Biden Won

Woozy Rudy


Rudy Giuliani may have been inebriated on election night 2020 when he told Donald Trump to declare victory even though no one had called the election yet. Rudy could have been totally drunk, schnockered, three sheets to the wind, blitzed, bombed, stoned, pissed, stewed, wrecked, plastered, soaked, pickled, legless, mullered, zonked, trashed, loaded, hammered, wasted, boozed-up, and wearing a lampshade on his head and Donald Trump still would have taken his advice over what the experts were telling him.

We can call Rudy a fool all day long, and we will, but who’s the bigger fool? Rudy or the guy following him?

Donald Trump was stone-cold sober when he took Rudy’s advice and declared he won the election. In fact, Donald Trump has been declaring himself the winner of the 2020 election ever since all while promoting one insane conspiracy theory after another and according to everyone who knows him, Donald Trump doesn’t drink.

I don’t want to beat up on Rudy Giuliani too much for being drunk. But it has to be pointed out because it’s relevant. Usually, on election nights, candidates want to talk to the data people, the people with numbers. The Trump Campaign’s data was just as good as that of the Biden campaign or any media outlet, but Trump didn’t want to hear from his data guy because he didn’t like what he had to say. The only person Donald Trump wanted to talk to on election night was the drunk guy, Rudy Giuliani.

On election nights, I’m listening to the data people. I’m going back and forth from CNN’s Harry Enten to MSNBC’s Steve Kornacki. I want to know what votes are in, where they’re from, what votes are still out, and where they’re coming from? I’m listening to the data people, not the drunks. And, I’m just a cartoonist. So, why wasn’t the candidate listening to the data people on election night? Hmm?

Trump’s data guy was telling Trump there was no way he was going to win the election. He had the numbers. Campaigns don’t hire data people to tell them what they want to hear or lie to them. The data guy saw the votes Trump and Biden both had and he saw where the incoming votes were coming from. He knew Trump was going to lose. Drunk Rudy on the other hand told Trump to ignore the numbers and go ahead and declare victory.

That’s exactly what Donald Trump did. He declared victory even though his campaign had yet to tell him he won…and never would. In fact, all the votes were still being counted and nobody had won the election yet. None of the news outlets had called the election before Trump did on election night. In fact, no news outlets called the election until that Saturday, November 7, four days after the election, when the lead for Biden In Pennsylvania was above the recount threshold. We knew Biden was going to win for those four days, as that’s what the numbers were telling us, but there weren’t enough states called yet.

But, most states were called on election night. A few were toss-ups for several days, but Fox News called Arizona for Joe Biden on election night. That made Jared Kushner call Rupert Murdoch directly and whine (see what I did there?) and demand that Fox News stop calling states for Biden. This is another example of Fox News not being a legitimate news outlet. In fact, the data guy for Fox News who added up the numbers and said Biden would win Arizona…was fired. Fox News fired a guy for counting the right numbers who they hired to count numbers. Fox News still called the election for Biden on November 7.

Adding numbers should be non-partisan. Even if you are partisan, you should still be able to know two plus two equals four…unless you’re drunk. Sure, Rudy’s drunk but what’s the excuse for every MAGAt who still believes Trump won? I mean, his Attorney General knows Trump didn’t win. His lawyers, the sober ones, know Trump didn’t win. His data people know Trump didn’t win. Even his own daughter knows he didn’t win. So, if you’re a MAGAt still screaming that Trump won and there was massive election fraud, whatcha drinkin’, man?

As I tweeted yesterday, I have never been drunk enough to believe Donald Trump won the election in 2020. For that matter, I didn’t get drunk enough when he “won” in 2016.

But back to Rudy, how can you tell when he’s drunk and not just being Rudy? Was he drunk or just being Rudy all those times he butt-dialed reporters and kept talking? Was he drunk or just being Rudy each time he couldn’t figure out how to unlock his phone despite being the president of a cyber security company? Was he drunk or just being Rudy that time he called the president (sic) of the United States from Kyiv on a cell phone where Russians would listen in? Was he drunk or just being Rudy all the times he went to Ukraine looking for evidence that Ukraine helped Hillary in the 2016 election? Was he drunk or just being Rudy when he went to Ukraine looking for dirt on Hunter Biden? Was he drunk or just being Rudy when he admitted to Sean Hannity that the Trump Campaign “funneled” hush money to Stormy Daniels? Was he drunk or just being Rudy when he confused Four Seasons Landscaping for the Four Seasons Hotel? Was he drunk or just being Rudy when he held a press conference outside the landscaping place next to a dildo store? Was he drunk or just being Rudy while farting while giving testimony to a state legislature? Was he drunk or just being Rudy when he used conspiracy theories while testifying to a state legislature. Was he drunk or just being Rudy each time he believed the bullshit Sidney Powell was saying? Was he drunk or just being Rudy each time he went to a court using conspiracy theories as evidence of election fraud? Was he drunk or just being Rudy when his law license was suspended in New York and Washington, D.C. for lying in court? Was he drunk or just being Rudy each time he talked about Hunter Biden’s laptop? Was he drunk or just being Rudy when he told his son, “Sure, you can be elected governor of New York”?

And finally, was he drunk or just being Rudy when he told Donald Trump to declare he won the election even though he hadn’t?

