AOC

Heimlich and Harpies


Cjones09232021

No, I don’t really think Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is a harpy. I just liked that title for the blog. I’m a huge fan of hers.

This is the AOC dress idea I almost passed over. I didn’t need to do another cartoon on this issue, but I really liked this idea. Still, I was aiming to cover a different subject but I fell back on this one because I went to bed last night without a new cartoon idea. I had an allergic reaction to something while taking a walk through the college campus. I came home, took some generic Benadryl, and crashed around 9:00 PM.

I’m still kinda in the generic Benadryl haze so you’re not getting a real blog from me today. Yeah, I’m fine. No worries. I’ll rebound and come out swinging tomorrow.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Republican Fashionistas


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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

I did a cartoon last week on AOC and her Met Gala dress. It was the same concept as this one, with a different message on a dress. I didn’t even think about what other cartoonists were doing on it, but the next day, I saw at least three (thanks to Mike Peterson’s “Cartoon of the Day” always featured at the Daily Cartoonist). And I didn’t care. I’m usually bothered when I do the same concept as other cartoonists, but I felt I did it differently enough. In fact, there were comments at GoComics at how I “schooled” the conversatives on how to do it. Ha.

So yeah, I used the concept again here, but I felt it was different enough. I stand by it. Now, I actually have a third idea on this issue but it doesn’t use the dress. I don’t know if I can do it since I’ve already covered the subject. I don’t think it’s one of those that needs to be repeated over and over…even though I think the idea (you have not seen yet) is hilarious. I’m thinking about it.

Oh yeah. When my editor saw the rough, he said he knew the “Gilligan” line would make it into the official cartoon.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Horrifying Fashion


Cjones09172021

I read comments by right-wing morons (I know…redundant) saying it was hypocritical for Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to attend a $35,000-per-ticket event in a very expensive dress with the words, “Tax the rich” on it. Republicans are very bad at comprehension and getting points.

Actor Michael Rapaport tweeted, “Custom TAX THE RICH dress while at the most elitist event in the world. @AOC will soon be rich with a ginormous production deal from somewhere & done with Politics, guarantee it. Stop treating ANY of these people like celebrities they are public servants and work for us.” I’m so glad Phoebe ditched his ass on Friends for shooting that bird. I’m also glad that shark ate him in Deep Blue Sea, which killed another bird.

Sean Hannity wrote on his blog, “BACKLASH: AOC Under Fire for Wearing ‘Tax the Rich’ Gown to NYC’s Ultra-Elite Met Gala.”

Sure, this event costs $35,000 to attend, and up to $300,000 if you wanted to sit down. Yeah, it was attended by Rihanna, Channing Tatum, Zoe Kravitz, Iman, Megan Fox, and Lil Nax X (I know who a couple of those people are).

Talking to The Washington Post, Ocasio-Cortez said, “I mean, I think I’m kind of at the point where no matter what I do, if I wake up in the morning, there’s going to be someone who has something to say about that.”

The event at the Metropolitan Museum of Art is for charity and is one of the most photographed events of the year. Kim Kardashian wore a head-to-toe black Balenciaga haute couture outfit. I don’t know what that is and I still don’t know why Kim Kardashian is famous. Is she the one with the big butt?

Anyway, it’s impressive to attend an event Kim Kardashian is also attending, and everyone ends up talking about your butt. On AOC’s booty, it was, “Tax the rich.”

The dress’ designer is Ghanaian Canadian Aurora James who accompanied AOC to the gala. She is the founder and creative director of Brother Vellies, a luxury accessories brand centered on keeping traditional African design techniques alive, as well as founder of the 15 Percent Pledge, a nonprofit that boosts Black brands.

James started her business just three years ago with $3,000, selling her designs at the Brooklyn flea market. She went from a flea market to the Met Gala in a span of three years. Ocasio-Cortez said, “That’s really the story of our city. It’s the story of we should be centered, especially as a Black woman immigrant designer in an industry where that is severely underrepresented.”

I don’t see a reason to criticize the congresswoman for attending this event. It’s for charity and she was invited, which I think means as an elected official, she didn’t pay. There were also several other elected officials at the event, but none of them were Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez so they escaped unscathed from criticism.

