Republican Head


One of the funny things about the great cancel culture distraction when it comes to the Republican fear of trans potatoes, is the Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head are the same toys. I’m sure Hasbro has huge boxes of plastic potatoes somewhere in Taiwan and at some point along an assembly line, someone earning 43 cents an hour makes the crucial call for each potato whether it’ll have a mustache or a wig.

Technically, Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head are both anatomically correct as potatoes don’t have penises and vaginas. I’m not a farmer but I’m still pretty sure of this. But, what the fuckers at Fox News are up in their plastic arms about is that Hasbro has dropped the “Mr” and “Mrs” from the toy line. But, they have not from the individual characters. I know. It’s weird. Let’s hope Sean Hannity never removes the camo pants off his GI Joes or he’s going to have an on-air freak-out. That may not be fair as it’s possible he’s removed the pants from his GI Joes lots and lots of times.

At some point, I expect these bags of dicks to show up at Hasbro with literal bags of dicks.

These things are just distractions. “Cancel culture” does not exist. I mean, if “cancel culture” did exist, then it has to be the description for all things canceled, like Colin Kaepernick from the National Football League or Rob Rogers, this year’s Herblock Award winner, from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Rob was fired because he refused to stop drawing cartoons about Donald Trump. He was literally fired for doing his job. But don’t worry. His right-wing replacement has drawn numerous cartoons about liberals and their “cancel culture.” Conservatives do not get irony.

Here’s the thing, kids: It’s not “cancel culture” to be removed from a social media platform by a private corporation because you retweeted Nazis or used the platform to organize terrorists. Was ISIS “canceled” by Twitter? I haven’t heard anyone on Fox News crying for the free-speech rights of al Qaida.

It’s also not “cancel culture” when the owner of the product decides to make changes. 

It’s not “cancel culture” when Disney decides to put a warning label on The Muppet Show. Are the shows gone? No. If nothing else, it’s easier to find them now. If you really love the Muppets, you can go watch the Muppets. Nobody is stopping you. Not even those two old guys in the balcony who hate everything. Even they’re more optimistic than the Fox fuckers. “Hey, Fox News isn’t half bad.” “I know. It’s all bad!”

It’s not “cancel culture” because the Dr. Seuss company decides to pull six books that you never read from their line of over 80 books. Nobody forced them. No government came down on them. The company that owns the titles is the one to make the decision on how Dr. Seuss’s legacy will be represented. It’s not up to you or anyone on Fox News. And let’s face facts. You’re not rushing out to purchase these Dr. Seuss titles any more than you’re out buying up all the Goya products. You Republicans don’t do spicy and you don’t do reading.

It’s not “cancel culture” when Warner Bros. decides to remove Pepe Le Pew from an upcoming film and all future projects. You can disagree and believe they’re overreacting, but it’s their skunk. Nancy Pelosi did not make this happen. The only skunk who contributed to rape culture that the public has removed was Donald Trump, who by the way, probably hasn’t seen his penis in years without the aid of a mirror on the floor.

Why are Republicans distracting right now? Because they don’t have anything else. Joe Biden’s approval ratings are sky high. The popularity of the covid-relief package, the American Rescue Plan, is astronomically high even with Republicans. So what can Republicans in Washington and on Trump TV bitch about? I know. Let’s make up some shit.

Look at the border. Sure, we can criticize the detainment of unaccompanied minors, but Republicans have made up lies about immigrants bringing coronavirus with them and have blamed President Biden for the fact they’re coming here. They are literally blaming Biden for being such a good president, that more people want to come to this nation. The distraction also helps to deflect from the fact that this was built up during the Trump regime as they would turn away immigrants who were seeking asylum..

George W. Bush tanked the economy. President Barack Obama rescued our economy and made it grow. What did Republicans have to complain about? They literally said it was the “worst recovery in American history.” That would be like all those Trump terrorists crapping in the Capitol during their insurrection, which they literally did, and then blaming Democrats for how slow they were to clean it up. Hey, you missed a spot!

I would half expect Republicans to gripe that they could have beaten the Nazis better than FDR did, but you know…if they didn’t love Nazis so much.

How dishonest are Republicans? I saw a meme this morning comparing the economic numbers in Obama’s first year, 2009, to the wonderful economic numbers in 2019 under Trump. The meme is dishonest. It ignores that Obama’s first year was his inheritance of Bush’s economy. It ignored that Trump inherited Obama’s great economy. And then, it totally ignores Trump’s last year when he tanked the economy. And all the comments under the meme were comments about the greatness of Trump and the nightmare of Obama. This shit works on Republicans? Why? Because they don’t have dicks.

No, it doesn’t work because they don’t have dicks. It works because they’re stupid…and they don’t have dicks.

So, don’t believe all the crap you’re hearing about Mr. Potato Head being trans and whether or not he has a tater telewacker from some Republican so fat that he hasn’t seen his own penis since the first Bush presidency…or from Tucker Carlson who hasn’t seen his penis ever, not because he’s overweight, but because he doesn’t have one.

Quite frankly, I think it’s a little concerning how consumed Republicans are thinking about penises.

Creative note: I put details into my cartoon characters that I see in actual people. Two weeks ago, I was at my dentist and his assistant has the hair style seen on the child in this cartoon. I loved her hair and knew I’d be adding it to a cartoon soon. I don’t know if she’d be flattered or insulted so I’m not sending it to her. I don’t want to piss off people who put sharp things in my mouth.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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