen.” Can anyone make sense of that? Who’s the manager in this situation? Was the friend’s mom in a grocery store while screaming for no reason? Also, how is Senator Warren a “Karen”? Did Elon just skip through a few right-wing memes?

Let me point something out to you, Elon: Senator Warren has a very good reason to scream at you. Every American taxpayer has a very good reason to scream at you. And you don’t know how to use the term “Karen.”

Another person who doesn’t know how to use the slur is Joe Battenfield of the Boston Herald.

Battenfield wrote that Elon used the term “perfectly,” in that Warren is a “rich, privileged, older white woman used to getting her way and bullying people around.” Battenfield claims the “richest man in the world wins this round” and then uses Elon Musk’s slur in calling Warren “Senator Karen.” Battenfield copied it from Elon Musk because again, conservatives suck at coming up with their own slang and nicknames, even the ones who are writers, like Joe Butthole (It’s cool that I call you “Butthole” since we’re making up nicknames for people now, right?). It’s like how they always use Donald Trump’s juvenile insults like, “Pocahontas.” Oh, yeah. Elon sent a tweet with a link to that too. So, not only are Elon and Joe “Butthole” Battenfield being sexist here, they’re both racists.

Also, what’s funnier than “Senator Karen” is “Space Karen.” You’d think Elon wouldn’t want to bring “Karen” back. “Space Karen” is catchy.

But, Joe Butthole…how is Elizabeth Warren bullying Elon Musk? Leave it to a conservative to say a man worth $297 billion is being bullied by a woman. That’s pretty Karenish right there, Butthole.

When you receive billions in government subsidies and then campaign against other billionaires receiving government subsidies, that’s when you lose all rights to accuse others of being entitled, Space Karen. When you spread misinformation on a pandemic and vaccines, that’s when you lose the right to call anyone a “Karen,” Space Karen. When you buy spaceships just for fun and as a novelty, that’s when you lose all rights to call anyone a “Karen,” Space Karen.

Note: I apologize to all the Karens I know, and those I don’t, who definitely are NOT Karens in this sense. I especially apologize to Karen Black, who is one of my very best friends (even though she won’t even try sushi and puts ketchup on everything), is about as liberal as I am, is a huge advocate for saving the environment, and is part Jamaican. Hell, even her last name is “Black.” So, my favorite Karen, and one of my favorite people (even though I once caught her putting ketchup on a hot dog on America’s birthday), is not a Karen. The Karens are making it really bad for the Karens. I propose we drop “Karen” and replace it with “Ivanka.” Who the hell knows an Ivanka?

Music note: I listened to the Rolling Stones again while drawing today’s cartoon. Maybe I should have listened to some David Bowie.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Space Litter


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It’s been a big year for missile tests by U.S. rivals. China test-fired a hypersonic missile that went around the planet. Hypersonic is Mach 5 speed. That’s fast. Russia test-fired a missile in the Arctic. And last week, Russia test-fired a missile in space. Yes, in outer space.

Kids, we spend over $700 billion a year on our military which is more than the next top-ten spending nations combined. So, why are we behind China and Russia in hypersonic missile technology? We spend nearly $4 billion a year on hypersonic missiles that don’t work. How about we spend more money on feeding poor kids and free college and less on military shit that doesn’t work? We could probably put new dog parks in every U.S. city with $4 billion. And I bet dogs would be better at intercepting Chinese missiles than Space Force. I base this on a kung pao Chicken-Beagle interception incident I experienced once.

At this point, our anti-missile missiles have as much of a chance at intercepting a hypersonic missile as Donald Trump has of returning a serve by Serena Williams.

It’s the Russian missile test in space that really has everyone’s dander flaking. Russia blew up one of their own satellites which created a lot of debris in space.

Space debris is a huge problem for spacecraft like the International space station (ISS). The United States Space Surveillance Network is tracking about 20,000 pieces of artificial objects in space. While over 2,200 of this are satellites, the rest is junk from former space missions. It includes pieces of satellites, rockets, boosters, spacecraft, other assorted particles, and even solidified liquids from orbital spacecraft. This stuff can be dangerous to the humans flying around in space, like those on the ISS. A piece of space crap can destroy solar panels, and that’s just for starters. Space junk, in addition to dubstep, may be why aliens never come here.

The over 2,200 artificial objects we are sure about are only the objects large enough to track. Space nerds estimate there are over 128 million pieces of particles orbiting Earth that are from one to ten centimeters in size. Yes, something that small can inflict heavy damage. In case you’re a Republican gun humper and you need a comparison to understand how tiny a centimeter can be, look in your pants.

After the Russians blew up their satellite, the crew of the ISS had to scramble into capsules in case they had to evacuate the station.

