Crazy

Crazy or Crazy


Did you really think I was going to let the GOP response to President Biden’s State of the Union address slip past me? It may be a few days late, but here it is.

The Republican Party is so out of touch that it doesn’t realize it’s out of touch. As for myself, I know sometimes I’m out of touch. I attended the wedding of my niece Lyndsay last week and every time I opened my mouth, I could hear those new home buyers turning into their parents from those insurance commercials. Is the groom nervous? I couldn’t tell because he was running away too fast. HAHAHAHA no?

Republicans should have made huge gains in last year’s midterm elections but nominated wackjobs like Herschel Walker, Dr. Oz, and Kari Lake. Before the elections, they celebrated the Supreme Court’s reversal of Roe v Wade and pushed red states to ban abortions. Another major message from the party was hate as they used refugees as political pawns to “own the libs.” After gaining the House with a slight majority, Speaker Kevin McCarthy caved in to the goons like Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert and put them on some of the most important committees in Congress.

When placed in the same room with President Biden last week, Biden came off as the reasoned, rational, and mature one while the GOP came out like howler monkeys that ate a lot of paste while growing up under electrical wires.

Republicans gave us another huge example of how out of touch they are with their choice to give their response to President Biden’s State of the Union address. Claiming they were trying to appeal to American youth, they chose Sarah Huckabee Sanders. I know I make a lot of jokes here but that’s not one of them. They chose Sarah Huckabee Sanders to appeal to the youth vote. Seriously. You can Google this.

Appealing to the nation’s youth, Huckasans is not a great choice…unless you’re going for young hillbillies. But if they were looking for experience in lying, one of the former White House spokesgoons from the Trump administration isn’t a bad choice. Personally, I think they should have had Sean Spicer deliver it while wearing his puffy pirate shirt from his Dancing with the Star appearance.

Huckasans went from being a spokesperson to governor which would be a huge step up if the state weren’t Arkansas. The biggest feature of Sarah Huckabee Sanders is that she’s a liar and a defender of the worst behavior.

When Trump caged immigrant children, she said it was “very biblical.”

When Trump retweeted Islamophobic videos chock full of lies, she said it didn’t matter if the videos were “real” and told reporters that if they were focusing “on the nature of the video, you’re focusing on the wrong thing.”

How out of touch is Huckasans? Weeks after the Uvalde shooting that killed 19 children, she said, “We will make sure that when a kid is in the womb, they’re as safe as they are in a classroom.” There were 51 school shootings in 2022 that resulted in injuries or death.

After Trump fired FBI Director James Comey, she told the press that “countless” FBI agents told her they were happy with the firing. She later testified under oath that she made that up. She lied. She later claimed her lie, some bullshit she totally invented, was a mere “slip of the tongue.” She even lied about what a “slip of the tongue” is. A “slip of the tongue” is a mistake in speech, like saying the wrong name during sex. Slips of the tongue usually reveal more truths than lies.

She committed illegal ethical code violations by using her government Twitter account to slam a restaurant that refused to serve her and to attack The New York Times for running an anonymous Op-Ed from an insider within the Trump administration (sic).

She posted a video from InfoWars of CNN’s Jim Acosta that was doctored to make him seem physically aggressive toward a White House intern and used it to defend the Trump administration taking away Acosta’s White House press credentials. They couldn’t admit the real reason they took away his press credentials was that he asked tough questions.

She claims she’s a Christian and “God wanted Trump to be president.” God did send several plagues on us so that could be true. Why couldn’t we get frogs?

She claimed that Trump’s unfinished border wall had stopped nearly 4,000 known or suspected terrorists at the U.S.-Mexico border in 2018 when it only stopped six people who were on the no-fly list. Lots of people get placed on the no-fly list. You can get placed on it for trying to transport potato salad with raisins. OK, that might be terrorism.

She claimed the Mueller Report was “a total and complete exoneration” of Donald Trump even though it states inside the report that it “does NOT exonerate” him.

She played the victim when that restaurant denied her service because they don’t want to serve lying right-wing goosestepping goons who are destroying the nation. She also played it in another incident, After a reporter used the term “lopping of heads” while saying there should be a staff shakeup on the White House communication team, she cried, “They’ve said I should be choked, they said I should deserve a lifetime of harassment, but certainly never had somebody say that I should be decapitated.”

She’s out of touch from her own party. While a candidate for governor, she said she would outlaw all abortions in the state and wouldn’t allow any exceptions for rape or incest. A majority of Republicans disagree with this.

One of her first acts as governor was to ban the word “Latinx” from all state documents claiming it constitutes “ethnically insensitive and pejorative language.”

During her response to the State of the Union Tuesday night, she said, “Most Americans simply want to live their lives in freedom and peace, but we are under attack in a left-wing culture war we didn’t start and never wanted to fight. Every day, we are told that we must partake in their rituals, salute their flags, and worship their false idols, all while big government colludes with Big Tech to strip away the most American thing there is—your freedom of speech. That’s not normal. It’s crazy, and it’s wrong. She later added that the “dividing line in America is no longer between right and left, it’s between normal or crazy.”

So the party that gives us Huckasans, Lauren dumbest-person-in-Congress Boebert, Jim Gym Jordan, pathological liar George Santos, Ms. Frazzledrip Gazpacho Police Jewish Space Lasers Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Matt Giggity Gaetz is the normal choice?

Even some Republicans thought Huckasans was a lousy choice. White nationalist Steve Bannon, while talking to asshat Lou Dobbs, blasted her saying she’s not “intellectually capable of going to the heart of the matter.”

