Brexit

Toadies Over Tories


cjones09132019

Imagine if Lindsey Graham called Donald Trump a “race-baiting, xenophobic bigot,” but today, not back in 2015. Imagine if Devin Nunes demanded a fair investigation into Russian meddling in our election instead of running to the White House under the cover of darkness to align talking points. Imagine if Jim Jordan and Matt Gaetz demanded accountability from Donald Trump and didn’t just sit on committees shouting down those who did. Imagine if Ted Cruz had a backbone and could remember Donald Trump accused his father of murder and insulted his wife’s looks. Imagine any of the Trump kids being anything other than mindless remoras.

Like Donald Trump, Boris Johnson did not become the leader of his nation with a mandate. Instead, both men assumed power with the support of a minority of their citizens. Most people, not just in the United States and the United Kingdom, but worldwide, detest both men. Johnson became prime minister after his predecessor, Theresa May, failed to get a Brexit deal through Parliament. Johnson promised a Brexit deal and called his critics “doubters, doomsters, and gloomsters.” Now it turns out, those “doubters, doomsters, and gloomsters” aren’t just in the opposition or even in his own party, but also in his own family.

Britain didn’t think there could be a worse prime minister than Theresa May. Just as we were in our opinions about George W. Bush, they were wrong.

Johnson lost every one of his first votes in Parliament. He expelled 21 members from his party for voting against him, thus removing his majority. The biggest humiliation for Boris was when his own brother, Jo Johnson, resigned from parliament this week saying he was “torn between family loyalty and the national interest.”

If only the Republican Party would put the national interest over the cult of Donald Trump. Even the ones who don’t want to play along anymore would rather resign than stand against Russian meddling, racism, defending Nazis, or Trump’s ignorance and stupidity. They would rather take their ball and go home than to stop pretending Donald Trump is NOT a narcissistic pathological liar whose hatred and dumbfuckery are tearing the nation apart. None will speak out on Trump taking money from the military for his racist border wall. The GOP won’t even speak out on Trump’s grifting and his using the presidency to increase his wealth.

While Trump boasts that he donates his $400,000-a-year salary back to the government, his golf trips have cost taxpayers, so far, over $110 million. Forbes speculates it’ll eventually be over $340 million. He’s spent over 200 days at his own resorts, which puts government money into his pocket. He’s proposing that the next G7 Summit be held at one of his failing clubs arguing it’s a great idea because it’s close to an airport. Meanwhile, Mike Pence went three hours out of his way to stay at Trump’s Irish golf resort, which involved an hour-long motorcade from his hotel to the airport to get back to Dublin.

Pence’s business in Ireland was in Dublin, but on his boss’s “suggestion,” he decided to stay 140 miles away at Trump’s Doonbeg club, continuing the Trump administration’s pattern of corruption. Additionally, it was reported this week that Pence’s PAC has spent a quarter of a million dollars at Trump properties. Don’t expect the attorney general to look into any matters of emoluments, as he plans to spend $30,000 of his own money on a party at Trump’s D.C. hotel.

Pence isn’t the only good Trump toad. At least 24 of the 32 people who have served in Trump’s cabinet (which is another issue as there are only 15 cabinet positions) and 26 (that we know of) of the 53 Republicans have spent money at Trump’s hotels, totaling (so far) over $20 million. Pence called his out-of-the-way stay at Douchebag, er…Doonbeg, “logical.” For Republicans throwing money, theirs and yours at Trump properties, it’s also logical.

Donald Trump is about the Benjamins. Trump is very easy to manipulate with flattery and one way to flatter the man is to throw money at him. It’s why foreign governments make sure to book Trump hotel rooms when they’re in the country, even when like the Saudis, they don’t actually stay there (and if you’re really going to stay at the best, you don’t stay at Trump).

