Rooty Tooty For Pootie


I was scrolling through my news feed on Facebook a few hours ago and I noticed one of my conservative friends created a post with a complaint. This friend, we’ll call her Allie because that’s her real name, was upset because she had posted a news story only to have it removed by Facebook. She posted it three times and three times Facebook had removed it.

Why would Facebook remove her post? Probably because it was a conspiracy theory generated by Russian bots from one of their troll farms. The story was about the children from the Parkland shooting who are voicing out for gun control, and how they’re actually paid actors.  The story is such garbage that Donald Trump will probably retweet it later. He’s retweeted from Russian bots before.

Donald Trump is an idiot, but Allie is not. Allie, however, does find confirmation bias too delicious to pass up or to confirm. Who cares if it’s advancing the goals of a hostile nation intent to tearing ours apart? Did you hear about the Washington pizza parlor?

They call it a troll farm for a reason. The Russians are creating trolls and Allie has allowed herself to become one. Many of these people are unwittingly hurting our nation. Others are aware and just don’t care. Screw pride, principles, and ethics. Did you hear that the Pope endorsed Trump?

First off, they hurt our nation by voting for Donald Trump. Earlier this week, a Trump supporter, we’ll call Gary because that’s his real name, told me he voted for the lesser of two evils. I pointed out that the lesser of two evils is not the candidate supported by Vladimir Putin. Gary, who is a veteran and considers himself a patriot, told me he doesn’t need voting tips from someone of my persuasion. Never mind that Gary’s allowing himself to be persuaded by Putin. Did you hear about Obama bugging Trump Tower?

It’s not just confirmation bias that moves these people to support Russia over the United States. It’s their partisanship, which is apparently more important than national security. National security was an important issue to them and one of the biggest reasons they cite for voting against Hillary Clinton, for who they chanted “lock her up” because of her email server. Now that Donald Trump has given classified information to Russians who were hanging out in the Oval Office, and he has over 100 staffers in the White House who can’t get a security clearance, national security doesn’t seem that important anymore. Did you read the Nunes memo?

Russia is dirty. They helped Donald Trump cheat to win the presidency. They’re so dirty, that because of doping their Olympic athletes can’t even compete under their nation’s flag. They’re so dirty that even their curling team is doping. I thought doping would be for watching curling, not playing it.

To Trump supporters, stop sharing fake news. Stop helping a hostile nation destroy ours. They’re still attacking us and you, unlike Trump, should stop helping them.

Root for the home team.

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