Chief of staff

Smelling Blood


cjones12242018

Fun fact; if Donald Trump was to send out a tweet condemning each investigation against him, he would have to tweet seventeen times. Another fun fact; he will.

There are currently seventeen investigations into Donald Trump that we know of. These don’t include current or upcoming congressional investigations or those against the criminals he’s appointed to his cabinet.

Five individuals committed the Watergate burglaries, but 69 people were eventually charged with 48 pleading or found guilty from the Nixon administration. And yet, no president has ever faced a legal assault like the one hitting Donald Trump.

There are not seventeen investigations against Trump because “angry Democrats” or the “deep state” are out to get him. There are seventeen investigations against him because he’s brought it upon himself. He’s a crooked individual, and he’s operated his businesses like shell games for his entire professional career of being a conman. Running for and becoming president has exposed those cons.

A lot of people already knew Trump was a crook before he ran for president. American banks stopped loaning to him years ago and a lot of lawyers and contractors refuse to work for him. Trump even talks like a crook, saying his former lawyer/fixer Michael Cohen is a “rat.” Calling someone a “rat” implies there was something to rat about.

His current lawyer and scary mouthpiece Rudy Giuliani have gone from arguing Trump is innocent to the laws he’s broken aren’t that big of a deal. When Rudy argues that nobody got killed, it makes me think we’re going to find a body. Some Republican Senators have accepted Trump is guilty of crimes though they won’t do anything about it. Utah’s Orrin Hatch even said, “I don’t care.” But how much longer will they remain not to care with seventeen investigations piling up evidence of criminal activity and many former friends and business associates flipping on him? Does anyone believe seventeen probes won’t reveal some crimes?

Keeping track of all those investigations can be difficult without a scorecard. Keeping track of all the firings and resignations from the administration is hard enough. Fortunately, Wired has published a guide to each investigation.

There’s the attack on our election by Russia and if Trump colluded or is obstructing justice. Wikileaks is being investigated and there are questions if Trump or his associates knew in advance of their leaks. Investigators are looking into whether Israel, Saudi Arabia, and United Arab Emirates helped the Trump campaign. Trump’s campaign chairman, Paul Manafort is going to prison. There’s the Trump Tower Moscow project. At least fourteen Trump campaign surrogates had contact with Russians. New York prosecutors are looking into his company’s financial shenanigans. There’s paying off women with hush money which were campaign finance violations. The Inauguration funding is missing over $40 million, and there are signs Trump profited, questions if foreigners made contributions, and there were several Russians in attendance at the event. Trump’s super PAC is being investigated. We have foreign lobbying. The NRA received money from Russia and some of that may have gone into the Trump campaign. The administration may have been making a deal with Turkey to hand over a U.S. resident they accuse of being a criminal. The New York Times exposed Trump for decades of unpaid taxes and other assorted financial schemes. His charity, the Trump Foundation coordinated with the campaign and was also a slush fund for The Donald. Finally, we have lawsuits over emoluments, where Trump is making money off the presidency.

These investigations aren’t just hitting Trump. Also, entwined are three of his kids, Don Jr., Eric, and Ivanka. Even Melania might have a finger in the Inauguration scheme.

Is it any wonder Trump had a hard time finding a Chief of Staff? You would need to hire a lawyer just to take the job as you’re sure to receive a subpoena at some point. Trump basically forced his Director of the Office of Management and Budget, Mick Mulvaney to take the job. Even then, he would only accept on the condition that he has “acting” as part of his title, as in, he doesn’t want to be there for the long haul. Who can blame him? The job could have you “acting” like you’re going to prison.

Prison is a place where you could land if you work for Donald Trump. Ask Michael Cohen and Paul Manafort.

There is blood in the water attracting sharks. The sharks are better than you. If you work for Trump, some of that blood will be yours.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

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A Smocking Boom-Boom


cjones12162018

Wanna learn something about me? Tough. You’re gonna hear it anyway.

