Disney Gator Attack

Beware Of Tourists


cjones06202016

I have drawn more cartoons in the past week with alligators and crocodiles than cartoons with Donald Trump. I’ll try to move on after this unless Donald Trump makes a comment about how much “the” gators love him.

After a child was snatched by a gator in Florida there’s been a lot of debate about how Disney could have prevented the attack. I don’t think there’s much they could have done. Many people point out that Disney does have signs on their property warning tourists about the presence of alligators, but none at the area where the family suffered the tragedy.

Would more signs work? Maybe.

During the 2000’s my city of Fredericksburg had a problem with drownings in the Rappahannock River. Most of the drownings were Spanish speaking immigrants. The city put up signs in English and Spanish and it seems to have worked. After several drownings it seems they stopped after the signs went up. Don’t tell Trump because he might send Chris Christie down here to tear them down.

There was also a big issue about cars being towed in the city. Tourists were parking downtown at a convenience store across the street from a very expensive restaurant. There were signs warning that their cars would be towed, but the tourists would ignore them and later write letters to the editor complaining about their vehicles being towed.

Having your vehicle towed isn’t the same tragedy as drowning or being snatched by an alligator, but the comparison is interesting. My editor at the time wanted me to draw a cartoon attacking the tow companies. I thought the towers were a bunch of vultures but at the same time I didn’t want to defend stupidity. My editor argued that the tourists, being from out of town, weren’t as aware of the danger of their vehicles being towed. I argued that they kinda had it coming. There were signs and the tourists were usually from a place like Fairfax, not Guatemala.

The comparison I found interesting is that the Spanish speaking immigrants were good with signs. Stuck up tourists from Northern Virginia, not so much.

The tourists who lost their child are from Nebraska. Would they have paid attention to a sign warning of alligators? Who knows. They don’t have alligators in Nebraska. Nebraska has corn and tornadoes. A Nebraskan might have heard about the danger of large lizards, but kinda shrug it off because who can actually fathom their child being grabbed by an alligator? Alligators are not a common hazard for them.

Louisiana and Florida each has over a million alligators. They’re a larger problem in Florida as that state has more people, more cities, more urban areas, more development, and more tourist attractions like Disney. Louisiana doesn’t have as much development where the alligators hang out. When tourists visit Louisiana they’re more likely visit New Orleans where you’re more likely to be snatched by a transvestite hooker than an alligator. Other dangers in The Big Easy are muggers, stabbers, and corrupt cops. You’d rather face an alligator.

Online couch sitting parenting experts are also saying that Disney should physically remove the alligators. Good luck with that. Male alligators are territorial and they like their own space. They will travel over 30 miles to find it. You can’t fence them out as they can actually climb fences. They’re not real smart (maybe sporting a higher IQ than tourists from Fairfax), but persistent. If Floridians can’t keep them out of their pools how can Disney be expected to keep them out of their lagoons? On top of all that, if an alligator is fed by a human just once, that alligator starts losing his fear of humans and starts associating them with snacks and the next thing you know, you lost a Schnauzer.

Even though alligators are extremely dangerous, it’s very unlikely to be attacked by one unless you’re a schnauzer (another stupid creature. I know. I had one. It once ate a paycheck which it found in the inside pocket of a jacket that was hanging up). Humans are more of a threat to them and probably not as tasty as a schnauzer.

More signs should be put up but honestly, there might be a better chance of the gators paying attention to them than the tourists.

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Is That An Alligator In Your Pocket?


cjones06172016

I know. Go ahead and give it to me. This is very insensitive and has poor timing. I’m not good with sensitive or sacred cows…or in this case, reptiles. At least I didn’t go with my first heartless idea which consisted of an alligator eating Mickey Mouse. Pissing off the NRA, Trump, and Republicans I’m good with. Disney on the other hand….ugh.

If there was a huge money-making alligator industry and rednecks used them to overcompensate for their tiny penises, there would be a trade organization buying off congressmen to make sure anyone could buy an alligator at any time.

Right now the Democrats in the U.S. Senate are conducting a filibuster to force the Republicans to schedule a vote on gun control. This has totally stopped all Senate business….which means it’s pretty much like any day in the Senate.

Republicans HATE to talk about gun control. The only issue they hate talking about more is Donald Trump. If you really wanna flummox a GOP office holder, ask him about Trump’s revolving position on guns.

Creative note: I’ve had a theme with alligators the past few days. Last week I drew Donald Trump with alligator arms (played that off a Geico commercial). Today I drew a commissioned cartoon with crocodiles for a brand new client that’s based outside the United States (Claytoonz is going international. You’ll see it Friday). Now today I drew this. I can’t help it. I like reptiles.

I really like reptiles. I once worked in the reptile house of a small zoo in northeast Louisiana in the late 1980’s. My favorite story from that brief adventure comes from the day we cleaned the alligator pool. I didn’t do any actual cleaning but it was my job to keep the gators and Alligator Snapping Turtles away from the cleaners. I was armed only with a stick. There were five gators in the tank. They were all under six feet long except for this one mother. Before we could drain the pool we had to get one gator out which we did with a lasso. That took several hours. Some genius designed the pool where the drain was in the deep end and had to be manually unplugged. Nobody likes diving with alligators.

The alligators cooperated for the most part. The turtles, not so much. In fact, the turtles concerned me a lot more than the gators.

A large chunk of my childhood was spent in Louisiana. When I was a kid my older sister and I swam in a bayou with them. As a teenager my buddies and I swam in the same water. We never had an issue. When I was around ten or eleven we actually had two pet baby alligators, which was and still is illegal. I didn’t know that at the time and thankfully, the statute of limitations has long passed. We only had them for about a week. They weren’t as cuddly as we thought they might be. I got bit a lot. They never bit my sister once.

I do feel really bad for the parents who lost a child this week in Orlando to an alligator attack. That city had one tragic week. Losing a child under any circumstance is a horrible thing to live with. I know. It’s something I’ve been very close to. I’m sure Disney will never make this family wait in line for Pirates Of The Caribbean ever again.

A lot of people are asking questions about the parents, just like when that Cincinnati gorilla thing happened. Thing is, things happen. This is a freak occurrence that’s a true tragedy. I don’t think there are any safety measures that can prevent something like this happening once in a million years, especially after you build tourist resorts on a swamp.

Before posting this I searched for hashtags and one of them is “Disney Gator” which sounds a lot happier than it really is.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!