Cyber Ninjas

Trump Cabinet


You can be forgiven if your first response to hearing Donald Trump is meeting with his cabinet at one of his golf clubs is, “What fucking cabinet? Is he insane?”

Yes. Donald Trump is insane. What’s worse is that people we suspect may not be totally bonkers are enabling his insanity.

If you know someone who thinks he’s Napoleon, you should probably call specialists who send trucks to pick up people like that instead of enabling him with something like, “Pardon, me sir…but will Lady Josephine be joining us at Waterloo today?”

Mark Meadows, Trump’s chief-of-staff from when he actually was president (sic), told Newsmax he visited Trump at Bedminster in New Jersey and, “We met with several of our cabinet members tonight.”

Uh, what cabinet? Let’s make something clear. Donald Trump does NOT have a cabinet because Donald Trump is NOT president. Maggie Haberman of The New York Times said, “I can’t stop thinking about this interview. The former chief of staff is talking as if there’s a shadow presidency going on (there isn’t) at a time when there’s a conspiracy theory that Trump will be reinstated (he won’t).”

Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics, a non-partisan watchdog group, said, “We can’t believe we have to say this, but no, Donald Trump is not secretly running the country from a golf course in New Jersey.”

I can’t believe I have to say this but Donald Trump is NOT the president.

There are people who still believe Donald Trump is the president. There are others who believe he was robbed and will return to the presidency on August 13. There are people who believe both, that he’s still the president and he’ll be reinstated as president…don’t ask me how that works. Donald Trump is selling all of this.

Lin Wood, a pro-Trump attorney, recently told a crowd of MAGAts, that Trump “is still the guy the military will call” in the event of a crisis. He added that President Joe Biden only APPEARS to be president. Yeah, winning an election, living in the White House, and signing bills into laws will give off that appearance.

Here’s a free legal tip: When hiring a lawyer, ask him or her if they support Donald Trump and if they think he’s still president. If the answer is yes to either, find another lawyer.

Mark Meadows will not identify the members of this cabinet. Here’s a fun fact, presidents don’t have secret cabinets. Cabinet members have to be confirmed by the United States Senate. It’s really hard to keep their identities concealed during confirmation hearings in the Senate. You don’t just pluck fuckers off a golf course and install them into a presidential cabinet. No. You do that with ambassadorships.

But Donald Trump is nuts. He probably believes he has a cabinet because he thinks he’s still president and will be reinstated on August 13. What I need to know now is, what date are they going to claim after August 13 passes and Trump is still just a whiny wedding crashing conspiracy-spreading lunatic on a golf course?

Mike Lindell, the MyPillow lunatic, believes Trump will be reinstated on August 13. There are members of Qanon who believe Trump is secretly controlling the military and they’ll overthrow the Biden presidency for him on August 13. These people don’t seem to understand they are opposing democracy. Donald Trump, in direct opposition to democracy, is trying to become a fascist dictator. We don’t install or reinstate presidents. Presidents in this country are elected.

Is Donald Trump forcing is secret golf club cabinet to sign documents stating the election was corrupt? That’s what he attempted to do with the Justice Department before the insurrection at the Capitol by his white nationalist terrorists.

On December 28, Jeffrey Clark, a Trump goon in the Justice Department and acting head of the Civil Division, addressed a letter to the governor of Georgia and state legislative leaders stating the department was “investigating various irregularities” in the presidential contest and that it had “identified significant concerns that may have impacted the outcome of the election.” It proposed that the Republican-controlled Georgia legislature call a special session, ignore the will of the voters, and send alternate electors to Congress on January 6 giving the state’s electoral college votes to Donald Trump. The Georgia state legislature didn’t do that but now they are changing the laws giving them the power to basically do just that.

The acting attorney general, Jeffrey Rosen, and acting deputy attorney general, Richard Donoghue, rejected the letter. Donoghue wrote, “It is not the Justice Department’s place to tell states how to overturn election results.” I don’t know if Georgia ever got the Trump goon’s letter, but they did get a phone call from Trump telling them to overturn the election.

Donald Trump called election officials in Georgia and told them to “find me the votes.” He was demanding they create votes out of thin air and overturn the election in his favor. He even threatened them with criminal charges if they didn’t comply. He told them, “All I want to do is this. I just want to find 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have because we won the state.”

On December 15, Trump called Rosen into the Oval Office to insist he file legal arguments claiming the election was stolen. Rosen refused.

