Brooklyn

No Sleep ‘Til Gun Control


I love trains. I don’t have a love affair with them the way President Joe Biden does, who commuted on Amtrak daily when he was a Senator from Delaware, but I really like trains.

It’s easier to travel on a train than on a plane, and so much better than a bus. Airports are huge hassles while to get on a train, you just show the ticket guy your ticket. Actually, you get on the train first and then you show him your ticket. It’s so easy when I have a trip to Washington, DC as I don’t have to screw with traffic or parking. It’s the same with going to New York City. And the greatest thing about going to those cities on a train is that after you arrive, you get on another train to your destination. If you work it right, you leave your house, get on a train, and you’re dropped off a few blocks from your hotel (unless your hotel is in Georgetown). It’s easy.

Amtrak has moments where it’s a pain, like the time the air conditioning went out during summer on a trip home from North Carolina while I was trying to meet my CNN deadline in the cafe car, but it’s still a great way to travel. The trains I really love are subways. I still have NYC and DC train cards with a few bucks on them. I want to live in a city with a huge train system, but I can’t afford it.

Subways get a bad rap. A lot of people have told me they’ll never get on the New York subway because it’s not safe. I’ve had people in New York City tell me to never take the subway. I was at an Irish bar in midtown Manhattan and two brothers I was in a conversation with told me that whatever I do, to “never take the subway.” They were way too late with their advice. I’ve taken the New York subway all over Manhattan, through the Bronx, and into Brooklyn. I haven’t gone through Queens yet, but I will when I go see the Mets. But I’ve taken the subway through the Bronx at night and wasn’t afraid (there’s a train system on Staten Island but it’s not connected to the other four boroughs). And yeah, you see freaks talking very loudly to themselves and there are smelly people, but you also see women alone with their babies. I’ve seen groups of kids without adults on the Washington Metro. The Metro is pretty safe, and despite the recent increase in violence, the New York subway system is usually safe. My biggest hassle with subways is that they can be confusing.

Washington’s train system can be confusing but it’s a lot easier to figure out. The Metro has six lines, 91 stations, and 117 miles of routes. New York City’s subway has 36 lines, 472 stations, and 850 miles of track. You can get lost. I had a conversation with a different guy in that same Irish bar who was NYC born and raised, and he told me he got confused with the train system. But, there are now apps for that kind of stuff. I would look on my phone while in my hotel room to see when the next train was arriving at the station around the corner.

I used to get confused with the Metro until I traveled on the Subway. I don’t have any more problems understanding Washington’s Metro.

To me, it doesn’t make sense not to take the trains if you’re in a city that has them. Do I feel safe in the stations? I’ve drawn cartoons in NYC’s underground stations.

You may need to make adjustments as circumstances change, like during the COVID pandemic, but I refuse to allow lunatics to dictate how I live my life. I refuse to live in fear. I still rode in cars after being in car accidents, I still flew in planes after 9/11, and I’ll still ride in trains despite the shooting yesterday in Brooklyn.

A friend I grew up with will never go to Washington or New York City because he refuses to go anywhere without his guns. To me, that kind of fear is worse than living with the very small chance you’re going to be attacked on a train.

Giving everyone a gun is the NRA solution to gun violence. Didn’t a mass shooting on a military base disprove that solution? And in the few instances when a “good guy with a gun” showed up to a mass shooting, the good guy doesn’t actually save any lives. The “good guy with a gun” in Sutherland, Texas in 2017 showed up AFTER the shooter had already killed 26 people when the good guy started chasing him. The shooter was done shooting. And the good guy went on a car chase after the shooter instead of tending to the wounded bleeding to death. Arriving at the scene of a mass shooting is the sick fantasy of every gun fetishist. I think the main reason for them to carry a gun isn’t for their own personal safety, but more for the day when they get to shoot somebody.

Also, how can police tell the difference between the good guy with a gun and the bad guy?

There’s a better solution than the yee-haw cure and that is….let’s get rid of guns. It’ll be hard to shoot someone with a gun if there are no guns.

We don’t have to get rid of all guns but let’s get rid of the guns that make it easier to shoot a high number of people in a short period of time. The Second Amendment gives you the right to bear arms, but it doesn’t state you have the right to own machine guns, which is basically what these assault rifles are. If nothing else, let’s put more control, requirements, and regulations into owning these weapons that are made strictly for the purpose of killing human beings.

“Gun control” is like the word “liberal” for conservatives. No pun intended, but it’s a trigger word meaning bad, much in the same way conservatives now use “groomer,” “woke,” “cancel culture,” “book,” and “personal hygiene.”

While there are people in this nation afraid of getting on a train or traveling to a large city, there are people in other nations afraid to come to our nation because of our sick fetish for guns.

Gun fetishists are afraid gun control will disrupt their entitled white-privileged gun-humping lifestyle. But their guns are disrupting people’s lives while they’re just trying to get to work.

The gun fetishists, the so-called “constitutionalists,” want us to live in fear. They want us to be afraid of getting on a train or going to a donut shop. But like I said before, I refuse to allow lunatics to dictate how I live my life.

Music note: I listened to Pearl Jam while drawing this cartoon. And I bet you thought it would be the Beastie Boys.