Bannon and Lou Dobbs were mostly upset she didn’t mention Donald Trump once in her speech. But an editorial in the Arkansas Times criticized her for “snarling about wokeness and the radical left.” Austin Bailey wrote, “It got pretty dark and weird” and described it as a “word salad of talking points and name-calling, with some attempts at folksy relatability thrown in.” He wrote, “Sanders’ rebuttal to Biden’s State of the Union address was light on policy, heavy on menace.”

Conservative commentator Amanda Carpenter contrasted Biden’s speech, saying focused on “the economy and concrete issues,” with Sanders’ speech, describing it as a “deep plunge into dystopian culture wars.”

Carpenter wrote for Bulwark, “These annual canned rebuttals usually come off as tone-deaf. but with Sanders, there was an additional, unexpected contrast with Biden. She spoke for a dreary 15 minutes — all scripted according to teleprompter, with no audience. Biden spoke for more than an hour, with a teleprompter in front of plenty of hostile Republicans. Biden, 80 years young, rolled with it, tackling every tough subject on his agenda, inviting Republicans to join him at every turn. Sanders, 40 years old, droned on, her entire speech devoted to demonizing Biden.”

Former GOP strategist Steve Schmidt said Sanders was “abusing” viewers with “MAGA lies.” Schmidt said, “It was stale. It was old. It was an ugly speech from a lying governor who is unfit for any type of public service.” I disagree and believe Sanders would do an amazing job at picking up dog poo in public parks.

Sanders did this culture war thing for the Republican response to the State of the Union thinking it would work nationally because it worked in Arkansas. But what’s the Republican Party’s reasoning for choosing her? Granted, their choices of rational people in their party are limited, but couldn’t they have found at least one person in the GOP who’s not a raving barking lying lunatic? One. We only need one for one night. No? No.

With these kinds of decisions from the GOP, I half expect George Santos to give the rebuttal next year.

Music note: I listened to Audioslave.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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General Coup-Coup


Cjones06052021

There are news reports that disgraced general and convicted douche canoe and traitor, Michael Flynn, suggested there should be a coup to restore Donald Trump to power. He did not “suggest” there should be a coup in the United States. He endorsed it and said, “It should happen here.”

Flynn was national security adviser for 22 days. President Obama told Donald Trump not to hire Flynn, so Donald Trump hired Flynn…who had lobbied for foreign nations and been paid by Vladimir Putin for appearances in Russia. Flynn was fired for lying to Mike Pence and later pled guilty to two counts of making false statements and agreed to cooperate…then flipped on his flip and cried to have his guilty plea reversed. Trump’s attorney general, William Barr, tried to get courts to drop what his department pushed for and ultimately, Donald Trump pardoned Flynn.

After the election, Flynn endorsed martial law, suspending the Constitution, and silencing the media to overturn the election. He also pledged an oath to Qanon. Now, he’s on the Russian app Telegram crying that he was misquoted about endorsing a coup. Why is he denying this stuff on Telegram? Because Twitter kicked him off their platform for shit like endorsing coups.

This is NOT the first time Flynn has suggested a coup. When he wanted Trump to overturn the election, that would have been a coup. This time, he was at a Qanon fucknut convention, when an audience member asked him, “I want to know why what happened in Myanmar can’t happen here.” There was a coup in Myanmar.

Flynn replied, “No reason. I mean, it should happen here. No reason.”

Now he’s saying that he said, “No reason it should happen here.” No, fucker. You said. “No reason.” Period. “It should happen here.” That’s like saying “don’t stop” while someone’s touching you in your special place, and later you claim you didn’t like it by saying, “I said, ‘don’t…stop.'”

Congressman and fully-committed Fruit Loop, Screwy Louie Gohmert, was also at the lunatic event and tried to downplay the January 6 insurrection. He defended it by saying the attack on Pearl Harbor and 9/11 were bigger attacks on our democracy. Even if he was correct, that’s not good company. But, those attacks weren’t trying to overturn our government. Take a history lesson, Louie.

One in four Republicans believe in the Qanon theory that Satanic-worshipping lovers of baby back ribs made with real babies are controlling the government and it’s going to take violence to restore the “rightful” leaders of our nation. An opinion poll taken in May says 53% (if in case you’re a Republican, that’s more than half) believe Donald Trump won the election.

Sidney Powell, whose lawyers are using the argument in court that nobody should take her seriously, says there will be a new inauguration, Biden will move out of the White House, and Donald Trump will move back in. Just be glad both men won’t be living in the White House together, which sounds like the premise for a really bad sitcom.

Finally, Donald Trump expects to be reinstated by August. That’s what he’s been telling friends, family, and any squirrels on his golf course who will listen, according to New York Times Washington correspondent, Maggie Haberman.

Donald Trump ordered an attack on our government to overturn the election to reinstall himself to power. Donald Trump weaponized the presidency against his own nation. Instead of apologizing, expressing regret, or even playing dumb, he’s telling friends he’s going to do it again.

While it’s fun to laugh at these goons, we should also be concerned.

Like it or not, Donald Trump is a former president (sic). He has created a cult and his followers obey him and believe anything he says. Proof of this is last January 6. And, the Republican Party is doing everything it can to embrace him. A majority of Republicans, not just racist Qanon maniacs, are willing to destroy democracy for their cult leader.

Republicans don’t love America anymore. It’s all about the cult.

General Flynn should be in prison. Right now, he may be committing new crimes that his previous pardon doesn’t cover. He swore an oath to defend this nation, not attack it with a coup. Donald Trump should be in a prison cell right beside him. It will be safer for this nation to have those two men locked away. They are national security risks.

Republicans would be better off listening to the Cocoa Puffs bird than listening to Trump and his assorted goons. They’re all cuckoo for treason.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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