David Pecker

Clay’s Weird News


cjones08292018

Michael Flynn has flipped on Trump. Rick Gates has flipped on Trump. His personal lawyer/fixer Michael Cohen, who recorded everything, is flipping. His chief financial officer, Allen Weaselburger (actually, Weisselberg. I just like “Weaselburger”) just got immunity after being implicated by Cohen, which will probably implicate a lot of other people, and a few named Trump. Now, Trump has to worry about his leaky pecker.

I’ve always wondered what kind of person believes the stories in the National Enquirer. I’ve also wondered what sort of person would believe anything that comes out of Donald Trump’s mouth. Now, I’m starting to get it.

The gossip rag National Enquirer was supportive of Donald Trump during the 2016 election. They ran front page headlines praising Trump and bashing his opponents. They accused Ted Cruz’s father of having something to do with the assassination of JFK. They ran multiple front pages on Hillary Clinton, claiming she was going to jail, only had six months to live, had brain cancer, was an alcoholic, has a lesbian lover, had a massive weight gain, and that she had framed the Trump family.

The Weekly World News’ headline about Bill Clinton hiring a three-breasted intern was more believable than anything the Enquirer published about Hillary.

The Enquirer also collected dirt on Trump. They investigated multiple stories of Trump’s infidelity…and proceeded to bury each. They enacted a program called “catch and kill,” which was to sign exclusive rights to a story and then bury it. That way, the person claiming they slept with Trump couldn’t tell their story to another publication.

This kind of “journalism” won high praise from Trump, who labels most of the media “fake news.” He said the Enquirer’s publisher, David Pecker, should be in charge of The New York Times and that the Enquirer should have won a Pulitzer Prize. Meanwhile, Pecker was storing all the Trump info in a safe.

After Trump won the election, Pecker became fearful having all the stories in the safe was a liability, so he moved them. To where we don’t know. But, since he, like Weaselburger, was implicated in a Cohen recording…wait for it…Pecker has flipped. Pecker has struck an immunity deal in the Trump inquiry.

The guy who paid off women, set up shell companies, and helped seek deals in Russia for Trump has flipped. Trump’s money man has flipped. And now, the guy with a safe full of dirt on Trump has flipped. If you want to see Trump flipping out, just watch his Twitter feed.

One tabloid headline claimed that Hillary Clinton was fleeing the country to avoid jail. I can see a future headline similar to that one, but perhaps with a different subject.

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Fake Editing


cjones06282018

Even before the major reasons why Donald Trump should not have been seriously considered for the presidency, I had a few that may appear petty but point to larger problems with the guy.

Trump’s inexperience, stupidity, sexism, and racism are all great reasons why the man shouldn’t have gotten farther than the rent-is-too-damn-high guy. But stuff like not paying people who work for him reveals a dishonest person who can’t be trusted. Stealing from his own charity also reveals dishonesty along with corruption because he’s a con man.

His insecurity and pettiness are exhibited by trophy wives, an extremely bad comb-over, and suits that don’t fit despite the fact he’s a billionaire who owns his own clothing line. But one of the kickers for me, as a journalist, is his love for the National Enquirer, a gossip tabloid that pays for stories and is sold at checkout lines next to Weekly World News (which is a much more entertaining read).

Put aside Trump’s penchant for labeling any real news and facts he doesn’t like as “fake news,” and his attacks on the press as “dishonest” and an “enemy to the American people.” Look at the judgement of a guy who believes the Enquirer should have won a Pulitzer and its editor should be in charge of The New York Times.

Trump has a friendship with the Enquirer. Its owner, David Pecker, is a pal. You can count the number of newspapers that endorsed Trump with both hands and have fingers left. The Enquirer is one of them. In addition to the endorsement, the paper would pay for the exclusive rights to stories from women claiming affairs with Trump, only to kill the stories.

Sam Nunberg, an early adviser to the campaign, compared the Enquirer to a campaign mailer. While a mailer was expensive, sent to prospective voters, and hardly ever read, the Enquirer was seen at every checkout line in the nation. Everyone reads the headlines while standing in line. Now, we’re learning those headlines were approved by Trump.

According to three sources with the weekly rag, the paper would send stories, photos, and mock front pages to Trump’s attorney/fixer Michael Cohen for approval. One story sent for approval was on Hillary Clinton’s health with a headline stating she only had six months left to live. Why vote for a dying candidate, right? That was published in September 2015 and in case you haven’t noticed, Hillary Clinton is still alive in 2018.