One thing I know is that each time Donald Trump lied and grifted, he wasn’t drunk. He was just being Donald Trump.

Music Note: I listened to Peter Frampton while drawing this morning.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Trump’s Recount Disaster


Cjones09282021

Every time dumbass Donald Trump tries to steal the election, all he does is add more evidence and validation that he lost and Joe Biden won.

Donald Trump lost over 60 court cases trying to overturn the election. He lost each time he bullied state officials to overturn the election. He lost actual recounts and audits in multiple states. He lost when he tried to overturn the election through an insurrection and an attack on the United States Capitol.

All the evidence Trump lunatics claim they have has yet to be presented. Probably because those lunatics, Sidney Powell, Rudy Giuliani, and the MyPillow fucker, don’t have any real evidence. There was no ballot switching by voting machines or Italian satellites. There was no interference by the Clintons or George Soros. There was no manipulation by poll workers or the dead Hugo Chavez. There was no massive voter fraud. There was very little fake voting by dead people and undocumented immigrants. Most voter fraud that was found was committed by Republicans. The biggest case of election interference and fraud was committed by the President (sic) of the United States at that time, Donald Trump.

When Donald Trump called the Georgia Secretary of State, he said all he needed was enough votes that would give him one more than Joe Biden had. There were no reports of missing or uncounted votes. On election night while he was ahead, he demanded election officials stop counting votes. Weeks later, he was demanded that Georgia create votes. And the biggest evidence of Trump’s meddling was his not asking to find every “missing” vote, but just enough to give him one more than Biden had.

When Trump supporters who believe The Big Lie (that the election was stolen from Trump) are asked for any evidence to base their beliefs on, the best they can come up with is that Biden winning is just not believable to them. They don’t see how Joe Biden could beat Donald Trump.

And why is it so hard to believe Donald Trump lost? Donald Trump didn’t win the popular vote in 2016. Donald Trump never had an approval rating above 50 percent. Donald Trump has the lowest approval ratings of any president in the modern era, even lower than other modern one-termers, George H. W. Bush and Jimmy Carter. Yes, Donald Trump was less popular during his presidency than Jimmy Carter. Donald Trump took an amazing economy and trashed it. Donald Trump ignored and played down a pandemic that killed hundreds of thousands of Americans. Donald Trump told over 20,000 lies from the White House. Donald Trump spent his entire presidency dividing the nation. Donald Trump’s administration was full of corruption. Donald Trump was impeached twice. Donald Trump lost the House and Senate during his term. Donald Trump is also a juvenile racist sexist selfish illiterate stupid sonofabitch that doesn’t care about anything except Donald Trump. It’s hard to believe this Nazi-praising orange shitweasel with the painted combover lost a presidential election?

They also say they can’t believe Trump lost because Joe Biden didn’t campaign as much. If he had, his margin of victory over Trump would have probably been greater than the seven million it was.

And now we have more evidence Donald Trump lost the election because the recount in Arizona has confirmed he lost. In fact, that recount took votes away from Trump and gave more to Biden.

What’s even more embarrassing is the recount was supposed to find fraud and claim Trump won. The recount wasn’t supposed to assure us of election integrity in 2020. It was just to give Arizona to Trump. The recount was given to a private corporation that is pro-Trump and has zero experience recounting elections. Maybe the inability to find fraud and more votes for Trump is why it took them six months to count it.

Most recounts are done in a day or two. This took six months. It started last April, six months after the election. This fraud of an audit actually cost Arizona taxpayers over $6 million. But that Republican-led chicanery was a bargain compared to California’s bogus recall that cost around $300 million. Remember when conservatives were supposed to be the fiscally-conservative guys?

Trump isn’t happy with the Arizona recount results and falsely claimed it “conclusively shows there were enough fraudulent votes, mystery votes, and fake votes to change the outcome of the election 4 or 5 times over.” But that’s not true. It didn’t find enough “fraudulent, mystery, or fake” votes to change the outcome once. Trump, you lost. And, you lost again.

Now, Donald Trump wants Texas to conduct an audit of the election which is weird because Trump won Texas. Greg Abbott, Texas’ horrible governor, caved into Trump’s demands and announced that a “full and comprehensive forensic audit” of four counties, three that Biden won, has already started, except it hasn’t.

Why does Trump want a recount in a state he won? Because Texas has a Trump cultist as its governor and this is another attempt to cast doubt on the election. In his demand to the governor, he referred to the election as a “scam.” It’s a scam in a state he won? He better be careful because he only won Texas by 5.5 percent. It could turn out like it did in Arizona and take votes away from Trump and give more to Biden. Maybe after they finish this recount, Biden will have won Texas too.

Republicans are also trying to copy Arizona’s recount in Wisconsin and Pennsylvania. Naturally, these recounts are partisan and being attempted by Trump goons.

Here’s the thing though, kids. Trump lost. And he keeps losing. In fact, new reports are revealing his White House knew he lost and there wasn’t any fraud.

All they’re doing with these recounts is giving more confirmation that Joe Biden is the president of the United States of America.

And the continued claims the election was fraudulent only works to tear down our democracy. Continuing with The Big Lie is the most un-American thing a lot of these people do. It’s almost as un-American as voting for Donald Trump.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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