The ISS orbits the planet at an altitude of 260 miles. So, if the space billionaire assholes (Jeff Bezos, Richard Branson, and Elon Musk) and their egos had been in space during the Russian missile test, they would NOT have been in any danger. Richard Branson got about 52 miles above the planet and Jeff Bezos reached 62. In case you’re a Republican, 260 is a greater amount than 52 and even 62.

This billionaire asshole space race is only to feed billionaire asshole egos, just like the Space Force was only created to placate Billionaire asshole Donald Trump’s ego and to give his racist rally attendees a new catchphrase (this was before they came up with “hang Mike Pence”). What did Space Force do to prevent the Russian missile test? It may have encouraged it.

There is an international treaty that forbids testing missiles in space. It bans nations from claiming the moon and other celestial bodies and forbids military stations in space, like the Death Star. While it doesn’t ban all military activity, creating an entire branch of your military that’s exclusively devoted to space kinda pokes the other 110 signers of the treaty in the eye. However, it’s not like Russia has respected the treaty before the creation of the Space Force. It should be noted that it was the Soviet Union that signed the treaty and not Russia.

But if Russia needs something to shoot down in space, I can think of better targets than satellites. And hey, before you get upset and believe I’m advocating killing billionaire assholes, just think of this like Paul Gosar thinks of his violent and racist anime. It’s just a cartoon.

There’s a lot of crap in space, including billionaire asshole egos.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: 

Billionaires In Space


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When you see bored billionaires spending their money to go into space or say they didn’t know taxes were supposed to be paid on fringe benefits like cars, apartments, and tuition, you know we need to raise taxes on these rich-ass bastards.

American billionaires Jeff Bezos, South African/Canadian/American (make up your mind) billionaire Elon Musk, British rich bastard Richard Branson, and Russian/Israeli miser Yuri Milner are all fucking around with space. I predict, like their fellow rich alum Thurston Howell III, one of these rich fuckos is going to be end up stranded on an island.

When you are spending $100 million to build a giant laser to shoot silicon microchips into space to see if an alien will catch one of them, you may have too much money on your hands. That’s what Yuri Milner is up to. This isn’t as much scientific research as it is an expensive hobby. What’s he going to do next? Shoot up small dogs to see if they can bark in space? Milner is one of the poorest billionaires in this race with his wealth estimated somewhere between $3-$4 billion.

Elon Musk’s company, SpaceX, plans to colonize Mars, but before they get that on, he’s going to use his craft, Starship (good job with the naming, guys) to fly into space, open a door, and scoop up space litter, which is probably less hazardous than scooping kitty litter. Each launch of Starship will cost around $2 million. Elon is worth around $150 billion.

Jeff Bezos, who is worth about $187 billion, isn’t just entering the space tourism industry. He’s planning to shoot his own ass into space. Bezos is planning to launch on July 20 on board the New Shepard, the rocket ship made by his space company, Blue Origin. Bezos auctioned off a seat as well, with the price at $28 million. This trip is expected to last 11 minutes while Amazon can’t deliver new kitty litter within 11 days (HURRY!!!). You can probably go to an arcade and find one of those little rocket ship-shaped rides for toddlers that can shake your ass for 11 minutes for about 50 cents.

Richard Branson is poor compared to Bezos and Musk, but he’s about to beat all of them into space. He’s scheduled to lift off on board the VSS Unity, his ship built by his space tourism company, Virgin Galactic. One person has already been killed by Branson’s space hobby.

Then you have Donald Trump, the poorest of these billionaires, and unfortunately, isn’t being shot off to another planet. Trump claims he’s worth $10 billion but since everything that comes out of his mouth is like a litter box after your cat ate Indian food, he’s lying. Trump’s worth is probably closer to $2 billion. In the past, Trump has told us his taxes are too complicated for us to understand, yet during a recent rally, he displayed he doesn’t understand taxes. After his corporation and chief financial officer were charged for tax crimes, he said, “They go after good, hard-working people for not paying taxes on a company car. You didn’t pay tax on the car or a company apartment. You used an apartment because you need an apartment because you have to travel too far where your house is. You didn’t pay tax. Or education for your grandchildren. I don’t even know. Do you have to? Does anybody know the answer to that stuff?”

Yes, Tiny. You’re supposed to pay taxes on gifts. Pretty much everybody knows the answer “to this stuff.” The guy who has been hiding his tax returns for years and told us he knows taxes better than anyone, is asking if people have to pay taxes on expensive items. He also admitted to the crime. Oops. Maybe Donald Trump is trying to land in court before his billionaire compadres take off for space.

