Bribes For Pardons


This just in: Donald Trump is corrupt. Oh wait. We already knew that.

Details remain sketchy, but last night, reports came out that federal prosecutors have been pursuing an investigation into potential bribery in connection with an effort to secure a pardon from Donald Trump.

Last August, Chief U.S. District Court Judge Beryl Howell issued an opinion in a form that redacted the name of the person seeking a pardon…and offering to make a contribution to Donald Trump’s presidential campaign…where a lot of the funds wind up in Donald Trump’s pocket. The judge granted prosecutors permission to examine emails from lawyers seeking the pardon for whoever their client may be.

How does that work with this Justice Department? Attorney General William Barr, despite being unable to find any evidence of voter fraud, is basically Donald Trump’s henchman, poodle, and personal lawyer. The guy had the department act as Trump’s personal lawyer in a case where Donald Trump is being sued over slandering one of his rape accusers. The accuser is not suing the president. She’s suing Donald Trump. Yet, Barr found it necessary for the Justice Department and taxpayers to foot the bill for his legal defense. In all the other personal legal defenses since he became president (sic), Donald Trump has used campaign funds…which of course you can pay into to receive a pardon…reportedly. Maybe the person being investigated for trying to bribe for a pardon can receive a pardon for trying to bribe for a pardon.

Do you remember the entire “pay for play” scandal the Republican Party concocted about the Clinton Foundation? They claimed foreign nations were making donations to the charity in exchange for special favors from the State Department while Hillary Clinton was Secretary of State. They claimed Clinton sold American uranium to Russia in exchange for donations. Before Trump became president (sic), the FBI looked into it and couldn’t find anything. After Trump became president (sic), the Justice Department officially opened an investigation into the Clinton Foundation. That began in 2017. Have you heard what has become of that investigation? Me neither.

So how does it work when the Justice Department investigates Trump corruption? Do they not tell William Barr? Do investigators go through all the proper channels and hope William Barr pays as much attention as Donald Trump does to security briefings that doesn’t mention his name? We do know investigators didn’t want any of this made public, especially the names of those involved. That makes sense because after Barr finds out, he may shut it down while he’s walking out the door to his retirement.

We do know the investigation rose from a separate investigation into people lobbying for pardons and whether they were violating the law by not registering as lobbyists. We also know that over 50 devices such as phones, laptops, and iPads have been confiscated in this investigation.

We also know this is all true and Donald Trump is a guilty party because he issued a tweet calling it “fake news.” Nearly everything Donald Trump says is a lie. EVERY denial he’s ever issued has been a lie.

But you do remember how Republicans acted over the Clinton Foundation. They were aghast and all lit up over the “pay for play” of it all. They chanted “lock her up” at MAGA rallies. They still do that chant between chants of “Space Force” and “send them back.” Lately, they’ve been falsely accusing Joe Biden of running a corrupt charity. Republicans are horny for investigating charities…except for Trump’s charity.

Here’s another thing: Even if Donald Trump and his administration are totally innocent and said, “No, sir…we do not do anything shady, improper, inappropriate, or illegal. You take your bribe and shove it where the sun never shines, you scoundrel you” (that did not happen), someone still thought with Donald Trump, it was a possibility. Someone thought Donald Trump’s ethics were low enough to take a bribe. Someone thought Donald Trump is corrupt. Do you know why anyone would think that? Because Donald Trump is corrupt.

Donald Trump is legally prohibited from being involved in a charity. Why? Because he stole from his charity…literally. You can assume Hillary did something bad with her foundation. We know Trump did. Donald Trump used his charity in tandem with his presidential campaign which is illegal. He used his charity to pay off legal fines for his shitty golf resorts. He used his charity to purchase expensive ticket items for himself, like portraits of himself (but he’s never purchased one of my caricatures of him. I wonder why). And when Florida Republican Attorney General Pam Bondi was considering investigating the actions of Trump University (another corrupt endeavor that doesn’t exist anymore) in her state, she shut down the inquiry AFTER receiving a campaign donation from…wait for it…the Trump Foundation. Donald Trump used his fake charity to bribe an official to save his fake university. Do you know who put money into Donald Trump’s fake charity? NOT Donald Trump. Today, Pam Bondi is still a pro-Trump surrogate and cult member.

Donald Trump literally used his charity to make a political contribution to bribe an elected official. Is it beyond him, an elected official, to take bribes for pardons? Hell no. He’s Donald Trump. Being corrupt is what he does.