The major point being missed is that Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez wore a dress saying, “Tax the rich” to an event full of millionaires and billionaires. Jesus preached to prostitutes. And from the looks of this event, AOC preached to a bunch of whores too.

For the record, I wrote this blog at 1:30 A.M. while wearing slip-on Skechers (no socks), Calvin Klein shorts (which I just realized), and a plain grey T-Shirt.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Creepy White Female


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Nobody ever asks me anymore, “What are you going to draw now that Donald Trump isn’t president (sic)?” Just like there will always be cops because there will always be crime, I will always have material because there will always be right-wing troglodyte abhorrent bullshit.

I had a lot of days where Donald Trump made satire hard. How do you make drinking bleach even more ridiculous? Even with Donald Trump barricaded in his Nazi compound in Nazi Florida, I’m still having days like that thanks to right-wing troglodytes like Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Does it bother you there are people in Congress who are not as smart as you? Does it bother you they’re not just as smart as you…but they’re knuckle-dragging morons who should be put in baby-proofed rooms for their own protection so they don’t stick forks into electrical outlets? There’s a meme on social media that the reason there’s so much ignorance in this country today is because high schools had their football coaches teach civics. That must be true because Alabama senator and former football coach Tommy Tuberville believes World War II was fought to save Europe from socialism and the three branches of our government are the House, Senate, and White House, and that one party isn’t supposed to control all three (despite all three being controlled by Republicans for two years of the Trump administration. Look it up).

Sure, a lot of these fuckers gaslight, like that Andrew Clyde idiot from Georgia who believes terrorists are tourists…even though he helped blockade a door to keep them from barging in. Be careful! They want keychains!

But some of these Republicans aren’t just gaslighting…some of them are downright stupid. And when you add other horrible traits to stupid, like bullying, stalking, pushing conspiracy theories, and advocating murder, you have a raving lunatic on your hands. And that’s what we have in Marjorie Taylor Greene, a representative from Georgia. Seriously, Georgia?

Before Marjorie Taylor Greene was elected to Congress by the most moronic, stupid, right-wing district in the nation, she was just your average everyday qanon conspiracy pushing fucknut.

This lunatic that Donald Trump said is a “future Republican star” and is “strong on everything” believes that school shootings are “false flag operations.” She believes the California wildfires were started by Jewish space lasers. She called the qanon leader who started the conspiracy theory that the government is being controlled by Satan-worshipping pedophiles a “patriot.”

Do you think Greene doesn’t believe in the Qshit? There’s a video of her stating, “There’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to take this global cabal of Satan-worshipping pedophiles out, and I think we have the president to do it.” This person is in Congress. Seriously.

Greene posted in a blog for dumbasses a link about Pizzagate, the debunked belief Hillary Clinton ran a sex slave operation out of a Washington, D.C. pizza restaurant. She wrote, “Shockingly, the website tells about information that was only whispered about and called conspiracy theories.” She believes this shit.

Greene believes in “Frazzledrip.” Oh, you haven’t heard of that? I hadn’t either until just now. Sit down for this one…and put down the coffee. It’s a belief there’s a video (nobody’s seen) that was found on Anthony Weiner’s laptop of Hillary Clinton and aide Huma Abedin sexually assaulting a child before slicing off her face and wearing it as a mask. She wrote, “Most people honestly don’t know so much. The msm disinformation warfare has won for too long!” Again, this person is in Congress. Also, what does Clinton and Abedin do with the mask after wearing it? Does it become a pizza topping?

She has questioned whether 9/11 actually happened. You would think that one would piss of conservatives, right? Wrong.

Before Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg died, Greene pushed a belief she had already died and was replaced by a body double.

And of course, she believes Donald Trump won the 2020 presidential election. What’s scarier is that the majority of the Republican Party shares that one. Do you really want to share conspiracy theories with a lunatic? But then again, the GOP is comprised of lunatics.

Before she was elected, she videotaped herself stalking David Hogg, a Parkland school shooting survivor. She even made a video (that she later tried to delete), before she was elected, where she’s outside the office of Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, crouched down to scream through the mail slot, demanding that she come out, stop pushing socialism, accusing her of wearing a diaper, and that she pays her salary.

