Budweiser

A Haunted Hounding

cjones02072017

Commercials have become a huge thing now for Super Bowls. Companies spend millions for airtime and many go over the top for creativity and humor. Others do not. During this year’s Super Bowl a few had small political messages in them. Budweiser aired a commercial that was pro Immigration (as their founder immigrated here) and now wacked-out-of-their-gourds conservatives are boycotting the company.

The company had another commercial which was non-political but kinda creepy. It featured the ghost of Spuds Mackenzie, their advertising icon from the late 1980s and early 1990s. Nobody wants to see a dead dog.

Back to this boycott thing: There’s a special irony and stupidity for any white person to be anti-immigrant. And why are you anti-immigrant and hating on refugees? Is there no compassion in your soul?

People are boycotting Starbucks because they plan to hire 10,000 refugees across 75 countries. Why hate on that? Now a much smaller coffee company called the Black Rifle Coffee Company pledges to hire 10,000 veterans. How is that supposed to hurt people who are in favor of helping refugees? Good for them for wanting to hire veterans. Bad for them making a publicity stunt on something they’ll never do. Meanwhile, Starbucks will hire 10,000 refugees and they’ve already initiated a program to hire veterans too.

The Tiny Penis Coffee Company will not be hiring 10,000 veterans. They don’t have stores. They’re based in Utah and they’re a mail-order company. They’re not going to be able to fit 10,000 veterans into their mail room. Another thing, their coffee beans are imported. What, did you think Utah was prime farm country for coffee beans? They’ll create 10,000 jobs for Colombians before they hire 10,000 veterans.

Trump’s ban on Muslims is failing. A federal judge in Washington State temporarily struck it down. Trump replied on Twitter by calling the judge a “so-called judge” and saying if anything bad happens then the judge should be blamed. Our so-called president needs to read his executive orders better and lay off the Twitter and Cable news.

Now 127 companies are opposing Trump’s travel ban. If you want to boycott businesses that are pro-refugees, and pro-law, then you’re gonna have to do without Adobe, HP, Pandora, Tesla, TripAdvisor, Apple, DocuSign, DropBox, eBay, Facebook, Google, GoPro, Indiegogo, Intel, Kickstarter, Levi, LinkedIn, Microsoft, Mozilla, Netflix, Netgear, Patreon, Paypal, Pinterest, Quora, Reddit, Shutterstock, Spotify, Squarespace, Uber, Yelp, Wikimedia, and finally, Twitter.

If you’re boycotting Budweiser for their pro-immigrant commercial (and not for their watery beer), but using Facebook and Twitter to express your outrage, then you’re a hypocrite. But then again, conservatives are always hypocrites.

If you’re really against immigrants and everything about them, then you need to boycott yourself.

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America The Beer

cjones05122016

Budweiser is renaming their flagship product “America.” It is to commemorate the summer, the Olympics, the elections, and all those drunk, patriotic idiots in bars who scream “Murica!”.

This means if you don’t drink that swill Budweiser sells then you hate America. If you’re a recovering alcoholic and you’ve stayed off the wagon (or is it on?), then you hate America. Get drunk, you traitor. You don’t see ISIS drinking “America.” If you’re one of those beer snobs that demands a pumpkin flavored beer, then you’re just a snooty idiot with a stick up your butt no matter what year or season it is. The only flavor in beer should be beer. Like coffee. There should only be coffee flavored coffee. And what’s up with people who put ketchup on hot dogs? Sorry, I’m getting upset and off track here. Ketchup on hot dogs…the nerve.

The brewery didn’t just change the name to “America” using the Budweiser font. They also included new text citing the Pledge of Allegiance, the Star Spangled Banner, and America the Beautiful.

“King of Beers” has been changed to “E Pluribus Unum,” “The World Renowned” changed to “Land of the Free,” and “Anheuser-Busch, Inc.” updated to read “Liberty & Justice For All.” Even legalese like “Trademark” was changed to “Indivisible,” and “Registered” changed to “Since 1776” (though Budweiser wouldn’t be available for another 100 years).

I probably shouldn’t be so cynical. Maybe it’s not just a promotional campaign to sell more beers from the corporation that’s given us the Clydesdale horses and the talking frogs. Maybe they really do feel patriotism and love for all that’s America. I wonder if the decision came down from their corporate HQ in Belgium.

Did you know that in most of Europe Budweiser can’t use the name “Budweiser?” There’s another Budweiser from Germany and it probably taste like actual beer.

I was hesitant in drawing this cartoon. It felt kinda weird to do something that might appeal to both sides of the aisle. I’ve heard some people describe the Trump phenomenon as America being drunk. There’s a lot of Democrats who aren’t particularly excited about Hillary Clinton and we’ve seen how the GOP is reacting to Trump, though he has received more primary votes than any Republican ever. At this point only 15 congressmen have come out and endorsed the Orange One.

I made one tiny mistake at the bottom of the can. I wrote “and” instead of “for” in the “liberty and justice for all” part. I noticed it right as I was finishing the coloring. It doesn’t bother me enough to change you probably wouldn’t have noticed anyway.

As for making America great again. I’m all for that, if we’re talking about the beer.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!