Trump is trying to get his poor, food-stamp-spending, white nationalist cult upset that rich people are being forced to pay taxes. And it’ll probably work. I mean, these fuckers are already upset over a single black mother collecting $200 a month to feed her baby, and aren’t even aware that Boeing receives over $13 billion a year in taxpayer subsidies.

I’m a big fan of raising taxes on the rich, and I’m a bigger fan of going after them for when they avoid paying taxes.

Donald Trump only paid $700 in taxes for some years while also engaging in shady tax schemes. Last year, Jeff Bezos tax rate was 0.98 percent. His company, Amazon, didn’t pay any taxes.

I propose we raise taxes on all these billionaires and rub their faces in used kitty litter.

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Watch me draw:

Ground Control To Caroline


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I have a confession to make and I’m not ashamed of it one bit. I hate the Neil Diamond song, Sweet Caroline.

There is nothing more annoying than a room full of drunk people all shouting together “bom bom bom.” Screw those people. As an immigration issue is red meat for racist Republican voters, Sweet Caroline is red meat for people with no discernible musical taste. A DJ wants a crowd reaction? Bom bom bom.

Sometimes I will initially like a song and grow to loathe it. I never liked Sweet Caroline. I don’t hate Neil Diamond though I’m not a fan of anything he’s ever done either. I have a meh attitude toward Mr. Diamond’s music.

As a musician, it’s not a sin that I don’t like Sweet Caroline. Disliking Major Tom, on the other hand, may be considered blasphemy. Aaaaaaaaand…I don’t like Major Tom. I’ve never liked it either. Not even for a minute. I do like David Bowie though. It’s just one of his tunes that I find really annoying.

Which brings us to Billionaire Elon Musk’s Tesla Roadster. Elon shot it into orbit on his rocket SpaceX. It was very impressive to see the two rocket boosters come back down to earth and land on the launching pad where they had lifted off. But, that car.

I wasn’t following the news very closely when I first saw images of the car tooling around Earth. I thought it was a funky Photoshop job someone did based off the early 1980s film Heavy Metal.

Heavy Metal was a cartoon movie with swear words, massive amounts of nudity, and stories that didn’t make sense. As a kid, it really confused me because there were boobs and I didn’t know if I was supposed to enjoy seeing them as they weren’t real yet, my mother wouldn’t have approved. But, the film started off with an astronaut flying through space in a 1963 Corvette to Don Felder’s “Heavy Metal,” which was a pretty decent kick-ass song despite being written by one of The Eagles.

And this week, it all came back to me as I saw Elon’s Roadster soaring through space. A mannequin suited as an astronaut is behind the wheel while David Bowie’s Major Tom is playing on an endless loop in the car stereo. That’s gotta be worse than the road trip I took with my son to Indiana in 2002 when he made me listen to NSYNC’s Bye Bye Bye a hundred times. I think after the first ten million miles or so, the inanimate object in that spaceman suit will come to life and throw the radio out the window at Mars, though it took the wrong exit and will never reach the red planet.

At least the radio isn’t on an endless loop playing Oasis’ Wonderwall. That would make the aliens who eventually find the car decide against ever visiting us.

The Roadster was supposed to go to Mars, but Elon miscalculated and now it’s headed toward the asteroid belt, which can’t be nearly as horrible as the time I took the wrong exit in Memphis and didn’t notice for over an hour that I was in Arkansas.

I think the entire SpaceX thing is brilliant, yet there are people on social media complaining about it. I can’t wait to see how Russians program their trolls to lie about that issue. Obama’s birth certificate is in the glove compartment? The trunk is full of illegal FISA warrants? It’s really Seth Rich in the astronaut suit?

Some argue that the car will contribute to the thousands of pieces of space junk orbiting our planet. If that was the case, then Elon should have shot up Fred Sanford’s pickup truck with his theme song on the loop. But since the Roadster is headed into deep space after circling our planet a couple times, I don’t think the International Space Station or the satellite for Fox News is in any danger of crashing into it.

The other complaint is that $90 million was spent shooting the car into space. A lot of people argue about how that money could have been better spent, like curing a disease, feeding the homeless, buying “impeach Trump now” ads, etc. Do you know how many porn stars $90 million can pay to keep quiet? I do not. Cartoonists don’t do math or porn stars.

I don’t think that money was wasted. Tesla doesn’t advertise, but that $90 million has everyone talking about them. Fiat, Ford, and General Motors spend billions a year on advertising. Their ads don’t lead to innovations in science and space exploration, though the girl in the Toyota ads is really cute. Elon’s money also didn’t put Sweet Caroline in my head like one car commercial has done. I don’t remember the car, but that song….grrrr.

That $90 million also got me to draw a cartoon that’s not about Donald Trump. Vroom!

Here’s the video:

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude