Commemorative Coin

Commemorative Chicken


Apparently, Donald Trump woke up Tuesday morning to the same realization the rest of us wake with every day. That he could be an international embarrassment, become a laughingstock, and bring great shame and humiliation upon us. That, or he had a really bad bowel movement.

After initial excitement over the summit with North Korea’s Kim Jong Un, Trump is showing signs that he is having second thoughts. I’m as shocked as you are. Trump has thoughts?

This is exactly what happens when you engage in bar talk. What’s bar talk? It’s when you commit yourself to something that you regret the next day. Say you talk to a casual acquaintance in a bar and you say you’ll drive them to the airport. The next morning you wake up and think, “what have I done? I hope he knows it was just bar talk.” A lot of people have come to expect that anything they hear in a bar is B.S.

A few years ago, I invited a¬†sketchy person to a friend’s house for Thanksgiving. The next day I told him not to worry about it because she probably knew it was just bar talk. Unfortunately, she didn’t. In fact, she’s still at his house. Seriously.

Anyway, Trump engaged in bar talk without being in a bar. South Korea diplomats told Trump that Kim wanted to meet and Trump accepted without researching, consulting experts, or setting conditions. Trump was excited and started talking about being awarded a Nobel Peace Prize for making a date. They’re so excited they’ve issued a commemorative coin for the summit.

The White House Communications Agency issued a coin to celebrate the occasion, which may not happen. There’s also criticism and mockery of the coin beyond it being premature. It refers to Kim as “Supreme Leader,” a title the U.S. doesn’t usually use for the dictator. It also has both men in a sort of romantic face-to-face pose, like they should get a room. It’s also similar to the poster for that movie where John Travolta and Nicolas Cage trade faces. Others have pointed out that the depiction of Kim has given him multiple chins while giving Trump a rigid jawline, which he hasn’t had since never.

Since they went ahead and made a commemorative coin for something that may not happen, the White House should go ahead and make a coin commemorating Trump’s impeachment. You know. Just in case.

According to White House leakers, Trump is not prepared for the summit. The big test is coming up and Trump hasn’t studied. The briefing material has words and stuff. It’s hard. Trump will insist on North Korea giving up its nuclear program, but all he knows about nuclear is that it’s uranium. Thanks to National Security Adviser and mustache aficionado John Bolton, North Korea is now blustering.

Bolton said the Trump administration will seek a nuclear agreement similar to the one Libya agreed to, which eventually left Muammar Gaddafi dead. For reasons unknown, Kim Jong Un isn’t fond of that idea. There are also rumors that Kim is concerned there will be a coup while he’s in Singapore hobnobbing with Trump.

Trump also blamed China for Kim’s changing stance, without explaining how it was their fault other than saying Kim became weirder after visiting China for the second time. While North Korea is willing to end their nuclear testing, because they’ve destroyed all the places they can test, they’re not willing to give up their capability. Trump can thank Bolton for making Kim skittish. He can thank himself for pulling out of the Iran deal which tells North Korea and the rest of the world that Donald Trump doesn’t honor agreements.

Trump has every reason to be afraid of being embarrassed. It may be more than coming home without an agreement. What if Kim calls him a dotard to his face in front of the press? As we saw from his debate with Hillary Clinton, Trump isn’t quick on his feet, especially after being insulted. Will he respond to Kim with, “you’re the dotard. You’re the dotard?”

What happens if Kim doesn’t show up? It’s bad enough being stood up on a date after driving across town. But Trump is traveling halfway around the world and could be left standing in the rain with wilted flowers in his hands.

Trump wanted this meeting more than Kim and unfortunately, North Korea and the world knows. Now he’s trying to find a way to worm out, and he’s probably hoping Kim cancels first or gives him a great, or even a slightly decent reason to cancel.

It will be interesting to see how the sycophants defend Trump if he chickens out. These people used to say even talking to Iran was giving them legitimacy. Now, they say Trump deserves awards for meeting Kim, which is even more premature than the stupid double-chin coin.

Trump is used to receiving red carpets, sword dances, and French hugs when he meets with foreign leaders. He doesn’t know how Kim will treat him. Trump is unprepared, scared, and stupid.

Kim already has the upper hand, and we’ve all seen Trump’s.

Watch me draw.

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