This is where it gets good.

On December 27, Trump called Rosen at the Justice Department and told them they “may not be following the internet the way I do,” because they weren’t aware of all the conspiracy theories he had read and believed about the election being stolen. I mean, why couldn’t the Justice Department just take Sidney Powell’s word for it? Why couldn’t the Justice Department just release that invisible “kraken?” At the very least, can’t the acting attorney general spend a few hours every day scrolling through 4chan?

According to notes taken by Donoghue, Rosen told Trump he needed to “understand that the DOJ can’t + won’t snap its fingers + change the outcome of the election, doesn’t work that way.”

The notes record Trumps response as, “I don’t expect you to do that. just say that the election was corrupt + leave the rest to me and the R. Congressmen.”

Two days later, Trump sent Rosen and Donoghue a draft lawsuit he hoped would be filed with the Supreme Court. It was a duplicate of a lawsuit filed by the state of Texas the court had already declined to hear. That was the lawsuit where Republican Trump goons in Texas filed a lawsuit against another state’s election. Maybe that Texas attorney general is on Trump’s secret golf club cabinet.

Trump’s goon in the Justice Department, who had written the conspiracy letter encouraging Georgia to overthrow its election, continued to spread conspiracy theories in the department. Trump was loudly speculating about firing Rosen, who had just replaced William Barr as AG, and replacing him with Clark. On December 31, Rosen and Donoghue called Clark in and told him to cut the shit with the “stolen election” conspiracy theories. Keep in mind that in less than a month, none of these guys would still be in the Justice Department.

Donald Trump tired to steal the election. He tried to overturn it. He had enablers and goons in Congress, states, and the Justice Department helping him try to overturn the election. He initially refused to comply with the transition. He still has not conceded defeat. He tweeted for his supporters to gather in the capital on January 6 to stop the certification of the election saying it was “going to be wild.” On January 6, he held a rally in the capital telling his supporters to “march to the Capitol.” The intention was to stop the certification with a terrorist attack. After the attack, Republicans in Congress still voted to overturn the election. That would have been like Republicans destroying the Pentagon after al Qaida flew a plane into it.

That terrorist attack, the Republicans who voted to overturn the election, Republicans who voted against investigating the attack, and Republicans in states who tried to overturn the election are the reasons why it’s dangerous for people like Mark Meadows to make claims about Trump having a cabinet. It’s dangerous to enable Donald Trump in his claims he’s running a secret government. It’s dangerous because there are MAGAts who want August 13 to be just like January 6, except actually overturning the government this time. While they can’t succeed in overthrowing an election ten months after it happened, they can succeed in creating violence, weakening our democracy, and hurting a lot of people in the process.

Donald Trump can put all the idiots he wants on his pretend cabinet and keep playing fake president, but come August 13 and after, Joe Biden will still be the president of the United States of America.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Swarming Arizona


A lot of stupid crazy shit goes down in Arizona. People look at the fake audit by a fake security firm owned by Republicans and say, “Only in Arizona.” I don’t think that’s fair. Sure, crazy shit happens in Arizona that wouldn’t happen in most other places…but it’s not fair to say, “Only in Arizona.” It’s not fair to Florida.

Florida was doing crazy recount shit before it was cool. Florida is old-school crazy. Back in 2000, Florida upheld the national election and only stopped recounting when the Supreme Court told them too, which made George W. Bush president. Don’t you remember hanging chads?

Arizona and Florida have reputations for not being the best of us. In the excellent TV show, “The Good Place,” the very stupid character, Jason, is from Jacksonville. Jason has quotes like, “Yo, you should listen to me. I came up with hundreds of plans in my life and only one of them got me killed,” and, “I’m telling you, Molotov cocktails work. Anytime I had a problem and I threw a Molotov cocktail, boom! Right away, I had a different problem.” After delivering one of his stupid comments, Eleanor says, “Are you from Florida?” Eleanor is from Arizona. She’s the one who’s most ethically-challenged.

Some of Eleanor’s best quotes are, “Anything she left in your apartment now legally belongs to you,” “Why do bad things always happen to mediocre people who are lying about their identities?”, “How dare she steal the identity I stole?”, “I was a good person for six months. That’s like five years” and, “Ya’ basic.”