Once, I was offered a job in a political campaign. Not just any position either, I was offered to be a campaign manager of a congressional campaign. You probably thought I didn’t have any skill or experience in that area. You were right.

It was 1994 and a Republican candidate offered me the position. This was the year the GOP with Newt Gingrich’s Contract with America was going to take the House. A Democrat had just retired from the district after serving 54 years, and this was in Mississippi. Everyone knew a Republican was going to take the seat.  So, I turned it down.

I knew the candidate who offered me the position was going to lose, but that’s not why I declined. Every political operative works on a losing campaign. I had several other reasons to turn it down.

I didn’t have any experience and had only been in the newspaper business for four years. I didn’t want to be the reason a campaign failed. Even though my editors were willing to grant me a leave of absence, I didn’t want to leave journalism and enter politics even though it was tempting to see how the other side lives. But, the biggest reason I turned it down was that the campaign was going to be a flaming disaster going over a cliff.

My first clue was that they offered me the job of campaign manager. What the hell was wrong with them? I draw cartoons. I don’t get people elected to Congress. I wasn’t even a Republican. The candidate had no realistic chance of winning in a six-person primary, and they thought they did. I didn’t want to work with people who were that delusional. Finally, they, as in the candidate and his wife, gave me a really creepy vibe. I didn’t want to work, less enough be stuck in a car for 24 hours a day, with creepy stupid people. Ew. So I thanked them for the opportunity and politely refused. They ended up coming in 6th in the primary and the winner of that seat is now a United States senator, who I ended up meeting during the campaign (but this was Mississippi. You meet everybody).

I bet that’s why Nick Ayers turned down Trump’s offer to be his Chief of Staff. Quite frankly, it’s like being offered the job of captain of the Titanic AFTER it hit the iceberg. Look what it’s done to John Kelly, a four-star General. It’s reduced his respect and credibility to the same level as Omarosa’s. If a four-star General can’t reel Trump in and exert some control over the West Wing, what chance does a 36-year-old political operative have?

The Chief of Staff position is prestigious. It puts you in the seat of power and makes you a big time player in the world of politics. When you’re done, you either turn that prestige into major bucks in the corporate world or the speaking circuit, or you build your own political career, like Rahm Emanuel and Dick Cheney. So, why would someone as young as Ayers turn it down?

Serving as Trump’s Chief of Staff probably wouldn’t parlay into a future of huge rewards. You would have to be a total sycophant, and nobody respects those. You could be blackballed from jobs and even chased out of restaurants. And with Trump, you would most likely have to spend thousands on legal bills and quite possibly be indicted yourself. Do you want to go to prison for Donald Trump?

On top of all that, you can’t trust Trump. After setting an agenda, you would find out later from Twitter that Trump has changed his mind. There would also be ridiculous tweets and statements you would have to defend with a straight face. Look what that’s done to the faces of Kellyanne and Sarah Huckabee. The next CoS will also serve while Congress is controlled by Democrats and conducting multiple investigations on Trump, and Robert Mueller will be bringing the hammer down. Good times are not ahead for the Trump administration.

Later, after you’re fired, Trump will tweet to the world that you’re lazy and stupid like he did to his former Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson. Trump demands loyalty while returning none.

Ayers isn’t the only one running from the job. Reportedly, OMB Director Mick Mulvaney and Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin are sending signals to the White House saying, “Please, god no. Not me.” Dirty Jobs Mike Rowe is currently in the Witness Protection Program avoiding a call from Trump.

Trump will find a Chief of Staff. There are reports former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is under consideration. If you thought he couldn’t sink any lower than eating what Trump tells him to eat and making cheeseburger runs, just wait. Dignity will not be on the menu.

I kinda feel bad for the next babysitter because this is a big baby, and he makes big boom-booms.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Generals And Handbags


cjones08082017

Occasionally I’ll make a sarcastic post on social media, and last week I wrote, “Ivanka Trump is excited to work “alongside” Kelly. I’m sure the GENERAL is excited to be working alongside a mediocre fashion designer.”