The United Kingdom followed America in installing a boorish, unpopular, racist as their leader. Now, the United States needs to follow the UK’s lead and put the nation over the manbaby in the White House.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Boris Baby


cjones07302019

Boris Johnson is the new prime minister of the United Kingdom and not the “United Kingston” as Ivanka Trump tweeted. The Princess of Nepotism underscores just how much we have in common with our greatest ally, and that is stupid, narcissistic, racist leadership that may destroy our countries.

And the two leaders, Trump and Johnson, have a lot in common. They were both born in New York City and wear bleached dead wombats on their heads. They’re both liars, Boris lost a newspaper job for plagiarism and even lied about Brexit which helped lead to its passing. Trump lied about Brexit too, claiming he stood in Scotland the day before Brexit predicting it would pass, but the fact is, he was in Scotland the day AFTER Brexit passed, predicting it would cause the collapse of the European Union, something he and Vladimir Putin would rejoice over.

As The Guardian compares them, “Both are loudmouthed man-children, with a history of adultery and other scandals, whose professional success is a combination of immense privilege, unscrupulous opportunism, and relentless self-promotion, all happily promoted by a complicit environment.”

Both are bigots. Just last week, Trump told black women to “Go back to where you came from.” In the past, Boris has referred to Africans as “pickaninnies” with “watermelon smiles,” to writing in a column for The Daily Telegraph that Muslim women wearing burqas look like “mailboxes,” “bank robbers” and “letter bombers.” He’s referred to gay men as “tank-topped bumboys” and female Labor MPs as “hot totties.”

Another thing they have in common is that they were both put into office by a minority of the population. Boris actually has a smaller mandate than Trump, who won roughly 46% of the popular vote, coming in behind Hillary Clinton by nearly three million votes. Boris was chosen by the membership of the Conservative party, which accounts for roughly 0.2% of the British population. Boris’ electorate is actually older and whiter than Trump’s. Both men will refuse to be leaders of their entire nations and will cater to just their base, which is racist white people.

Trump ran for president promising to build a wall on the southern border and Mexico would pay for it. Boris lied with a xenophobic strategy as well during the Brexit campaign, claiming Turkey would join the European Union and become a back door for Syrian refugees to enter the UK. Then, he promised to build a wall on the French border and make Syria pay for it (I made that part up).

Both men are prone to attack the physical appearances of others despite the way they look. Trump insulted then-presidential candidate Carly Fiorina’s face, called Rosie O’Donnell “fat” and “ugly,” and even called a winner of his Miss Universe pageant “Miss Piggy,” despite the fact he looks like a rancid muppet. Boris once said that Vladimir Putin looked like Dobby, the house elf from Harry Potter.

It’s interesting that within another similarity, you find that one difference. Neither man would be in the top office of their respective nations today without an assist from Putin, yet Johnson will criticize Putin while Trump only lavishes worship and praise on the Russian strongman.

When Putin said, “The liberal idea had outlived its purpose,” and “the liberal idea has become obsolete.” Boris said history would prove Putin wrong. Trump, being unable to comprehend that Putin was attacking western democracies and not his Democratic Party rivals and liberals in California, rejoiced in Putin’s statement and added that Putin “congratulated” him as “every other leader of every other country” had done.

OK, that’s another difference. Boris can read and comprehend.

Before the Brexit vote, the Russian government was interfering by promoting false information on social media with Twitter bots and Russian troll farms in a similar manner in which they meddled in the U.S. presidential election in favor of Donald Trump. Cambridge Analytica aided both campaigns and may have coordinated with Russia to spread their propaganda.

If there was no Russian meddling, Trump wouldn’t be in the White House and Boris wouldn’t be moving into 10 Downing Street today. Right now, Putin must be happy despite looking a lot like Dobby.

These two babies belong to Putin but its the rest of us who will have to clean up their mess.

Support the cartoonist

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Trumped Up Brexit


cjones05282019.jpg

Voters in the United Kingdom can be just as poorly informed as their counterparts in the United States. They can also be just as easily manipulated by Russian troll farms.

While the European Union isn’t perfect and there are serious issues for each nation involved to resolve, it’s stupid for the United Kingdom to leave it and form an isolationist position. That’s exactly why Vladimir Putin directed the Kremlin to engage in election meddling in the UK’s EU vote. Russia does not have the UK’s best interest at heart.

