Diaper Don

Diaper Don


cjones12052020

Donald Trump claims nobody respects the troops more than he does. He claims he’s “rebuilt” our military. He even claims he’s restocked our stockpile of nuclear weapons. All of that is bullshit.

The truth is, we’ve spent over $600 billion per year on our military for over a decade before Donald Trump stole the presidency. There’s not a lot of rebuilding required when you’ve been pumping over $600 billion a year into something. Eric Trump even claimed we have new aircraft carriers because of his father. If that’s so, I challenge Eric to name them. We have not restocked our pile of nuclear weapons and I hope we’re not keeping them in a pile. That just doesn’t sound very safe.

But the biggest lie is that nobody respects the military more than Donald Trump. According to reports, he has referred to those who volunteer for our armed services as “suckers and losers.” He told his former chief-of-staff, General John Kelly, while at his son’s gravesite at Arlington National Cemetery, that he doesn’t “get it.” Why would anyone put their lives on the line fighting for their country? He asked, “What’s in it for them?”. That’s the exact type of question a grifter would ask.

And of course Trump doesn’t get it. He dodged the draft to serve during the Vietnam War. You don’t see any of his five kids serving in our military. Granted, Barron isn’t old enough yet but don’t hold out on him joining even the Space Force. Even George W. Bush and Dan Quayle joined the National Guard. These petty little trust-fund baby bastards wouldn’t even join the Kiss Army.

Trump screamed and pitched a fit over reports he doesn’t respect our military. He acted like a diaper baby over it. It seems to me that if you want people to believe you respect our military, then you don’t go blocking a bill that funds the military. You don’t block a bill that provides raises for our men and women who are willing to die for our nation. It also seems to me that if you don’t want people accusing you of being a baby, then you don’t act like a baby.

Donald Trump is threatening to veto a defense bill if it doesn’t include the repeal of a legal shield for internet companies. What he wants is a repeal of a law that protects companies like Twitter and Facebook from posts by third parties.

What that law means is, if a lunatic posts something racists and terrible on Twitter, then it’s the lunatic who should be held liable, not Twitter. There’s supposed to be a good faith measure by the internet companies to find and remove such content. Over the past several months, Twitter has been slapping “not true” labels on a lot of posts by racist lunatics that contain lies and conspiracy theories. They’ve been specifically targeting posts made by an orange racist lunatic. But believe it or not, that’s not what has Diaper Don upset.

I’m sorry, did I refer to him as “Diaper Don?” I only did so because that’s what this is all about.

After Trump’s little teeny tiny press conference where he was seated at a little teeny tiny desk that looked like it was produced by Fisher Price, the hashtag “Diaper Don” started trending. It looks like this: #DiaperDon.

Donald Trump tweeted that these hashtags aren’t really “trending” and Twitter is just making it up. Like with his election fraud claims, Trump doesn’t have any proof or knowledge of that and is just making it up.

What does #DiaperDon trending have to do with funding our military? Absolutely nothing, but there aren’t going to be that many more bills for Donald Trump to hold hostage between now and when he’s Former President (sic) Trump.

He has already threatened to veto the bill, which is over $700 billion, over a provision mandating the Pentagon remove Confederate names from military bases and other property.

So, Donald Trump respects our military so much that he’s threatening to veto pay raises for our troops over a Diaper Don hashtag and removing from bases, the names of people who fought against our troops.

The biggest question here is: Why does anyone who considers themselves a patriot still support Diaper Don?

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw:

Tiny Desk For Diaper Don


cjones11302020

Yesterday, Donald Trump finally took a few questions from reporters and said that he’d leave the White House if the electoral college goes for Joe Biden. He said, “Certainly I will. And you know that.”

Then he said, “If they do, they’ve made a mistake.”

Later in the day, he moved the goal post, again, and tweeted, “Biden can only enter the White House as President if he can prove that his ridiculous ‘80,000,000 votes’ were not fraudulently or illegally obtained. When you see what happened in Detroit, Atlanta, Philadelphia & Milwaukee, massive voter fraud, he’s got a big unsolvable problem!”

A few takeaways here:

First, what “big unsolvable problem?” The only one with a “big unsolvable problem” is Trump and that’s trying to prove his lie that he won the election.

It’s not up to Donald Trump to decide who won the election. He can not refuse to leave because he’s unsatisfied with “proof”

It’s not up to Joe Biden to prove a negative.

If there was so much voter fraud, then why didn’t Donald Trump’s shitty ridiculous lawyers use that evidence in any one of their 31 cases that were thrown out of court for lack of evidence?

There will be proof as each state certifies and the electoral college goes for Joe Biden. After that, I’m sure Donald Trump will be sitting behind his teeny tiny desk with his arms folded screaming they “made a mistake.” Of course, that teeny tiny desk will probably be at Mar-a-Lago.

Screaming is what Diaper Don does. While sitting behind his teeny tiny desk next to an undecorated Christmas tree that Melania probably said, “Fuck Christmas decorations to,” Donald Trump screamed at a reporter for asking a logical question.

The reporter, Jeff Mason of Reuters, asked if Donald Trump would concede if the electoral college votes for Biden. OK, in any other administration, it wouldn’t be a logical question.

Trump lashed out, which made sitting at the tiny desk look even more ridiculous, and said, “Don’t talk to me that way. You’re just a lightweight. Don’t talk to me that way. I’m the president of the United States. Don’t ever talk to the president that way.”

I’m sure nobody is going to talk to President Joe Biden that way. But what is it with Donald Trump having to insult people?

He screams he’s the president, which I’m sure he’ll continue to do AFTER January 20 and Biden is in the White House, while insulting people like a child.

He also tweeted, “Twitter is sending out totally false ‘Trends’ that have absolutely nothing to do with what is really trending in the world. They make it up, and only negative ‘stuff.” Don’t ask me why “trend” was capitalized.

He then tweeted, “For purposes of National Security, Section 230 must be immediately terminated!!!”

What is he talking about? He’s talking about a law that protects websites from lawsuits over content posted by users. Like if you own Twitter, and someone created a post accusing someone else of rape or of being a Nazi, then you couldn’t be sued for owning the platform the post was created on…just the person who created the post can be sued.

Or in this case, you can’t be sued because someone created the hashtag #DiaperDon. Seriously. According to reports, after his tiny desk press conference, the Diaper Don hashtag really pissed him off.

He got so upset, he filled his diaper.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

There is no video for this cartoon or the last one because I need to add the software to this new computer…and Corel is a real asshole about sending me the download keys for shit I already paid for. Fuck you, Corel.