Oddly enough, I’m now paying Marjorie Taylor Greene’s salary and she doesn’t even serve on any committees.

While AOC was leaving a congressional hearing last week (something Greene won’t be doing because she doesn’t serve on any committees), she was accosted by Greene who was shouting at her about her “radical socialism” and accusing her of supporting terrorists. Greene and the bulk of the Republican Party literally support terrorists. Her Georgia colleague, Andrew Clyde, defends them as “tourists.”

AOC said Greene was “deeply unwell” and she used to throw people like her out of her bar back when she was a bartender. MTG wants to debate AOC, but there is no winning a debate with a mouth-breathing knuckle-dragger. I can’t see Ocasio-Cortez being able to get a word in during such a debate. If Greene really wants to debate issues, perhaps she shouldn’t have done stupid shit, like calling for the execution of congressional colleagues, that got her kicked off committees.

While leaving the House floor this week, Democratic representative Eric Swalwell was screamed at by one of Greene’s aides (shockingly, she hasn’t hired very good people), who demanded he take off his face mask. This is deeply ironic because conservatives are all over social media demanding that nobody question whether or not they’ve been vaccinated and leave them alone while they skulk around unmasked…yet they’re totally triggered anytime they see someone wearing a face mask.

When you see someone outside your bedroom window with binoculars, they’ll probably be unmasked.

Swalwell said he’d had enough of the “marauding goons in the Marjorie Taylor Greene crowd who go around trying to terrorize my colleagues.” According to reports, Swalwell cursed at Greene’s aides, but I one for believe cursing at someone is acceptable when that someone is a right-wing mouth-breathing troglodyte motherfucker working for a creepy icky stalking sea hag sonofabitch.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi and others are calling for an investigation of Greene by the House Ethics Committee. It’s very unethical to bully and stalk your colleagues. The bad thing is, Greene has time since she doesn’t serve on any committees, not like she would have done any actual work if she was still on them anyway.

This bullying, stalking, and being as vile as possible works for Greene. Republicans love it. These are the same people who are defending baby jails and MAGA terrorists. Greene has raised millions of dollars by pointing out how vile and disgusting she is.

Congress needs to expel Greene. If her voters don’t like it, then maybe stop sending maniacs to Congress. The rest of Congress, Democrats and Republicans, deserve a safe working environment. But then again, most of the Republicans support terrorists.

While shouting through AOC’s mail slot, Greene said she’s a woman and proud to be an American woman. I’m not sure she’s a woman because first, she would have to be human.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Capitol Freaking Beaches


cjones07262020

Congress is full of bitches. Bitches like Rand Paul, Matt Gaetz, and Ted Yoho.

Congresswoman Liz Cheney, daughter of Dick, is being yelled at by a bunch of dicks. Liz had the gall to say something nice about Dr. Anthony Fauci, a man GOP talking points have labeled as the enemy. She’s also said things that require having a rational mind like we shouldn’t remove all our troops out of Germany.

Senator Rand Paul yelled that Liz is “leading the fight” to stop Trump from withdrawing U.S. troops from overseas conflicts. I didn’t realize we were in an overseas conflict with Germany other than they use science and we don’t. Matt Gaetz wants her removed from a conference chair. Donald Trump Jr, who is NOT a member of Congress thank God, said, “We don’t need another Mitt Romney.” We don’t need two Donald Trumps either but we got ’em.

Donald Trump Sr. tweeted, “Liz Cheney is only upset because I have been actively getting our great and beautiful Country out of the ridiculous and costly Endless Wars. I am also making our so-called allies pay tens of billions of dollars in delinquent military costs. They must, at least, treat us fairly!!!” Here’s the thing about our “so-called” allies paying tens of billions in delinquent military costs: Obama, not Trump, got them to agree to increase how much they contribute to NATO. Fact, fact, fuckity, fact, fact. I’m also surprised Trump didn’t say, “beautiful” endless wars.

Rand Paul, who took a test for covid-19, then went to mingle with his colleagues while waiting for his POSITIVE result, went on to say about Liz Cheney, “I don’t think she’s good for the country.”

