Clowns

Send In The Clown


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Many believe the greatest threat to the United States is ISIS. Others say Climate Change. Recently you’ve probably read more about people freaking out about clowns. Scary clowns. Creepy clowns.

I don’t get this fad. I don’t think anyone does. I think a news organization needs to find a clown and interview him to find out what’s going on. The clown panic has reached a point that McDonald’s is keeping their mascot, Ronald McDonald, out of their publicity until this clown fear passes. I don’t think anyone’s going to miss Ronald. He spends way too much time with little kids.

If I’m confused about this then how confused can people outside the U.S. be when they hear we have a clown epidemic? Will ISIS start recruiting clowns? Will this embolden terrorists when they see it doesn’t take much to send us into a panic?

I wanted to take a break from the election for at least a minute, unless Mayor McCheese gets impeached for supporting creepy Ronald.

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Creepy Clowns


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There seems to be a new fad, probably temporary, of creepy clown sightings.

This “clown phenomenon” started in Greenville, South Carolina where some children reported a clown trying to entice them to follow him/her into the woods. Since then there have been reported sightings of clowns across the East Coast, mostly at college campuses. They tend to freak people out and police respond though half the time it’s not clear if a law is being broken of if there was even a clown at all.

It all sounds like an M. Night Shyamalan. Remember his movie “The Happening” where nothing actually happens? It reminds me of that since nothing is actually happening though clown attacks are more intriguing than that movie’s attack by plants. How in the hell did that guy convince a studio to finance a movie with the synopsis of shrubbery telling people to kill themselves? I’m sorry. I started ranting. Anyway….

There’s also been reports/rumors of calls being made to schools threatening an attack by clowns with guns. I’m not sure if that one’s true.

This may just be a thing where people are getting their rocks off by putting on a clown costume and scaring strangers. That’s kinda messed.

Every night as I cartoon I watch Frasier (another reason why the Mr. Clean song has been stuck in my head for a month). It’s part of my routine in addition to listening to music on YouTube (trying to get that Mr. Clean song out of my head). On one episode Frasier dresses as a clown to scare his father and ends up giving him a small heart attack. People are freaked out by clowns. If I run into a Mr. Clean clown I will crap a monkey.

I can appreciate a good prank, especially if you’re scaring friends and family. Who doesn’t enjoy making their father spit his teeth out? But it’s still kinda weird. And if you’re doing it to freak out strangers, especially children, then you’re just messed up. The amount of effort that goes into this sort of prank should indicate the perpetrators are psychotic.

Clowns are not cool, except for Heath Ledger in that Batman movie and they gave him an Oscar for that performance. You’re not Heath Ledger. You’re not going to win an Oscar. You’re going to win a butt-full of buck shot if you scare the wrong hillbilly.

The reports state this clown fad started in August. The report is wrong. It started over a year ago and if we’re not careful it’ll stick around for another four.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!