College

Lottascamma U


cjones03162019

If you’re the cynical type who believes students have a much greater chance of attending elite universities, like Harvard, Yale, Stanford, USC, or UCLA if they’re rich, well connected and white, you’re right.

Sure. Studying hard, scoring well on your SATs, and avoiding the keggers is all well and good, but it also helps if your daddy donates $2.5 million to Harvard, like Jared Kushner’s daddy. That’s the legal way to bribe your kid into a school.

Another way is to pay up to six and seven figures for bogus SAT scores and athletic profiles and bribe standardized test administrators and college coaches. As it turns out, some parents bribed coaches of upper-class sports like crew, sailing and water polo, even staging photos of the applicants playing various sports they’ve never played before. Hell, most students don’t even know what crew is. I don’t.

Fifty people were charged Tuesday in a college admissions conspiracy to get rich kids into elite universities. Prosecutors say parents paid William “Rick” Singer to cheat the system.

Some of the people charged for the scheme included a tennis coach who made $950,000 promoting several students as potential tennis recruits for Georgetown, a USC parent who is a craft bourbon distillery, another USC parent who is a Silicon Valley investor who has worked with Bono and the founder of Netflix, an individual who test entrance exams for students, and actresses Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman.

Lori Loughlin played Aunt Becky on Full House, which I learned yesterday. I never watched Full House. I swear. She and her husband, designer Mossimo Giannulli were both charged. They allegedly paid $500,000 to have their 2 daughters designated as recruits for the crew team at USC…despite the fact they did not actually participate in crew. Prosecutors say Mossimo sent action photos of their daughters on rowing machines. That’s what crew is? Their daughter previously posted a video on YouTube where she said she didn’t really care about school and was most excited about partying and game days (probably not crew game days).

Felicity Huffman is an Oscar nominee who was on Desperate Housewives. Apparently, she was desperate to get her kid into UCLA. She’s married to William H. Macy, who was not charged. I know who he is.

Huffman once tweeted, “What are your best ‘hacks’ for the back-to-school season?” Loughlin had tweeted in the past, “My kids will love this fun fact! UberFacts: Research shows homework has no academic value and students are usually given too much.” Who needs to actually do homework when the parents pay someone to take their entrance exams for them?

Investigators uncovered about $25 million in bribes, which most of the kids didn’t know anything about. They actually thought they were that smart. Not sure if they understood they really weren’t doing that crew thing. Was Jared or the Trump kids on a crew team?

These are not victimless crimes. For each spot taken by a snotnosed, spoiled, entitled dumbass with millionaire parents, a student who actually worked and deserved it was denied. The system already works against students who are not privileged, especially minority students. A conspiracy of bribes that benefits trust fund babies makes it all more revolting.

Jared Kushner probably didn’t belong at Harvard any more than he belongs in the White House, where he was appointed by his father-in-law. The Huffman and Loughlin kids shouldn’t be in USC and instead should be attending Los Angeles City College.

As for the rest of them, does Trump University have a crew team?

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Kollege Is Shtoopid


cjones07152017

Shortly after the invasion of Iraq, Vice-President Dick Cheney was asked about opinion polls reflecting that a majority of Republicans believed Iraq was behind 9/11. Cheney said he could understand why people believe that, but he wouldn’t state that Iraq didn’t have any involvement with that terrorist attack. Why not? It’s because his agenda fed off of an ignorant base. Basically, stupid people.

Part of Russia’s meddling in our election to plant a dumbass in the White House required them to spread bogus stories all over the internet, which was shared like wildfire by trolls on social media. It helped that the audience they were targeting were Republicans because that meant the stories couldn’t be too stupid.

They spread bogus stories like the Pope and Denzel Washington had endorsed Trump, Hillary Clinton was a criminal suffering from serious health issues, there would be violence if Clinton won, election rigging, fake ballots in Clinton’s basement, and that Clinton was running a child-sex trafficking ring out the basement of a pizza shop that didn’t have a basement.

When it came to sharing the fake stories, Republicans were useful idiots. Some members of the Trump campaign even shared the fake stories, including Trump himself.

Today, a majority of Republicans believe millions voted illegally for Clinton and that Trump won the popular vote. They probably still believe Obama was born in Kenya. These are the people who put an idiotic, crooked narcissist in the White House.

Conservatives love to whine how the press has a liberal bias. I’m asked occasionally “why are you so liberal?”. My views are liberal because I base them on facts. The press has a bias for facts and the truth is biased toward liberalism. Climate change is real, Hillary won the popular vote, there were not millions of illegal votes cast, Trump did not have the biggest inauguration crowd ever, and Obama did not have Trump Tower wiretapped. Sorry, conservatives. Facts hurt.

Facts hurt so much that Republicans have to make shit up about their opponents like Obama was invading Texas, or that more Americans are uninsured since Obamacare was implemented. If you watch Fox News, read Breitbart, the Daily Wire, Daily Caller, or InfoWars, you will be fed a lot of lies. That’s because facts don’t work for a conservative audience.