Remember this, kids, the next time Republicans accuse Democrats of not being open to different viewpoints within their party and how they all must conform to the same ideology. Here the Republican Party is chastising one of their own, who agrees with Donald Trump 99% of the time, for not being sycophantic enough. The Kool-Aid drinkers are on her because she doesn’t drink enough Kool-Aid.

Maybe part of their problem with Liz Cheney is that she’s a woman. I mean, do you remember Republicans chastising Dick Cheney like this when he was the vice-president, who by the way, got us into two of those “endless wars” which they all voted for and supported. Liz Cheney has spoken out against a move that placates Vladimir Putin. Who wants our troops out of Germany? Russia and Republicans. If Trump win reelection, expect a similar move on the Korean peninsula and quite possibly Japan.

Like I said, Republicans have issues with women who speak out and disagree with them. Take Ted Yoho as an example. Yoho, a congressman from Florida, confronted New York Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, on the Capitol steps and told her she was “disgusting” for suggesting that poverty was driving crime in New York City.

Poverty doesn’t just drive crime in New York City. Poverty drives crime everywhere. It’s true that rich people engage in criminal activity also like operating fake charities, fake universities, engage in tax evasion, refuse to pay contractors, pay off pornstars, engage in emoluments violations, concoct schemes to bribe a Russian president, ask other countries for bribes of awarding golf tournaments at their shitty resorts, and sexually assault women, but it is poverty along with systemic racism that contributes to crime. But, I’m sure Mr. Yoo-Hoo, being from Florida knows so much more about New York City than a woman representative from New York City.

As Mr. Yoo-Hoo was walking away from Ms. Ocasio-Cortez, he said, (you’re going to love this, kids) “FUCKING BITCH.”

What did this MALE congressman call a FEMALE colleague? A “FUCKING BITCH.” What was that? “FUCKING BITCH.” That’s “disgusting.”

Later, he offered a non-apology denying he said “FUCKING BITCH” and when he said “FUCKING BITCH,” he wasn’t talking about Ms. Ocasio-Cortez. Also, in his non-apology, he didn’t mention her name. The hero of this story rejected his apology because it was not an apology and tweeted, “But hey, ‘bitches’ get stuff done.”

on Tuesday, Ocasio-Cortez posted a clip on Instagram from the Doja Cat song (I’m writing about it like I know what that is) “Boss Bitch.” She wrote, “You know what we say when fragile men call us bitches because we stand up for ourselves and other human beings? Shine on, fight for others, and let the haters stay mad.”

The haters have been mad ever since Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez won her race for Congress. They have repeatedly attacked her and have lied about her positions. The thing is, Yoho is just the only one to be caught saying out loud what all the other male Republicans want to say.

The real irony here is male Republicans call women bitches after they all volunteered to be Trump bitches.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Feel The Endorsements


cjones10232019

Hillary Clinton doesn’t have to do anything newsworthy for Republicans to obsess over her. They haven’t stopped talking about her on a daily basis since 2016. Donald Trump’s not over her and continues to tweet and talk about her at his hate rallies. Last week, I saw at least three cartoons by Republican political cartoonists, and that was before news about the investigation into her server came out. But after her comments on a podcast hosted by former Obama adviser David Plouffe, even Democrats are going a bit bonkers.

On the podcast, Clinton said Russians may be using a current Democratic presidential candidate to swing the 2020 election to Donald Trump, much like they used Jill Stein in 2016. She didn’t name the candidate she referred to as a female, but everyone knows she’s talking about Hawaii representative Tulsi Gabbard.

Clinton said, “I’m not making any predictions, but I think they’ve got their eye on somebody who is currently in the Democratic primary and are grooming her to be the third-party candidate.” Gabbard responded by calling Clinton “the queen of warmongers, embodiment of corruption, and personification of the rot that has sickened the Democratic Party for so long.” In the process, she failed to deny it.

While a lot of Democrats are defending Tulsi, calling Clinton’s attacks unfair on a veteran and sexist, many believe Clinton’s comments are important and provide a warning for the nation. I do too.