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Let’s Make A Trump Deal


cjones08252019

Donald Trump’s probably thinking, “I don’t care how green it is, I’m driving my golf cart on it.”

After hearing that Donald Trump wants to purchase Greenland, an autonomous nation owned by Denmark (in case you’re a Republican, “autonomous” means they govern themselves), I have several questions for him.

Can he find Greenland on a map? Greenland is close to the Arctic Circle, does he know the difference between the Arctic and Antarctica? Does he know there aren’t any penguins in the North Pole or does he think it’s like a commercial where polar bears and penguins are sharing bottles of Coca-Cola? Does he know Denmark owns Greenland? Does he know Greenland actually isn’t green? Does he know it’s an island “surrounded by water” (because Puerto Rico’s location totally surprised him)? What does he plan to use as currency to make the purchase because the oil reserves alone are estimated at three trillion dollars, and he’s already tacking two trillion to our debt? Does he plan to finance it through Deutsche Bank with Russian help? If he becomes Greenland’s landlord, will he raise the rent to keep out black people? Will he rename it “Trumpland” or better yet, “Orangeland?” Does he know Greenland has a national healthcare plan? If he purchases the largest island in the world (he probably doesn’t know that either), will he acknowledge climate change is real and not just a hoax created by China?

There are reports that White House aides are confused over Trump’s interest in Greenland. They don’t know if he’s joking or being an idiot because he’s not funny and he’s always an idiot. But apparently, he has the White House counsel looking into it between their current activities in helping him obstruct justice and committing high crimes and misdemeanors.

Trump will be visiting Denmark next month as soon as he figures out the difference between Danish and Dutch. Some in the media are wondering if he’ll bring up the topic of purchasing Greenland from them, that is if he actually knows they own it.

There are two other troubling issues with Trump wanting to buy Greenland. It insults our allies and the citizens of Greenland (Ha, those silly Americans….what? We’re going to become Americans? NOOOOOOOOOOO!). Also, it’s another example to our friends and foes that Trump can’t be taken seriously.

I have a suggestion. Why don’t we take care of the current islands we own before we acquire more? Let’s take care of the citizens of Puerto Rico before we get another island with citizens to crap on. Or better yet, instead of increasing the size of the United States, let’s unload some shit.

Do we really need the Dakotas? I mean, can’t we just squish Mount Rushmore down into Nebraska and trick, I mean convince, Canada to buy North and South Dakota? Maybe the Canadians will let the Native Americans there finally vote. Then there’s Arkansas. You look at it and you ask, “why?” As for Indiana, I can’t think of a good reason for it. Getting rid of Ohio might be worth it not to have to deal with Jim Jordan anymore. And, maybe we don’t get rid of the entire state of Iowa but just the congressional district Steve King keeps winning. South Carolina is a beautiful state, but maybe we can add an ejection seat to it and get Lindsey Graham to sit in it. Florida is a hard sell (we’d have to hide Matt Gaetz and Rick Scott during the open house) and I doubt Denmark would buy it off us, but maybe the Netherlands. They get high a lot. For them, it’d be like the morning after a binger and discovering what you purchased on Amazon.

Or even better, we just get rid of Donald Trump and stop having to deal with any of this shit. I’m sure I can speak for everyone when I say we’ll be willing to pay for someone to take him off our hands. Maybe a beautiful penthouse in a Pyongyang Trump Tower? I hear the winters are lovely.

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Black Tape


cjones12222014

On Saturday a deranged lunatic killed two New York City police officers while they were sitting in their car in Brooklyn. Earlier in the day the same psychopath shot his girlfriend in Baltimore. After shooting the policemen he killed himself.

Now on the news and social media I see a lot of right wing rhetoric blaming the protestors, President Obama, Attorney General Eric Holder, NYC Mayor De Blasio, Al Sharpton and others for inciting this crime. NYC police officers turned their backs on the mayor at a news conference. The president of their union said the mayor and others had blood on their hands.

That’s just more lunacy.

This shooter incited himself. He did not need protesters voicing opposition to a very real problem on police abuses to incite him.

I do not think the police actions have earned them to be assassinated. But while right wing rhetoric say protesters have figurative blood on their hands, many police officers have literal blood on their hands. They’ve killed many black men and even children and a system is in place where they investigate themselves with very little consequence except for public outrage.

The police put themselves on a higher pedestal than those they police. Look at the police reaction in Brooklyn on Saturday. They closed down blocks, sent out officers in military, swat and riot gear, closed down subway stops, and had a helicopter circling above the neighborhood. Is that how they react when an officer kills a man suspected of selling loose cigarettes?

These same people who blame the protesters rushed to defend Sarah Palin of inciting the shooting of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. Palin had posted cross hairs on Giffords Congressional district. Go figure. Of course Giffords wasn’t out abusing her authority to encourage being shot. Palin also stated “don’t retreat…reload.” Imagine the outrage if Sharpton had said such an inciting statement.

Cops don’t deserve to be shot down or assaulted in any way. They do deserve our respect and thanks for doing a dangerous job from which they may not come home from after each shift. They also deserve scrutiny and accountability. Saying as such and even being angry at them does not make anyone liable for the actions of lunatics.

If this man was incited to shoot cops then who or what incited him to shoot his girlfriend?