It seems we’re founding out about more Trump fuckery on a daily basis. I worry about what’s being shredded and burned in the White House before Donald Trump is frog marched out. How many transcripts is he burning? What documents are being destroyed? And did anyone count the silverware? We still haven’t found out what happened to all the money that went into his inauguration…which by the way, was four fucking years ago. Republicans don’t ask about any of this…maybe because they’re too busy draining the swamp.

And now, it’s come out that Trump has had conversations with Rudy Giuliani and others about preemptive pardons for Rudy, his three oldest and corrupt kids, and his own corrupt ass. This should be fun. By the way, the family that goes to prison together stays together.

Yes, we are finding out more and more dirt about Trump corruption on a daily basis. Can you imagine what we’ll find out in the coming months and years? Hell, we’re still discovering shit about the Nixon administration that makes us say, “DAMN.” I just hope I found out everything about these Trump assholes before I die.

Trump is also talking about running again in 2024. And guess what. You can run for president from prison.

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Hush Fund


There has been speculation that Special Counsel Robert Mueller may be considering federal bribery charges against Donald Trump for offering pardons for silence. Former Trump attorney John Dowd allegedly told lawyers representing Paul J. Manafort and Michael Flynn last year that Trump would consider pardons if the two men got into legal trouble. Flynn is cooperating with Mueller, but a jury is currently deliberating over sending Manafort to prison for the rest of his life, yet he still is not cooperating with the Special Counsel’s office. Manafort’s lack of cooperation isn’t based on a strong sense of ethics.

Now Robert Mueller may be interested in other ways Trump pays to silence people. Omarosa Manigault Newman, former Apprentice star and White House aide (whoever thought that’d be in a sentence?) claims she was offered $15,000 a month to keep quiet about her time in the White House (That!…I totally expected to see in a sentence) and that she had to sign a nondisclosure agreement.

The White House called her claims lies, yet she produced hard evidence in the form of a taped recording of Lara Trump (If Don Jr. and Eric are Dumb and Dumber, she’s married to Dumber. Dumb is getting a divorce) offering her a job in the Trump Campaign paying $15,000 a month. Naturally, she’d have to be silent, yet she could live anywhere she wants and wouldn’t have to do much if any work at all. Basically, just work on keeping her mouth shut.

Omarosa’s claim is also supported by the fact there are several former White House staffers making that same amount, or near to it, working for the Trump Campaign. $15,000 is a magic number.

ABC News checked out financial election filings and reported what Trump sycophants will probably call “fake news,” facts that support Omarosa’s claims.

Some have been paid by the Trump Campaign, while others were paid by the Republican National Committee and America First PAC, a political action committee dedicated to Trump’s re-election.

Monthly payments have been made to the former director of Oval Office operations Keith Schiller, former personal assistant to the president John McEntee, former digital media director of the Trump campaign Brad Parscale, and former director of advertising for the Trump campaign Gary Coby.

McEntee was fired after issues with his security clearance (surprise) and was hired by the Trump Campaign within hours of being escorted out of the White House (Probably escorted out like Jazz was escorted out of the mansion by Uncle Phil in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, which is how I’m hoping Trump is eventually escorted out).

Former White House Spokesgoon Sean Spicer called Omarosa’s claims a lie since she said he had signed a nondisclosure agreement. Spicer claims he never signed one and is not being paid by the Trump Campaign. It’s kind of surprising that it wasn’t pressure, obligation, or payment to encouraged him to write, “a unicorn riding a unicorn jumping over a rainbow” in describing Donald Trump (If Trump was to resemble a fictional beast, it wouldn’t be a unicorn. It’d be a wookalar. Look that up). Apparently, he did that self-disembowelment pro bono. Spicer now runs a communications firm, which begs to ask, who’d be dumb enough to hire a guy for communications who communicated the unicorn/unicorn/rainbow line? Probably anyone dumb enough to donate to the Trump Campaign.

It does take a special kind of stupid to give money to a guy who steals from charities and an extra layer of duh to continue giving it to a campaign that uses it to shut people up. If you’re contributing to the Trump Campaign, your money is being used to bribe in addition to other Trump expenditures (like porn stars and playmates to keep quiet).

Donald Trump is a con man and a grifter. He’s not making America great again, but when this is all said and done, you can keep the crappy cap.

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Watch me draw Episode 200!!!