During the primary, the paper ran stories linking Ted Cruz’s father to JFK’s assassination, and even more unbelievable, rumors of Ted having multiple affairs.

A newspaper can print whatever it wants as long as it’s not libelous. They can publish lies. There isn’t even a law saying a publication can’t coordinate with a campaign. But, if a candidate exerts control over a publication then that can violate federal election laws.

The company that owns the Enquirer said they never sent stories for approval, but they also told us there were multiple women willing to have sex with Ted Cruz.

According to the sources, stories didn’t just go through Cohen. Trump would often have his assistant Hope Hicks contact Pecker (the publisher, not Trump’s little soldier) with story ideas, and would often call the guy himself.

According to one of the people with knowledge of the practice, the sharing continues. The source said, “Since Trump’s become president and even before, [Pecker] openly just has been willing to turn the magazine and the cover over to the Trump machine.”

Federal prosecutors subpoenaed American Media Inc., the Enquirer’s owner, as part of their investigation into Michael Cohen. They probably found a lot of interesting files related to the paper after raiding Cohen’s office, home, and hotel room.

I’m not sure if the paper violated any laws, and I would defend their First Amendment rights, even if they really are “fake news.” However, it goes beyond being a member of the free press and journalism if they acted as an extension of the Trump campaign.

I wouldn’t want to read a newspaper that favors Donald Trump, like the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette which just fired their cartoonist Rob Rogers for drawing Trump cartoons. It’s even worse when the publisher allows Trump to dictate their coverage.

I hate the term “fake news.” If it’s fake, it’s not news. And neither is the National Enquirer.

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Trump Love Child


cjones04152018

“Enquiring” minds want to know. Is there a Donald Trump love child out there? A love baby The Donald didn’t want anyone to know about? And it’s not Eric? As Trevor Noah said on his show, every kid in America who doesn’t know his father is panicking right now.

It does sound far-fetched that Trump has a sixth child from a fourth woman, but the FBI is looking into whether the National Enquirer paid a Trump Tower doorman $30,000 not to speak of Trump knocking up one of his maids. Yeah, it sure does sound unbelievable, unless the payment is true. Keep in mind, the National Enquirer, along with the dumbest attorney in America, Michael Cohen, have paid women to keep quiet about shagging Donald. There is a pattern of people being paid hush agreements for stuff that “never happened.”

The National Enquirer, the bastion of journalism Trump says should be a Pulitzer Prize winning newspaper, has a program they call “catch and kill.” This works by buying a story from a source, something actual journalism outlets do not do, and they kill it, as in, they never publish the story. Sheesh. The worst Fox News does is have their talking heads attending weekly dinners with Donald Trump. When Trump says “many people want him to fire Mueller,” “many people” is Sean Hannity.

Why would a newspaper, especially a crappy gossip tabloid conduct a catch-and-release program? They didn’t catch and kill the story about John Edwards being a baby daddy. They didn’t kill the story about Ted Cruz leaving a trail of booty calls across the nation. They didn’t kill the story of Michelle Obama’s secret divorce file. They didn’t kill the story of the Hillary Clinton sex scandal cover-up. They didn’t even kill the story about Hillary only having six months to live, back in 2015. So, why wouldn’t they want to run a story about Donald Trump plowing Playboy Playmates and porn stars? Because, David Pecker, that is his real name, is a Trump supporter (I used to have an editor who I’d refer to as Mr. Pecker, but it wasn’t his actual name).

Trump’s allies are afraid, and they should be. The FBI raid on Cohen’s office, home, and hotel room may have given the feds recordings the attorney made with his clients. How stupid is that? There may be recordings between Cohen and Trump discussing all sorts of illegal and nasty stuff, like “Where should we hide all these rubles?” “Are you sure she was eighteen?” “How much pee was there?”

It’s not necessarily a crime to pay hush money, but it can be if it’s designed to manipulate an election, as in an illegal campaign contribution. There are questions about where the company that owns the National Enquirer is getting their money for these payouts, as the publication has declared bankruptcy twice.

The FBI raid had Trump’s legal team call off negotiations to have the president interviewed by Mueller’s team. Now, Mueller may issue a grand jury subpoena and there’s now reports he’s building a case for obstruction of justice to send to the Deputy Attorney General if Trump doesn’t fire him first. It’s Friday, so anything can happen tonight around 8:00 PM.

Now, who wants to do a count of how many Trump scandals involve a pecker?

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!