Likewise, Russia wants what’s worse for the United States which is why they meddled in our election to help elect Donald Trump. I have often said that a voting primer is to vote against Vladimir Putin’s best interest. You would have to be an idiot to vote for Putin’s candidate.

Idiots in the United States gave us Donald Trump. Now, Boris Johnson is about to become Prime Minister because of a bunch of British idiots…and Welsh, Scottish, and Irish (though fewer Scots and Irish supported Brexit than people in England and Wales).

Theresa May had been struggling for a deal with the European Union on the UK’s exit. Boris Johnson is promising an exit even without a deal. Trump, who claims he’s a great negotiator, has operated the same way. The formula is to throw the baby out with the baby water and hope the other side returns the baby.

Trump left the Paris Climate Accord, the Trans-Pacific Partnership, NAFTA, and the Iran Nuclear Treaty without any replacements. He tried to end Obamacare without a replacement. He’s also threatened to leave NATO. Meanwhile in the Kremlin, Putin is smiling.

Boris Johnson and Donald Trump have much in common. While Boris isn’t as stupid as Trump (it takes a lot more political savvy to weave your way through British politics than it does  to dupe 62 million American voters with “build a wall and Mexico will pay for it”), he is an isolationist populist who puts his own self interest before his nation’s. Both use racist dog whistles. Both are Russian puppets. Both are isolationist and nation first guys. They both troll the least informed for support. Both have ridiculous yellow hair (though Boris’ looks real). They were both born in New York City. And, they both are willing to initiate maneuvers without any regard for the dangerous consequences. If England wasn’t an island, Boris would be chanting for a wall. If you’re a Trump or one of his supporters, yes. England is an island.

Both of these guys serve Russian interests. Boris was even named after a Russian.

Trump once referred third-world nations as “shithole” countries. Boris once compared infighting in his Conservative Party to “Papua New Guinea-style orgies of cannibalism and chief-killing.” Trump is known as a liar and loves to make shit up. Boris was once fired as a journalist for making up a quote.

Donald Trump undermined Theresa May by saying Boris would make a great Prime Minister. He also thinks he’s doing a great job as president.

Most Brits view Trump as a laughingstock. Only one in four of them believe Boris should be Prime Minister which means they’re about to get their own laughingstock. Personally, I have to find time away from laughing at our laughingstock to laugh at Britain’s. Likewise, Brits may have less focus to create Trump Babies because they’ll be making a Boris Baby.

But, the lesson for my British friends is this: Vote stupid, stupid things happen. Need an example? Baby, I can give you one.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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MayHem


cjones06142017

If you’re unfamiliar with how the British parliamentary system works, you’re not far behind me. It can be a little confusing if you’ve been in the American system your entire life with Republican versus Democratic in Presidential, House, and Senate elections. The Brits do it a little different.

I’ll explain how it works. Consider it a UK primer for dummies written by a dummy.

The UK has The Conservatives (like our Republicans) and the Labour party (which is like our Democratic party). The voters don’t elect a Prime Minister outright. They vote for Parliament and the majority party sends their leader to 10 Downing Street (their White House, sort of). The unique thing about this is that the Prime Minister is still a member of Parliament. Imagine if Donald Trump was still a Congressman while he’s also president.

Like the U.S. the United Kingdom has scheduled elections, but under certain circumstances, the Prime Minister can call a “snap” election. What sort of circumstances? Usually, because they want to. The next regularly-scheduled election was for 2020 but Theresa May got a little antsy.

After the Brexit vote the Prime Minister, David Cameron resigned. He had opposed leaving the European Union and left to make way for a Prime Minister who would support it. Enter Theresa May, the new Prime Minister. Theresa wanted to increase her majority so she would have a mandate for negotiating leaving the EU. She and the Conservatives felt they would greatly increase their numbers. It didn’t work out for them.