I also posted, “If anyone looked at me the way Mike Pence looks at Donald Trump, I’d get a restraining order.” Seriously, the guy has an expression of warm satisfaction as though he just made a boom-boom. But that’s an issue for another day.

My comment about Ivanka got a lot of responses, and it gave me this idea. I usually don’t make a post on social media that I’ll use later for a cartoon, but I thought of the cartoon after I mouthed off.

Maybe we are making too much out of Ivanka’s tweet about working “alongside” the general, but it illustrates just how absurd and ridiculous this administration conducts itself. The people Donald Trump has placed in his administration are ludicrous. The rapper Ludacris couldn’t create a more ludicrous staff than Trump.

During the campaign, I heard people say they would vote for Trump because they were pro-military. Trump often states how much he respects the military. Trump doesn’t respect anything, and his actions prove he doesn’t respect the office he holds. The man insulted a former P.O.W. and Gold Star parents. Placing his inexperienced daughter “alongside” a general is further disrespect. A highly-decorated and accomplished general supposedly shares the same status and access to the president as a fashion designer, or in Ivanka’s case, someone who pilfers designs from other designers and then has the products made by eight-year-old children in China.

President John F. Kennedy practiced nepotism when he made his brother the Attorney General, but at least in that case, you could believe Robert Kennedy could actually do the job. Other than Trump sycophants, who believes Ivanka Trump can shape or even understand policy? We can’t expect her influence to be positive as her silence after Trump’s sexist attack on Mika Brzezinski makes her complicit.

Her husband and Trump’s son-in-law is further nepotism you can’t have any faith in. The “kid” has a larger staff than the Secretary of State. Trump has placed him in charge of finding peace in the Middle East (because he’s Jewish), advising the president, reinventing government (The Office of American Innovation), being a “shadow” diplomat, solving the opioid epidemic, handling diplomacy with Mexico and China, “reimagining” Veteran Affairs, reforming the criminal justice system, and laying out the president’s clothes in the morning.

Our confidence that 36-year-old Jared can accomplish any of the above duties is undermined by his defense of meeting Russians which was, “I’m a novice to politics and I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.” How can the guy be expected to do any of those duties when he’s too busy rewriting his security clearance on a daily basis?

Even Don Jr. is in on the nepotism action, even though he’s supposed to be running the Trump Corporation and separated from what’s going on in the White House.

Everyone’s excited about General John Kelly taking over as Chief of Staff. He’s cleaning house a little by getting rid of Anthony Scaramucci and a few other people that the adults didn’t want on the National Security Council. According to reports, all briefs and information has to go through him before it reaches Trump (maybe no more breaking Breitbart news), he’s shutting the door to the Oval Office so “stragglers” won’t enter to put stupid ideas into the president’s head (though he’s capable of doing that on his own), he’s cutting off people in mid-sentence when they’re rambling, and more importantly, everyone has to go through him before meeting with the president, even Ivanka and Jared. I don’t buy that last one. Where will the General be at 8:37 PM when little princess goes up to see daddy? Can the General get Trump to stop watching Fox And Friends?

Kelly has brought structure and discipline to the Oval Office. Trump has never practiced structure, discipline, or sense in his professional or private life. He’s going to hate it and Kelly won’t last beyond six months. Besides, how much structure is he really bringing with the ilk of Steve Bannon, Stephen Miller, and Kellyanne Conway still hanging about?

You can’t shine a turd. Kelly would have more success in getting “presidential” out of a nutless monkey than he will from Donald Trump.

Creative notes: I was supposedly taking yesterday off, but I drew a cartoon in the morning. This cartoon is kind of a bonus cartoon, because I’m drawing another tonight. While I wanted to do this, I think there are a few more pressing issues I want to cover. I haven’t decided which one yet (so much fuckery).  I’m hoping between now and drawing tonight that I eat something and take a nap.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.