The New York Times published an article last week titled, What, Exactly, is Tulsi Gabbard up to? In the article, they point out how she’s co-opted the Republican conspiracy theory that the Democratic Party is “rigging” the primary with help from the media, and how she’s become a star of alt-right internet stars, white nationalists, and Russian bots.

Gabbard has received praise from Steve Bannon, white nationalist Richard Spencer, Trump-loving televangelist Franklin Graham, Libertarian Ron Paul, and far-right conspiracy theoriest Mike Cervonich.

She’s become popular on 4chan where right-wing trolls and anti-semites call her “mommy,” and The Daily Stormer, a neo-Nazi website that endorsed Donald Trump, takes credit for her qualifying for the first two Democratic debates. The Kremlin-backed Russian news outlet RT can’t stop talking about her. Additionally, there appears to be a Russian-bot campaign promoting her on Twitter.

While she hasn’t actually rejected any of that support, she finally snagged one endorsement that she felt she did have to denounce. That was the endorsement of former Grand Wizard David Duke. Gabbard said, “I have strongly denounced David Duke’s hateful views and his so-called ‘support’ multiple times in the past, and reject his support,” and tweeted, “U didn’t know I’m Polynesian/Cauc? Dad couldn’t use ‘whites only’ water fountain. No thanks. Ur white nationalism is pure evil.” Nevertheless, Duke changed his Twitter page banner to a picture of Gabbard with text reading, “Tulsi Gabbard for President. Finally a candidate who will actually put America First rather than Israel First!” Whether she likes it or not, Tulsi has been coopted like the Confederate flag.

Tulsi’s first media appearance in attacking Clinton didn’t help kill the impression that she’s fishing for far-right, conspiracy-loving, right-wing support, as it was Tucker Carlson’s show on Fox News.

Donald Trump also attacked Clinton, but mostly for her claims that Jill Stein is a Russian asset. Trump, the Russian asset, defended Stein from being a Russian asset and encouraged a third-party candidacy.

Only an idiot can’t see what David Duke, Donald Trump, Tucker, 4-chan, RT, The Daily Stormer, and Russian bots are doing. While Gabbard has rejected a third-party candidacy, if she were to run, it would probably give Donald Trump four more years.

Personally, I think when Nazis start supporting you, you should go home.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Dinosaur Snowball


cjones03312019

Conservatives are not good with humor, especially when they try to use it to make a point. Usually, the only point they’ve made is that they’re morons.

In 2015, Republican Senator from Oklahoma, James Inhofe threw a snowball on the Senate floor to prove Climate Change doesn’t exist. What’s even more messed up is that at the time, he was chairman of the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee. Seriously.

Utah’s Senator Mike Lee said, “The solution to climate change is not this unserious resolution…the solution to so many of our problems at all times and in all places is to fall in love, get married, and have some kids.” Was that a joke? I can’t tell.

Mike Lee is a Mormon from Utah and the answer to Climate Change is the Osmond solution. Let’s make more of them.

On Tuesday, Lee went on the Senate floor to take down the Green New Deal and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, one of the bill’s sponsors. He didn’t bring a snowball with him. No. Instead, he brought…wait for it…a post of Ronald Reagan riding a dinosaur. Yeah, I don’t get it either. There were other props, like pictures of Aquaman.

Basically, he used three things that aren’t real. Dinosaurs, Aquaman, and Ronald Reagan.

Creative note: This is your Tuesday Bonus Cartoon. No, it’s not set in stone that you’ll get two cartoons every Tuesday. Maybe I’m still kinda revved up after taking Sundays off…or more shit happens on Tuesday. A lot of shit happened this Tuesday.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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St. Patrick’s Green New Deal


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Here’s this week’s cartoon for CNN’s weekly opinion newsletter, Provoke/Persuade.

We originally started out planning to do a cartoon on the college cheating scandal. The producer and I had a long talk about it Thursday night and we both thought it’d still be the largest issue of the week by Sunday. After seeing the rough for this cartoon, she changed her mind and thought the newsletter should have something on St. Patrick’s Day.

On Friday morning, we were still going with the St. Paddy’s toon but she said if I came up with anything on New Zealand, which happened early Friday morning our time, that I should bounce it off her. Unfortunately, everything I came up with on New Zealand was really mean. We stuck with the St. Paddy’s cartoon. She did say that it’d be hard to do something appropriate on New Zealand.