They still have their majority but the Conservatives lost 13 seats, thus they lost their “working” majority. The Labour party picked up 30 seats. Before the election was called the Conservatives were leading in the polls by 20 points.

What hurt the Conservatives? First off, Theresa May is a terrible campaigner (imagine Hillary but less charming). The choice to leave the European Union started to sour. The terror attacks hurt, but probably not as much as Theresa’s response which was to instill fear and hate in her nation. Theresa May was sounding a bit too much like Donald Trump. Guess who’s not very popular in the UK. Donald Trump. In The UK, “Trump” is slang for fart. It’s becoming slang for a LOT of things in the U.S.

Trump wasn’t popular in the UK before the recent attacks in London. The animosity towards him increased after his response was to criticize and feud with the city’s mayor. Theresa May didn’t stick up for the mayor. Many felt she is an appeaser to Trump. We have a bunch of those here in the U.S.

Trump is so unpopular in England that he’s now considering delaying his upcoming visit. According to The Guardian, Trump told May “he did not want to visit until he had support from the British public.” So apparently Trump is NEVER going to visit England. Trump likes adoring crowds. Not crowds that will call him a “Cheeto-stained shitgibbon.” I think “shitgibbon” is the British way of saying he’s a “shit weasel.”

Theresa May may want Trump to delay his visit. While she has a majority, she does not have a “working” majority which her party needs to control Parliament. The only way they can have the working majority is to create an alliance with a fringe political party from Northern Ireland (Parliament has several parties while we just have the two). Her party is already upset with her for calling an unnecessary election and losing seats. New video footage of May holding hands with Trump, like she did in Washington, probably won’t warm her up more to the Brits, and her party can dump her for a new PM.

If Theresa May doesn’t understand that her nation doesn’t like Donald Trump, then she’s more out of touch with the United Kingdom than I am.

Creative notes: A few of my cartooning colleagues have made comments to me about my knack for drawing crowds. Most refuse to go into it as much as I do because they hate drawing crowds. That’s OK because each of them does something really detailed and technical that I can’t draw.

Most cartoonists hate lettering and drawing a whole bunch of people. I don’t really mind either, but I don’t want to do a lot of it every day. This cartoon has both so my next drawing will probably be wordless stick figures.

I did some research on this and visited a few sites to look up British insults (again. Hey, there might be something new), and protest signs. I also made a call to my friend, Rebecca Hendin, who is an American working for Buzzfeed in their London office. She’s the perfect person for me to get details from since she’s in London, she draws cartoons, and being a fellow Yank, she knows how stupid I am. She threw about 29 links at me, each of a different protest. They’ve been having a LOT of protests in England lately.

Some signs in this cartoon are from actual protesters. Others I manipulated and made my own. There were several words I chose not to use as I want this cartoon to be printed in U.S. newspapers and some of my editors might look up the definitions. Those words are “wanker,” “Brexshit,” “tosser,” “twat”, and “bawbag.” I really wanted to use “bawbag.”

The two things I’m really proud of with my English lineage is the style of humor and the cursing. Nobody curses better than those in the UK. They’re just mean, especially the Scottish. I’m kinda scared of Scotland.

By the way, this cartoon took over EIGHT hours to draw. Yes. Eight. This is what it looked like around six hours.

20170612_053927

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Toodle Pip, EU


cjones06252016

I’m a fan of British humor. From Monty Python to The Young Ones to The Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy to the first two Beatles movies. One of the biggest aspects of the humor, or “humour” to me is the slang. American slang sucks compared to the English, especially when it comes to insults.

Donald Trump might have learned that Friday if he had the capability to comprehend and learn stuff.

On Friday after the Brexit vote Trump sent out a tweet while he was promoting his failing golf club in Scotland. There’s no larger evidence that Trump’s presidential campaign is more about his brand than policies than him taking a break to promote a failing golf club overseas.

I digress. Trump celebrated the United Kingdom leaving the European Union, even though he probably doesn’t understand it. He had it explained to him a few weeks ago on live television. Now he thinks it’s a great development. His tweet stated “Just arrived in Scotland. Place is going wild over the vote. They took their country back, just like we will take America back. No games!”

