Barron Trump

Runs In The Family


cjones12062020

As we have all discovered over the past five years, and if you haven’t then you weren’t paying attention, Donald Trump projects.

The guy who had people chant “lock her up” at his hate rallies watched several of his friends be locked up. For others, he issued pardons. While accusing Joe and Hunter Biden of corruption in Ukraine, Trump and Rudy Giuliani were practicing corruption in Ukraine. All they could come up with were conspiracy theories accusing other people of what they were guilty of. Trump’s Ukraine actions made him an impeached president.

Naturally, an impeached president will pardon goons. Naturally, an impeached president only has goons as friends. If you are a friend of Donald Trump’s, you may want to reassess your life. If you work in his administration, you’ll have plenty of time after January 20 to reassess because it’s not like anyone’s going to hire you. Enjoy all those covid parties now because you’ll probably never be invited to a party ever again.

During the campaign, Trump and his people couldn’t shut up about Hunter Biden. He was the star of their convention. He was brought up at the debates. Donald Trump tried to paint the Bidens as corrupt and Joe as a bad father.

Here’s a question: If three out of five of your children go to prison, are you a bad father? That goes for pardons too. If three of your children…and a goon one of them married, all need pardons, you probably did something wrong. Naming the first one after your corrupt orange ass was a bad start. For the Trump family, issuing pardons is just another day of business. For the Trump family, corruption is the business.

Hunter Biden doesn’t need a pardon. Hunter Biden is not under investigation…not even by Trump’s Justice Department. Why? Because he didn’t do anything illegal. But Ivanka, often referred to as “Grifter Barbie,” had to answer questions in an investigation over the inauguration. That’s just warming up.

Why was Ivanka paid as an outside consultant to the Trump Organization while she was also employed by the Trump Organization? The payments were used as tax write offs for Donald Trump. Where is all that money donated to the Trump Inauguration, which Ivanka played a huge part in? What about all those patents granted to Ivanka in China? Ivanka also violated the Hatch Act by endorsing a product and campaigning for a presidential candidate while employed by the White House. A lot of government employees did that by the way.

How about all the foreign bailouts for her husband’s companies? Why did her husband lie again and again on his security clearance application? Why did he want a back channel to Russia? Why did he engage secretly with the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, who ordered the murder of a Saudi journalist under U.S. protection? In 2018 alone, Ivanka and Jared made over $138 million from foreign businesses while they were government employees.

What all sorts of goonery has Don Jr. been sniffing up? Jr and Eric have continued to promote their father’s presidency for overseas business. The Republican National Committee spent $100,000 on copies of Jr’s horrible book. The boys have grifted the government by overcharging the Secret Service at Trump resorts. Eric’s wife and Jr’s screechy girlfriend are both receiving salaries from the Trump Campaign. What a bunch of fucking grifters.

So after a couple of years smearing Hunter Biden, it’s the Trump kids who are in discussion over receiving pardons…along with Rudy, Roger Stone, Paul Manafort, and probably a few hundred more Trump goons. What I wonder, while others who don’t hold dirt on Trump may have to purchase their pardons, will the Trump kids’ pardons be Christmas gifts? I’m sure they’ll make excellent stocking stuffers.

The likes of Roger Stone doesn’t care about being seen as guilty and corrupt, but do the Trumps? Because, when you accept a pardon, you accept guilt. I guess they can make it work for them since Donald Trump has made being an impeached president kinda his thing. Being guilty, corrupt, and pardoned can be the Trump kids’ jam.

These are people who never accomplished anything on their own…ever. So with pardons, what’s one more thing to inherit?

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Fun With Faux Outrage


cjones12082019

The party that gave us baby jails is outraged that a liberal college professor would inject Trump’s youngest child, Barron, into politics and make jokes at his expense. Except the college professor didn’t do that.

Constitutional law expert Pamela Karlan was testifying before the House Judiciary Committee to give her opinions on impeachment. While answering a question from Democratic representative Sheila Jackson Lee, she invoked Barron’s name to make a point. Not one single Republican seemed to get the point.

