Goodbye, Grifters


If you believe the Trumps will leave the White House without stealing some shit, then I got a bridge to sell you.

Here’s a spoiler, not a prediction: In the coming weeks, we’re going to see news articles about shit the Trumps took out of the White House they weren’t supposed to take. Wait for it. It’s happening. But, I’m no miracle savant with a magic glowing orb (similar to the one Trump was fondling with leaders in Saudi Arabia on his very first official presidential trip) that can see into the future. It’s easy to predict what Trump will do because he always does the wrong thing.

What I know about the future is, Donald Trump will continue to lie about election fraud. Donald Trump will tell us he’s still the president (sic). Donald Trump will attempt to bilk the government for every cent he can get. He will continue to raise money, put it into his PAC, then spend that money at Trump resorts. His kids will continue to be trust-fund goons. And Donald Trump will steal some shit. C’mon, this is a guy who stole from his own charity and even a child’s golf ball. Donald Trump steals shit. He’s a grifter. He’s a conman and though he will not be president (sic) after noon on January 20, thank God, he will always be America’s First Conman.

In the past, he’s refused to pay contractors for work done on his resorts and casinos. He’s fought them in court then after settling for much less than he originally agreed with the contractors, he’d stiff the lawyers who fought the case for him. Even now in his last remaining days, he’s refusing to pay Rudy Giuliani’s legal fees and not just because he was charging by the farts. And that’s his friend. Do you know how you can tell a lawyer sucks? It’s when he takes on Donald Trump as a client.

As Donald Trump continues to claim he won the election, he’s packing to leave the White House. The staff is packing and they’re already taking shit out. The White House press office is totally empty and right now, Kayleigh McEnany is fabricating her resume. And some funny stuff has been spotted leaving the White House.

Often when a president and his family leaves the White House, they take some stuff with them they shouldn’t. When the Clintons left, they took a bunch of stuff they weren’t supposed to. They ended up paying the government for some of it and returned others. Was this them being corrupt or being confused? It’s hard to say. On one hand, the rules can be confusing. On the other hand, they’re the Clintons.

Presidents can keep gifts they receive from American citizens. They do have to report the value of it just like private citizens do. But, if the gift was given to the White House, not the president, then the gift belongs to the federal government. That’s where presidents are often confused. Did you give me or the White House that Persian rug?

In 1880, Queen Victoria gave President Rutherford B. Hayes (and yet another who was a better president than Trump) a really cool gift. It was a desk carved out of timber from the British ship H.M.S Resolute. Today, that desk is in the White House and has been used by nearly every president since. Why didn’t Hayes take it when he left the White House? Because gifts from foreign leaders go to the National Archives.

And presidents get some cool stuff, like jewelry, furniture, swords, puppies, pandas, and crocodile insurance. What? Richard Nixon got pandas from China which went to the National Zoo in Washington. President Obama got crocodile insurance from Australia. Donald Trump never received crocodile insurance probably because nobody gives a rat’s ass if he gets eaten by crocodiles…though I’ve been told crocodiles do have better taste.

So the rules on gifts can be confusing. Was it a gift to you or the White House, was it foreign or domestic, is it alive and can it eat you? But one thing is clear, if it was in the White House before you got there, you can’t take it.

This week, chief-of-staff Mark Meadows’ wife was seen taking out a stuffed pheasant. Maybe that was a gift directly to Mark Meadows from an American taxpayer or maybe he brought it with him when he took the job because no office is complete without a stuffed dead bird. The Meadows claim it was brought with him when he took the job and I think that’s believable as it sounds like something disgusting and tacky that a MAGAt would think spiffs up the place. If you see a Trump walking out with a painting of dogs playing poker, yeah that’s probably theirs. I half expect to see Don Jr. walking out with a leg lamp from the Italian city of Fragile.

Also seen being carted off was a bust of Abraham Lincoln, who Donald Trump taught us was a Republican. This bust belongs to the federal government and when not in the White House, is stored with the White House Collection of which the White House chief usher and the curator have responsibility for managing and accounting for in every presidency. The incoming president and his spouse choose which items they want in the White House from the official collection. My question is: Why would the Lincoln bust ever leave?

The Andrew Jackson painting? Sure. Send that back to the Collection. But the Lincoln bust? Can’t you assume the next president would want that to remain? And if not, I guess he’d say something after he assumes office and you can remove it then. But that won’t happen because everyone would want the Lincoln bust. Duh!

But, just who is the White House chief usher, the main dude responsible for keeping track of this stuff? He is Timothy Harleth and the curator of the White House Historical Association reports to him. The curator is a career professional who has been on the job for 30 years. Harleth, the usher, is a former employee of the Trump Hotel. Fuck.

There’s going to be a LOT of missing shit.

During a trip to Paris, Donald Trump was supposed to visit the Aisne-Marne American Cemetery for fallen Marines, but changed his mind when he thought it was pronounced “Asinine.” So instead of visiting war dead, who he considers suckers and losers, he went to the ambassador’s residence and stole some shit.

At the residence, he found a portrait and bust he liked of Benjamin Franklin, so he took those back to the White. He also took some Greek figurines (naked women) which was a step-up from the usual figurines he collects from Happy Meals. As it turns out, the items were not authentic and were replicas. That’s normal for Donald Trump as he has a history of purchasing copies then claiming they’re the real deal, despite the fact the authentic paintings are in museums.

The stuff from Paris was exchanged for the real deals which were in the federal archiaves, but how much do you want to bet it all accidentally lands at Mar-a-Lago? How about the Lincoln bust? How about everything in the White House?

