Biggest loser

The Biggest Shoeser


cjones05122019

Negotiating with China for a better trade agreement is a good thing. In fact, Democrats may be more supportive of the trade war than free-market Republicans. What’s not good is engaging in a trade war as there’s rarely a winner. What’s even worse is that these negotiations are being led by Donald Trump.

While Donald Trump promotes himself as a great negotiator, those of us who are not cultist sycophants know he’s not. China also knows he’s not a great negotiator. China knows that Donald Trump doesn’t know that American consumers pay for the tariffs he’s increased. China knows that 90% of the stuff you own was made in China. Despite those MAGA hats being made in China…and everything else with Trump’s name on it, Donald Trump doesn’t seem to know this. If you shop at Wal-Mart, you’re paying these tariffs, even if you voted for Donald Trump. The price for your “Juicy” sweatpants just got a lot juicier.

Before the government shutdown, Democrats put an offer on the table for Trump’s border wall. He wanted more so he shut the government down. It was his way of negotiating. When the pressure got too much for him, he caved and walked away with…wait for it…nothing. A great negotiator or even a mediocre hobbyist negotiator never walks away with less than he was originally offered, less enough, NOTHING.

When you play poker, you bluff. A bluff is a lie. Poker is a game where lying is allowed. Now, if you bluff on every hand, people stop believing you and you start losing. It may not work that way with a cult, but it works that way in business. Trump used to purchase stocks of a company, make a lot of noise about purchasing more and taking over the company, then after the stock would increase because of his noise, he’d quietly sell. He was lying. Just like in poker, people stopped believing him and the strategy stopped working. That was Donald Trump being a “great businessman.”

Donald Trump lost a billion dollars over a decade. He was continuously bailed out by his daddy. For eight of those ten years, he didn’t pay taxes. The guy lost a billion dollars, took money from his dad, bankrupted casinos, but since he didn’t pay taxes for most of those years, that was him being a “great businessman.”

While losing a billion dollars, Trump published a ghost-written book he’s probably never read called “The Art of the Deal.” Many years later, he hosted The Apprentice, a reality TV show. The man has spent decades cultivating an image of a billionaire genius. He even created a fake university to teach people to be billionaire geniuses just like him, which of course was a scam.

Despite playing Hawkeye on M.A.S.H., Alan Alda is not a great surgeon or a surgeon period. You do not want Alan Alda cutting you open. You don’t want Donald Trump cutting you open either, but sycophants gave him the knife. He played a great businessman on TV, but just like Alan Alda isn’t a surgeon, Trump is not a great businessman.

You can’t believe everything you see on TV. But, you see Trump playing a dumbass, racist, sexist, bully, and narcissist on TV on a daily basis. That, you can believe.

In Monopoly of life, Donald Trump is the shoe, but his sycophants think he’s the race car. They’re just ignoring the smell.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

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Trumpy Tax Tragedy


cjones05112019

If you still believe Donald Trump is a genius, great businessman, great negotiator, and built a great company, you’re in a cult. ‬

The New York Times published a story this week in great detail about how Trump spent the 1980s losing over a billion dollars. According to the IRS, Donald Trump lost more money during this time than any other American. In fact, his losses accounted for one percent of all loses declared by American tax filers. Donald Trump shouldn’t have hosted The Apprentice and instead should have starred in the Biggest Loser.

Trump is a loser. The one positive a loser like Trump can take from losing a billion dollars is that he didn’t pay taxes for eight of those ten years.

If you’re a Trump sycophant, don’t worry. Trump had an explanation. He meant to do that. He explained in a Tweet that it was for “tax purposes” and was a “sport” among real estate developers. He then called the story “fake news.” So, did he lose all that money for tax purposes like he claimed or was the Times lying? It’s hard to keep his defenses straight. Also, if he’s only “showing” losses, does that mean he committed tax fraud?

There are two other interesting points in this story. All this billion dollar losing occurred while he was promoting himself as a huge success story, master of the universe, and educator on being a miser by publishing his book “Art of the Deal.” The real art of the deal was borrowing money from daddy while you’re bankrupting casinos.

The other highlight that piqued interests is that in 1989, he reported $52.9 million in interest income. Here’s why that’s interesting: The three years before this, he reported $460,566, then $5.5 million, then $11.8 million in interest. So, 52 after 11 is a huge jump in interest income (if you’re a Republican, that’s a difference of 41). So, where’d that interest come from? Public findings from New Jersey casino regulators show no evidence that he owned anything capable of generating that much interest. Nor is there any such evidence in a 1990 report, which was prepared by accountants he hired at his bankers’ request. So, where did that $52.9 million come from? Daddy? Russians? People paying him not to tell anyone they had sex?

Of course, if Trump really wants to prove this is all “fake news” and he doesn’t have anything to hide, he would release his taxes. But, he won’t do that because it’s not “fake news” and he has a LOT Of skeevy shady shit to hide.

Of course, Trump wants to change the laws that allow a free press to publish stories such as these. What he doesn’t want to change are the laws that enable people to shoot up schools.

There was another school shooting this week, this time at STEM School Highlands Ranch in Colorado. Eight students were injured with Kendrick Castillo dying after lunging at one of the two shooters. Kendrick Castillo died saving lives three days before the end of the school year.

Donald Trump tweeted out condolences. Then, he went to one of his hate rallies in Panama City, Florida and laughed at a supporter’s suggestion that we start shooting immigrants at the border. Trump said, “Only in the Panhandle could you get away with saying something like that.” You can also get away with saying something like that at a Donald Trump rally. Other fun things you can get away with at a Trump rally are, heiling, goose-stepping, wearing a white sheet, waving a Swastika, punching black people, and shouting obscenities at Jim Acosta.

Donald Trump is not a genius, or a great businessman, or a great negotiator, and as evidenced from his most recent hate rally, he’s not even a decent human being. And, if you’re still a Trump supporter, neither are you.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.