Lee asked Karlan about the comparison “between kings that the Framers were afraid of and the president’s conduct today.” Karlan answered, “Contrary to what President Trump says, Article Two does not give him the power to do anything he wants. The Constitution says there can be no titles of nobility, so while the president can name his son Barron, he cannot make him a baron.” How dare she point out that Donald Trump has a son named Barron.

Representative Matt Gaetz, whose inclusion on the committee proves Republicans don’t take it seriously, was indignant. Gaetz is the kind of guy who thinks he’s made a strong point after making an ass out of himself. Earlier this week, he was indignant that the Republican governor of Georgia would appoint someone to the Senate that Trump didn’t endorse. Gaetz, who is from Florida, tweeted, “You are ignoring his request because you THINK you know better than @POTUS.” How dare someone think they know better than Donald Trump, especially concerning their own state. But Gaetz’s best outrage of the week was for Professor Karlan.

He screamed at her, “Let me also suggest that when you invoke the president’s son’s name here. When you try to make a little joke out of referencing Trump, that does not lend credibility to your argument. It makes you look mean. It makes you look like you’re attacking someone’s family. The minor child of the president of the United States.” Her sin was stating Trump has a son named Barron.

Here’s the funny thing about this phony outrage over someone saying Trump’s son’s name: Republicans are hypocrites.

Where’s Gaetz’s outrage over ripping children from their families at the border? It’s non-existent. For that matter, where’s Melania’s outrage?

Melania, or someone with her Twitter password, tweeted, “A minor child deserves privacy and should be kept out of politics. Pamela Karlan, you should be ashamed of your very angry and obviously biased public pandering, and using a child to do it.” The fun part of this is that Melania just used her son to go after her husband’s political foes. Republicans are always guilty of what they accuse others.

But where’s Melania’s outrage over family separation, or Trump boasting about barging into the dressing rooms of teenage beauty pageant contestants, or when he tweeted an attack at 16-year-old climate activist Greta Thunberg?

White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham got in on the act and tweeted, “Classless move by a Democratic ‘witness’. Prof Karlan uses a teenage boy who has nothing to do with this joke of a hearing (and deserves privacy) as a punchline. And what’s worse, it’s met by laughter in the hearing room. What is being done to this country is no laughing matter.” Keep in mind, that these people who don’t understand the joke are constantly explaining to us when Trump is joking.

Charlie Kirk, a friend to Trumpy Jr., tweeted, “The left has complained for 2 months it is unethical to attack 49 year old Hunter Biden yet they now shamelessly attack 13 year old Barron Trump. This is the left, they don’t care about people, children, or America, only destroying Trump.” Just a couple months ago, Kirk accused Thunberg (remember, she’s only 16) of supporting “domestic terrorism.”

Fox News’ Laura Ingraham (this is getting too good) tweeted, “Karlan’s cheap shot invoking Baron Trump’s name just lost them any shred of hope that they’re going to win this impeachment battle in the court of public opinion.” Ingraham was outraged, but not enough to bother learning how to spell Barron’s name. Let me remind you, Ingraham taunted David Hogg, who many Republicans accused of being a “crisis actor,” over his college rejections.

Other Republicans pounced. Pence pounced. The Trump campaign pounced. One Republican congressman even entered Melania’s tweet into the Congressional Record.

Immigrant children, survivors of school shootings, and teenage climate activists are all fair game for attacks from Republicans. The rule is, don’t even say the name of a Republican’s child.

A cartooning colleague of mine, who is a level-headed guy, said Karlan messed up because she fed the GOP, Trump cult, and Fox News hosts’ fake outrage for the next six months. But I have an issue with that. Why should we change the rules because Republicans are idiots and liars? Apparently, we did change the rules because Karlan apologized before the hearing was over, which of course no Republican bothered to acknowledge, just like Trump isn’t a king, can’t make Barron a baron, or that “Barron” is the name Trump used to use when he’d call reporters pretending to be someone else to talk about himself.

Melania’s campaign as First Lady is titled “Be Best,” which is an anti-bullying campaign. This is why it’s hard to create satire on this administration. The thing Republicans are best at is pretending to be victimized.

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