The cartoon I drew on New Zealand was not one of the ones I submitted to CNN. I didn’t get that idea until late Friday afternoon. I doubt they would have wanted it either.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Grounded By Socialism


cjones03172019

A Boeing 737 Max 8 crashed in Ethiopia Sunday, killing eight Americans. On Tuesday, Trump tweeted, not to offer condolences to the victims and families, but to complain that “Airplanes are becoming far too complex to fly.”

Trump argued that “old and simpler is far better” than new technology being used in cockpits. He finished up by saying, “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want Albert Einstein to be my pilot. I want great flying professionals that are allowed to easily and quickly take control of a plane!”

I too wouldn’t want Einstein piloting a plane I’m in, because he’s dead. I really don’t want anyone unqualified and without experience at the helm of anything complex and dangerous where one mistake could kill thousands of people…like the presidency. Imagine having a pilot with hands too tiny, insecure that the former pilot was more popular and qualified, all while jacked up on Adderall.

Just like everything else in the world, we really don’t want Trump’s expertise on air travel. This is the guy who wanted his personal pilot of Trump Force One (yeah, that’s what they call it) to head the FAA. Currently, that position remains unfilled because, despite two years on the job, Trump hasn’t nominated anyone.

Sunday’s crash in Ethiopia was the second in five months of a Boeing 737 Max 8, the other being in Indonesia. It’s a newer aircraft and it’s very unusual for these things to go down. Tracking data and evidence from Sunday’s crash revealed parallels to the disaster five months ago in Indonesia. Pilots have been registering complaints about these planes for months.

While the rest of the world was grounding the 737, Trump and the FAA resisted. Trump was lobbied by the CEO of Boeing, Dennis Boeing (I’m assuming that’s his last name), who contributed $1 million to Trump’s inauguration (which is also under investigation because a lot of that money came from foreign sources, like Russians and disappeared).

Reportedly, Trump was resisting bipartisan calls to ground the planes because he was worried about Boeing’s stocks. He reversed course and shocked the FAA, as they thought they would make the announcement.

Boeing is an American company and the rest of the world is having a hard time trusting America right now. Nobody knows why. Ethiopia rejected requests from the U.S. for the black box from the wreckage and instead sent it to Europe to be examined.

Conservatives freaked out over the Green New Deal, claiming it would ban air travel. The Green New deal calls for building high-speed rail so air travel isn’t as necessary. But if you don’t want the big scary government sticking its nose in your business over using combustible engines, then would you want them telling you what type of Boeings you can fly in? The Green New Deal doesn’t call for taking any planes out of the sky, but Trump just did. Are we Venezuela now?

Why should we allow the government to take away our cheeseburgers while demanding how we get from point A to point B? Isn’t liberty being able to take a farting cow onto an airplane piloted by inflatable Otto from Airplane!

That is unless Otto gets that FAA job.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

A Toon For The Deranged


cjones03092019

Sycophants of Donald Trump accuse his critics of suffering from TDS, Trump Derangement Syndrome. They claim liberals, Democrats, and Never Trumpers in the Republican party react irrationally to everything Trump says and does, paying little attention to the details, his actions, and his successes. They claim people like me hate Trump just because he’s Donald Trump. It’s as if Trump hasn’t given anyone a good reason to criticize him.

The truth is, I don’t hate Donald Trump. I do dislike the man. Before he was president, he was a racist conman with little regard for anyone except himself. He’s the kind of guy who steals from charities, refuses to pay people who work for him, and starts a campaign to delegitimize a black president because of his race. He’s the kind of guy who boasts about what a great businessman he is while bankrupting a casino. He’s the kind of guy who hangs fake Time Magazine covers of himself in his golf clubs and calls members of the press while impersonating a fictional employee bragging about Donald Trump’s dating life. He’s the kind of guy who will cheat on his wife who is at home with a newborn, and then get on a bus and brag about it to another celebrity. He’s the kind of guy who seduces porn stars by showing them pictures of himself on magazine covers and comparing them to his daughter. He’s the kind of guy who says he’d like to date his daughter. Yeah, I don’t like that guy.