But, Arizona…compared to Florida, ya’ basic. Florida has “Florida Man.” Florida has Matt Gaetz. Roger Stone moved to Florida. Donald Trump moved to Florida. Sure, Arizona has Arizona State, but Florida has Jacksonville. It’s said that people move to Florida to die, but they have to lose their minds along the way.

One thing crazy stupid-ass fucknut states have in common is that they typically vote Republican. Crazy, stupid-ass fucknut states were all ripe and fertile territory to become Kool-Aid-drinking Trump cult breeding grounds. Look at Alabama, Mississippi, West Virginia, Arkansas, South Carolina, and Missouri. These states are the least educated and the most dependent on government assistance. But Arizona and Georgia are two states moving away from that.

Arizona and Georgia are two red states that flipped from Trump to President Biden. Florida is a state that went for President Clinton twice, President Obama twice, then Donald Trump twice. Florida regressed. It elected racist Ron DeSantis its governor and his approval ratings are at 55 percent. This is a guy who signed a bill making it legal to run over black protesters. That’s not legal in Arizona.

Arizona is going blue. It now has two Democratic senators in addition to voting for Biden. But Republicans are not going without a fight. They’re doing a fake audit of Maricopa County, the largest county in the state.

A judge gave the Republican Party the right to a recount, but where the people counting are only Republicans. Florida is impressed. The firm conducting the recount is operated by members of the Trump cult and it has ZERO experience conducting recounts or having any business with elections. Oh yeah…the firm, Cyber Ninjas, is from…wait for it…yeah, you guessed it. Florida!

There are all sorts of conspiracy theories with the ballots. China had flown in tens of thousands of ballots to Maricopa County via a South Korean airplane to swing the election for Biden. Since China got involved, they’re scanning them for traces of bamboo (no word on soy sauce). Donald Trump tweeted that the entire Maricopa County voter database was deleted, which was a lie that forced the Republican official leading the Maricopa County Recorder’s Office to speak out.

Here’s a fact: All eight cases brought in Arizona state and federal courts alleging widespread fraud, inaccuracies, or irregularities lost big time. So, why is there a recount? Exactly! Why is there a recount?

Why has the recount been given to Republicans? Why has the recount been given to a “security” firm run by Trumplicans with no election experience, and whose CEO claimed the election was hacked by the deceased Hugo Chavez? Why are they refusing to allow the press to watch the recount? How come we don’t even know who’s paying for the audit? Could Florida have pulled this off? Give them time.

Republicans claim there was election fraud and the count was fake…so they’re doing a fraudulent recount. What’s next? The fuckers doing the fake recount are going to declare Donald Trump won Maricopa County. Remember, the election was over six months ago and it’s been certified by the state and Congress. Joe Biden is literally in the White House.

One of the people doing the count said, “I think Donald Trump won the election—firm believer. I hope we come to a point where we’re happy with the results and truth is told.” She sounds totally non-partisan to me. Another auditor, who was at the Trump-initiated MAGA terrorist attack on the Capitol Complex, is also on these ballots. In Arizona, it’s illegal to count ballots that have your name on them.

We know with this recount, three people are counting each ballot as they spin on a Lazy Susan (that’s like a turntable. I had to look that up). If one person disagrees with the other two, that person is ignored and they go with the result from the two. They don’t reexamine the ballot that’s probably still spinning on a turntable. Remember, all these fuckers are Trump goons.

Republicans think Maricopa County is a domino. After it falls for Trump, so will Arizona, then Georgia, then Pennsylvania, Michigan, Wisconsin, and Nevada. You have to be on the same level of crazy as Marjorie Taylor Greene to believe any of this nonsense, but it’s where Arizona finds itself.

Brood X is coming, but the cicadas are not coming to you if you’re in Arizona or Florida. The cicadas are smarter than Trump voters. They don’t want to go anywhere near Florida Man or Arizona Man. Their asses may be falling off, but they don’t want any business with Arizona and Florida.

After reading today’s cartoon, my proofer Laura told me, “It’s getting harder to satirize these people.” It’s been that way for five years plus. And seriously, how do I top scanning for bamboo?

Cicada note: This Washington Post piece about the cicada’s short life cycle is informative and fun.

Creative note: I started drawing this Saturday morning, but stopped when I got my Matt Gaetz inflatable girlfriend idea. I forgot I had recorded what I drew Saturday, and because I wasn’t paying attention, it was included in the video for the Gaetz cartoon. I don’t think anyone noticed.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: