Classified Crocodiles

Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know. You’ll probably find alligators and not crocodiles at Mar-a-Lago, but there are some crocs in the most-southern part of Florida and they’re moving north. Hopefully, they’ll be hungry by the time they make it to Mar-a-Lago.

When Donald Trump and his legal team requested a Special Master to be a third party overseeing the documents seized by the FBI, he gave the Justice Department an opening to show the public even more evidence that Donald Trump broke the law. Donald Trump was so upset, that he “truthed” over 60 times in a span of 12 hours. That’s a LOT of bullshit.

Donald Trump stole classified government documents that belong in the National Archive. Trump returned a few boxes…and then a few more, and then his legal team said none was left, yet a lot more were discovered after the FBI was granted a search warrant by a federal court. Somebody did something bad.

In a stalling tactic, Trump demanded a third party to review the seized material and to be the judge of what is privileged between Trump and his lawyers. The response from DOJ showed that Donald Trump still had documents his lawyers claimed he didn’t have and that Trump was reckless with them.

The Department of Justice showed a photo of classified material on a floor next to a box of TIME Magazines with Trump on the cover. Trump, being a moron, “truthed” that this material was planted, but somehow taken from Trump’s storage and scattered about on the floor to make him look bad. He also claimed they can’t be classified if DOJ released a photo of them, even though we only see the covers marked “SCI” in the picture.

According to several people who visited Trump’s office in Trump Tower before he was president (sic), his office was always a mess with objects on the floor, like one of Mike Tyson’s championship belts (did he steal that?), and was the kind of scene a hoarder from Storage Wars would say, “Damn, that’s tacky.”

I don’t buy and collect publications when my cartoons are published in them. I used to but at some point, it became like hoarding and that’s gross.

Donald Trump’s response to the DOJ filing has been one conspiracy theory after another. One of them is that Joe Biden is trying to find details on Trump pulling the U.S. out of the Iran Nuclear Deal, which would be government material that the President of the United States (the real one) would have access to. The rest of his defenses have been quotes from people like Jon Voight.

Trump “truthed,” “Terrible the way the FBI, during the Raid on Mar-a-Lago, threw documents haphazardly all over the floor (Perhaps pretending it was me that did it!).” This is like clogging the toilet and later blaming someone else.

Trump’s lawyer’s response to this was that Trump merely possessed “his own presidential records” and DOJ took an “unprecedented, unnecessary and legally unsupported raid” on Mar-a-Lago, the Justice Department was “criminalizing a former president’s possession of personal and presidential records in a secure setting.”

That’s a lot of bullshit and shows just how shitty the quality of lawyers that are left for Trump to choose from. Word gets around he’s a client that never shuts up and doesn’t pay his legal fees.

Donald Trump has actually been sued by lawyers for not paying his legal bills, who had defended him in lawsuits for not paying his bills. You have to be a seriously stupid and shitty lawyer to take Donald Trump on as a client, which explains why one of his lawyers is a goon who used to work for One America News, the conspiracy “news” network.

The raid was not “legally unsupported.” It’s amazing they’re making this argument to a judge when the warrant they received was from…a judge (it may have been from the same judge). The judge knows how these things work.

These documents were not his “own presidential records.” Presidential records belong to the government, as in, they belong to us. The documents were NOT in a secured setting. A basement, and Trump’s desk, in a golf hotel is not a secure environment.

These documents were also never declassified. Never. Nothing has been exhibited that supports this evidence. If Trump had this, his lawyers would have produced it by now…but then again, they are morons. Have you seen Sidney Powell?

DOJ’s response also revealed that Trump and his legal team were working overtime to prevent the government from obtaining these classified documents. Donald Trump, with help from his lawyers, was obstructing justice. I hope Trump’s lawyers have lawyers who are better than they are. I hope you’re listening, Rudy.

Donald Trump has a history of being careless with classified information which doesn’t go well with a history of being a hoarder. Quite frankly, I think our most secret information would be safer with the crocodiles. I’ve never heard of a crocodile giving classified information to a Russian ambassador while inside the Oval Office.

Music note: Third day straight I listened to Elton John while drawn, but that guy produced decades of hits. Besides, I had to listen to “Crocodile Rock” at least once while coloring this.

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Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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Watch me draw:


Crocodile Bang-Bang


This cartoon first ran in The Costa Rica Star, January 21, 2019.

Costa Rica is working to soften its gun laws. They’re still going to be much stricter than the United States because nobody is as gun-happy as we are, but some people fear these changes.

I support your right to own a gun in the U.S. I also support gun control. I think it’s a simple fact to understand; the harder it is to get a gun then the harder it is to shoot somebody.

I also support the right to draw crocodiles.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Crocky Costa Rican Chompers


For last week’s cartoon for The Costa Rica Star, we decided to take a short break from politics and get a little goofy.

Did you know there’s tourism dentistry in Costa Rica? A lot of people from the U.S. will combine their vacation with getting some dental work and save a few bucks. It might be a good idea, but you will want to research and read reviews to check out the type of dentist you’ve made a schedule with.

Check out this week’s cartoon for The Star, which I’ll post here next Sunday (if I remember).

Watch me draw.

Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Vultures, Sharks, And Hyenas, Oh My!


Here’s last week’s cartoon for The Costa Rica Star. I meant to post it here Saturday but I was so overwhelmed with a huge full-page cartoon (you’ll see in November) that it totally skipped my mind. Sorry about that.

The rain in Costa Rica is forcing a higher number of crocodiles than usual to turn up on the nation’s Pacific beaches. A surfer is actually attempting to sue the government over the issue. It’s probably really hard to leash train a crocodile.

I’ve drawn a lot of crocs lately. I’ll try to cut that out. Even this time while not drawing crocs I was able to do a vulture, shark, and hyena. I really love drawing those.

There will be another cartoon for The Star this Friday.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Wild Wipeout


Here’s this week’s cartoon for The Costa Rica Star for their Living Pura Vida series.

The rainy season in Costa Rica is landing a few wandering crocodiles onto the nation’s Pacific beaches.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Living Pura Vida


Didn’t I tell you Claytoonz was going international? I’ve had my work published outside the U.S. before, many times, but now I’m going to draw two exclusive cartoons every month for The Costa Rica Star. They’re also carrying my syndicated cartoons that each of my newspaper clients receive.

The Star is in English and is an online only publication. It’s well read in and out of Costa Rica as it’s popular with expats (that’s a person living in a country where they are not a citizen).

The first thing we’re going to do is a series on Living Pura Vida. What’s “Pura Vida” you ask? I asked that too during a skype discussion with the CEO of the Star. Quoting from this article, Pura vida means pure life, but here it also means letting go, something very difficult for most of us. We’re so trained to ‘control’ our lives or ‘get control’ of ourselves that letting go often requires some form of bungee jumping, be it mental or physical.

The first article is a very good read and if you’re interested in anything Costa Rica, you should read it. For a less “politically-correct” version, read this article. This one is more in line with the cartoon.

It seems to me one of the things about Pura Vida is that you’ll always get an answer and that answer will rarely ever be true.

I was throwing ideas at the guys at the Star and one of them came back and told me about the Tarcoles Bridge where crocodiles hang out under. Check out this video from Animal Planet. Locals will sell meat out of trucks for tourists to feed the crocs. You’re probably thinking that doesn’t sound very smart and you’re correct. As dangerous as the crocs may be, you’re probably more in danger having your car robbed while you’re sight seeing the crocodiles. The crocs are actually a sort of industry around the bridge as there are several restaurants that wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for the crocs.

We’re going to do a series on Pura Vida though I’m not sure for how long. We’ll start hitting some local news issues as they develop. I’ll have to rely on my Costa Rica editors news judgement for those.

I’m looking forward to this relationship with the Star. They’re a growing company and they’re building a unique foothold, not just in Costa Rica, but Central America. Having original cartoons drawn by an United States cartoonist should be a pretty cool feature. I hope so.

On top of all that it can’t hurt building friendships in Costa Rica….you know, just in case Donald Trump actually wins the election and I need to flee the country before he imprisons me.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!