Donald Trump is a grifter. Grifters gotta grift. If the curator was really smart, she would have anticipated this back in 2016 after the election, and had everything in the White House replaced with replicas. And the cool thing is, Donald Trump wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. He probably thinks the Las Vegas Eiffel Tower is the real one.

As for all the furniture, let’s hope the Bidens get a new mattress and additionally, fumigate the entire place. Matter of fact, the usual sanitizing and cleaning of the White House between administrations is much more intense this time. They’re saying it’s because of covid. Sure. That’s why.

I just hope somebody took a real inventory. And don’t trust that hotel guy. Count after him.

Of course, even though the Trumps will leave with stuff they don’t own, there is a positive aspect. They’re leaving. And even though they’re going to take stuff that’s not theirs, you bet there will be Trumpy stuff that’ll remain with us forever.

It’s going to take a long time to scrub all the orange funk off. But just in case, while the Trumps are leaving, check their pockets.

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Self-Made Conman


Like he does about most things, Donald Trump has ALWAYS lied about his wealth. Hey, don’t take my word for it. Take his. During the presidential campaign, he claimed he was worth $10 billion, but on his financial disclosure form, he claimed he was worth $1.4 billion. The truth is probably somewhere in between those numbers, but whatever it is, Trump is lying.

He’s also lied about the way he gained his wealth. He’s always claimed he was a self-made billionaire, and only got a teeny, tiny, little pittance of a loan from his father, Fred Trump, of $1 million, you know, like most Americans get from their fathers. Journalists have known for a long time that’s not true, and he received much more. There are public records of it. But, Trump sycophants don’t listen to journalists.

Now, an investigative piece by The New York Times has revealed that Trump received the equivalent today of at least $413 million from his father’s real estate empire. There’s a serious problem with this, and not just with the lying. It appears that Donald Trump engaged in nefarious lawbreaking activities with Daddy Trump to acquire this wealth.

Trump’s parents transferred over one billion in wealth to him and his siblings, which could have produced a tax bill of at least $550 million under the 55 percent tax rate on gifts and inheritances that was in place at the time. Helped by a variety of tax dodges, the Trumps paid $52.2 million, or about 5 percent, tax returns show.

Trump’s lawyers are calling the report false and that any blame belongs to tax professionals. But, do you know that line at the end of your tax statement that you sign swearing against penalty of law that everything is true? Yeah, you still gotta sign that if a professional, or anyone else, does your taxes.

Whitehouse Spokesgoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders called the report false, while not being able to cite any specific detail to debunk. She said, “I’m not going to sit and go through every single line of a very boring 14,000-word story.” I’m going to guess she wouldn’t have been able to go through every line if it was only a 14-word story.

She said the only thing accurate about the story was that it showed how much faith Fred had in Donald as everything he touched turned to gold. Yeah, it showed that Fred had enough faith in Donald to make him a partner in crime. As for that line about everything he touched “turning to gold,” Fred bailed out one of Trump’s Atlantic City casinos by purchasing $3.5 million in casino chips without placing a bet. That’s an illegal loan under New Jersey gaming laws.

Fred created a company that was a purchasing agent for his buildings, from boilers to cleaning supplies. But, it didn’t actually do that. They simply marked up prices on items purchased by his employees, then flowed that money to the co-owners (Donald, his siblings, and a cousin), which became untaxed gifts, then used the purchasing company’s receipts to pad the rent of thousands of low-income tenants. That scheme alone made millions.

As for that “one million dollar loan” which Trump claims he had to pay back with interest, it was actually around $60.7 million which amounts to $140 million in today’s dollars, most of which Donald never paid back. How do you pay interest on loans that you never repay?

Donald needed to be bailed out by Fred often. In 1987, Fred bought a 7.5% stake in Trump Tower with $15 million, which he turned around and sold to Donald for…wait for it…$10,000. If that was simply a loan for Donald to never pay back, then he would have owed millions in taxes. But with this trick, they made it an unreported multimillion-dollar gift and an illegal tax write-off.

The Times documented 295 distinct streams of revenue Fred Trump created over five decades to channel wealth to his son. Fred helped Donald create and sell the myth of being a self-made billionaire. This great self-made businessman had to be bailed out by his father time and time again.

Fred also lowered the inheritance tax for his children by claiming the properties, including 25 apartment buildings, he was leaving them was worth only $41.4 million, which banks later valued a decade later at nearly $900 million.

The Times article doesn’t imply or suggest that Donald Trump committed fraud. It outright states it. That is huge for a news outlet. To make such a claim, the newspaper has to have heavy proof. This is The New York Times. The paper Trump calls “failing” is going to send him to court, and probably his sister, who is a federal judge, as she participated in these schemes as well. She’d been safe if she only committed perjury by lying about torture, receiving stolen documents, and the definition of boofing.

I believe if Trump sycophants discover that Trump isn’t as rich as he claims that they’ll drop their support. But, they won’t believe it. They don’t care that he’s a con man. They don’t care that he’s a fraud. They don’t care he’s in bed with Russian gangsters. They don’t care that he rips off contractors. They don’t even care that he steals from charities. So, they’re probably not going to care about this. Let’s hope law enforcement cares about it. Let’s hope the state of New York cares about it.

I used to believe Trump would never run for president because it would make people, journalists, and government officials start to look at his crimes. I was wrong. Apparently, Trump didn’t believe they would. He was wrong.

Donald Trump will be indicted one day. He’ll probably also be found guilty. It may not happen until after he leaves office. No matter how long it takes, I’m looking forward to that day.

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