Who I do hate is President Donald J. Trump. I don’t suffer from TDS because I’m not irrational about it. My criticism of him has a bit more depth to it than “orange man bad.”

I hate a president who commits campaign fraud, obstructs justice, solicits help from a foreign adversary, sells his nation out to Vladimir Putin, uses the Justice Department to punish his enemies, violates the emoluments clause, seeks to divide the nation based on his hatred, throws children into cages, vilifies the weak while throwing tax cuts at the mega-rich, and calls nations where brown people come from “shitholes.” I hate a president who is illiterate and can’t stop tweeting about how he’s being victimized. I hate a president who fills government positions with unqualified people, like members of his family. I hate that he gave a security clearance to his dimwit son-in-law. I hate a president who attacks Gold Star families and POWs. I hate a president who doesn’t stop holding campaign rallies. I hate a president who encourages his supporters to commit violent acts. I hate a president who doesn’t understand tariffs, the nuclear triad, NATO, foreign policy, the three branches of government, and the U.S. Constitution. I hate a president who wants to waste billions on a stupid, useless, racist border wall as a vanity project. I hate a president who calls black athletes “sons of bitches.” I really hate a president who smears our allies while cozying up to dictators. I hate a president who gives murderers like Kim Jong Un and Muhammad Bin Salman a pass.

Orange man is bad, but orange president is dangerous.

To me, Trump Derangement Syndrome doesn’t describe his critics. It describes the cult that is his followers who ignore all the things I mentioned. It describes the people who defend Trump, and who also criticized Obama for wearing a tan suit, putting mustard on a burger, and claimed he was born in Kenya, on an apology tour, and was going to take away everyone’s guns. These are the people who attacked his wife for trying to get kids to eat more vegetables.

Now, if you really want to see deranged behavior, go back to last weekend’s Conservative Political Action Conference (which is less about being conservative and more about being TrumpTrumpTrumpTrumpOHMYGODTrumpTrumpTrump). Even before the deranged, incoherent, two-hour-plus rant from Trump, the derangement was off the charts. I’m talking about the entire conference’s obsessions with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

If you watched the conference, then you heard how she wants to ban cows, which means no more hamburgers. They claim she wants to ban planes. They air a video of her dancing during her college years, but they darken the lighting and try to make it ominous, as though the Breakfast Club dance is equivalent to sacrificing babies, which they also accuse her of.

The point at her socialism and compare it to Venezuela, instead of places like Norway and Canada. It’s funny they compare American socialists to strongmen who prop themselves up by building their military, while American socialists always advocate for less spending on the military. But then again, these are the same idiots who claim she wants to ban cows.

Former Trump aid and super creepy guy Sebastian Gorka said she is trying to realize Stalin’s dream of taking away all our hamburgers, which is something I didn’t know Stalin was into. Mark Meadows, the Republican who has a black friend, made the same argument about taking away hamburgers…and so did Ted Cruz…and so did Donald Trump Jr, and about 50 other participants at the conference.

You would think AOC was running for president and not six years from being old enough to qualify for the job. You would think she held a leadership position in her party. You would think she wasn’t just a freshman representative. But, the CPAC crowd is so obsessed with her that they barely have time to chant “lock her up,” or cry about emails, or scream “Benghazi!”

The conference ran for four days. Four days of this hamburger nonsense. Did they actually take apart her Green New Deal on specifics or get into actual details? Nope. Did they go after the MAN who co-sponsored the non-binding legislation? Nope. Do they even know his name? Nope. But for four days, “booga, booga, booga, no more hamburgers.”

Republicans project, like Trump criticizing Obama for not releasing his school records, yet he threatens his schools not to release his. But they don’t notice their hypocrisy. A conservative who accuses you of suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome probably has 148 AOC memes on his Facebook page, the majority of them dealing with cow farts. They’re oblivious.

Trump and his sycophants are the ones who truly are deranged. Unfortunately, they’re often successful in shaping the narrative. We can’t let the deranged set the tone or the agenda going into the next presidential election.

That would be deplorable.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.