The most ignorant thing about Trump’s tweet is that Scotland voted 62% to 38% to stay in the EU. One clever twitter user replied to Trump’s tweet with “Scotland voted Remain, you weapons-grade plum.”

It didn’t stop there. Please forgive the not safe for family newspaper language here but further insults were:

Delete your golf course.

Scotland voted Remain you muppet.

Scotland voted to stay you numpty.

Scotland voted to remain, you tit.

Oi, buttplug face, Scotland are pro-EU.

Scotland voted overwhelmingly to stay in Europe you toupéd fucktrumpet

SCOTLAND VOTED TO STAY, YOU WITLESS FUCKING COCKSPLAT!

No, they aren’t you cockwomble.

Scotland voted remain  you incomprehensible jizztrumpet.

Scotland voted stay & plan on a second referendum, you tiny fingered, Chetto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon.

Scotland hates both Brexit and you, you mangled apricot hellbeast.

They voted remain you spoon.

To top his day off, one Scottish protester dropped golf balls all around him at his press conference. The golf balls were emblazoned with Swastikas. Too bad Corey Lewandowski had been fired and wasn’t there to rough the Scot up.

Trump is a spoon. A great big touped, Chetto-faced spoon.

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Brexit


cjones06242016

Sorry I didn’t write a column for the last two cartoons. I actually received a few comments on social media and more than one email asking why. I appreciate that some people actually like the columns, or even read them. I don’t consider myself a writer in the sense of a columnist or author. I write cartoons and songs. My style of writing a column is kinda easy, which is why there’s usually a typo or two I need to correct everyday. They also help keep people on the website longer (gotcha!) and encourages their return.

I didn’t write columns for those cartoons because I felt there wasn’t a need for one and the lack of any words by me helped push the cartoons. I’m not sure I’ll make up for it with this column.

The United Kingdom is proving the United States isn’t the only nation with a lot of stupid, nationalistic, and xenophobic people. They’re leaving the European Union.

I understand the desire to leave the EU. England has a great tradition and used to be an empire. They have their own identity. But I don’t think they’ve lost it by strengthening their financial structure. At this moment the pound versus the dollar is at its lowest since 1985 all because of this “Brexit” nonsense. Even Obama has come out in favor of the UK staying in the EU. It makes more sense financially and apparently the banks agree.

A lot of people attribute this to the sort of nationalism and racism we’re witnessing today in the U.S. The UK believes they’re too progressive and smart for the the likes of a Donald Trump, but they have their ultra right wing radicals willing to throw their economy in the loo and become poorer because brown people are entering their nation. One of the radicals actually killed a member of Parliament, Jo Cox, who campaigned against leaving the EU. Her killer is apparently tied to pro-Apartheid, Nationalists, and Neo-Nazi groups. Go figure. Donald Trump would probably describe the killer as passionate.

While people look at trade (no tariffs between EU members), sovereignty, defense (they’re still in NATO), and investment, a lot of this is really about immigration. Sound familiar?

People in the EU can move and work in other EU nations without the complications of passports, visas, work visas, etc. There may be a few things in there I’m not aware of since I’m not a citizen within the EU. This has also allowed immigration to increase in the UK. Right wingers don’t like brown people. That’s established and apparently it’s not just an American issue.

What could become interesting is what Scotland does down the road. They recently voted to remain a member of the UK but looking at voter turnout, they also want to remain a member of the EU. Could there be another referendum down the line on leaving once again, so they can rejoin the EU? Donald Trump is visiting Scotland today and that image alone might encourage the Scots to break away from the right wingers. Northern Ireland might be joining them.

The UK is not an ultra conservative nation. But as in the U.S., conservatives vote much more reliably than liberals or moderates. This was a very close vote. Staying home can put your nation’s fate into the hands of the wingnuts. That should be a lesson learned by those of us on this side of the pond.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!