A new Pew Research Center poll released Monday revealed that a majority of Republicans think that colleges have a negative impact on the country. Fifty-eight percent of Republicans now say that colleges “are having a negative effect on the way things are going in the country.” That kinda adds up since Democrats capture the majority of college educated voters.

Cost is not the biggest reason Republicans oppose free college education for everyone. If voters are educated, that’s bad for the GOP. The fact that Donald Trump is actually the freaking president of the United States of America is all the proof you need that this is true. Smart people didn’t put Trump in the White House.

My advice is: Read newspapers. Knowing things is good.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $50 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Sloppy Journalism


cjones04072015

I am always amused when conservatives criticize the media. They criticize it for being biased toward the left and being inaccurate. Meanwhile they’re all fans of Fox News, The Daily Caller, Breitbart, The Blaze, etc., and they share stories from these sources all over social media. It seems a conservative’s answer for biased media is more biased media. I’m also intrigued by conservatives in the media who complain about the liberal media, forgetting that they’re conservatives in the media. I’m especially puzzled when conservative journalists exhibit a lack of knowledge of how news organizations operate.

You can point out to right wingers that their sources are extremely flawed, much more so than the “Lame Stream Media.” It just goes over their heads. Conservatives only spot bad journalism from the main stream media, after it’s been pointed out to them. I have had conservatives scold me for citing a story from Media Matters, Politifact and Snopes then back up their argument with a link to the Daily Caller. Irony, hypocrisy, facts, and humor are not conservatives strong points. These are the same people who want to hear foreign policy advice from Dick Cheney.
Rolling Stone Magazine messed up (not the band. They mess up every night and people pay thousands of dollars to hear it). What the magazine did was commit errors you learn to avoid in journalism 101. You don’t take a source’s information on blind faith. You make phone calls and check sources. It is amazing they put so much time, detail, attention, coverage, and promotion into such a flawed story. The rest of the media wasn’t wrong on the story as they were reporting stories on a story.
The biggest tragedy in this isn’t as much a journalism tragedy as it is a human tragedy. Rape is still a serious issue among fraternities in America and now there’s more attention to a sloppy story. This does not mean we can now ignore the crisis on American college campuses. Not only will women be even more afraid to report rape, news outlets will be more hesitant to write about it.
A lot of journalists are amazed Rolling Stone’s reporter hasn’t been fired. I don’t think she should be fired. I think a punishment of sort should be dealt out but her career shouldn’t be sacrificed. She didn’t make anything up. She didn’t lie. Her source lied. Her greatest error was wanting to believe the story to the point that she didn’t check if the facts were true. That happens everyday in journalism and on national platforms.
How many times has Fox News given a platform to someone who was lying or aired heavily edited videos that present information as they want it digested? How many times has the still employed Bill O’Reilly made something up? Ever notice that Bill’s lie are always where he’s the hero of the situation?
I don’t even want to talk about how often those other partisan sites are wrong because that’s almost a daily thing.
I don’t just blame these “news” sources. I blame consumers. Fox News is number one among viewers by a wide margin. They’re not number one because they’re “fair and balanced”, accurate or the best source for information. They’re number one because most news viewers want to be told what they want to hear.
The best way to start to repair this (for TV news) is to fire everyone who’s a politician. Stop paying people to be on your network who are activists or politicians. That goes for MSNBC too. They need to fire Al Sharpton. Not because he’s a “race baiter” as conservatives say. They need to fire him because he’s a political activist and maybe because he’s also really bad as a news host. He’s not intelligent enough to deliver news, interview people and he shouts everything. While MSNBC is at it they should fire Ed Schultz. Not so much because he’s an activist but just because I don’t like that guy. Since I’m on the subject I’m going to point out to the ignorant that MSNBC is only the liberal network at night. Seriously. Go watch Morning Joe.
Rolling Stone has a history of great writing and breaking stories. They just stepped all over their reputation. They need to take extra steps to restore their integrity and trust among their readers. They need to give their writer the same opportunity, maybe with baby steps. Every news organization will make mistakes. It’s how they respond after the truth comes out that’s very important to whether we can continue to trust them. Do they give a correction and find the source of the errors or do they blame those that point out the errors and remain silent?
A lot of consumers don’t care, depending upon their source.
Accountability is demanded more from liberal and mainstream news outlets. Facts have a pesky way of being biased toward the left.

Party School?


cjones12072014

I drew this last Wednesday for The Free Lance-Star. On Friday Rolling Stone said there were discrepancies in the subject’s story on being raped at UVA and they have backed off the story and issued an apology to their readers.

That takes a lot of thunder out of this cartoon but I decided to show it anyway. Rape is still a serious problem on college campuses across the country including UVA.

I don’t think FLS ran the cartoon which is understandable.