Ann Coulter

Skanks On A Plane

cjones07192017

I want you, my readers to understand and appreciate the sacrifices and trauma I will put myself through to provide you informed commentary and punditry (that’s a word!). Today, I scrolled through Ann Coulter’s Twitter page. You’re welcome.

Why in the world would I want to visit She-Demon’s Twitter page? I read an article that said she sent over 30 tweets describing the horrible treatment she received from Delta Airlines on a flight last weekend. I wanted to see if that was true. So how many times did Skankzilla tweet about her mile-high injustice? I’m not sure because my eyes started stinging and I lost count after 40, and that’s not counting all the retweets. I don’t think there’s been a tweetstorm of that proportion since someone questioned the attendance of Donald Trump’s inauguration crowd.

So what sort of traumatizing experience did Delta put Coulter through to trigger such a bimbo fury? Did they force her into standby? Serve her fish after she requested chicken? Physically pummel her, bloody her face, and drag her off the plane like United did to David Dao? Amazingly find a seat that’s too narrow for even her skinny ass? Or even worse, make her sit next to a black guy? None of that. They moved her from seat 15D to 15A. Oh, the horror!

I don’t know why Delta moved her from an aisle seat to a window, but she didn’t like it. Coulter paid a $30 fee, which Delta refunded, to switch seats from the one she had originally booked. She ridiculed the refund and said that it cost her $10,000 of her time to select the seat she wanted, investigate the type of plane (it looks like a big Tylenol!), and periodically review seat options. If reviewing and researching is costing us time, then she owes me $15,000 for having to look at her Twitter page and another $5,000 for inadvertently seeing her photo (here come the night terrors).

And “periodically” review seat options? What the fuck is that shit? Did she look at seating options at 12:15 A.M, and again at 7:20, and once again at 9:15? It’s a fucking chair, and they all face forward. You’re not buying a house.

But since she did so much “reviewing,” let’s give her a tip: Ann, when the Muslim extremists hijack the plane you should know the first people they’re gonna slice with box cutters will be those in aisle seats. Delta could have saved your life!

Coulter was so incensed, that she took a photo of the unfortunate woman who got her seat and posted it on Twitter. We all knew Ann was a horrible person, but sheesh. It wasn’t that woman’s fault, Ann. Ann isn’t well known for exhibiting much compassion, but she does display hypocrisy. Last April, she dished out scorn toward David Dao after United beat him up. She tweeted, “Sorry about the dragging, but the convicted pill-mill doctor should be deported.” I guess a rich white shrill-mill having to change seats is much worse than an Asian-American being assaulted by sky marshals.

Ann wrote the book on victimization. Really! She literally wrote a book on the topic. It’s called, Guilty: Liberal “Victims” and Their Assault on America. It’s 311 pages of Coulter bitching about liberals playing victim which is ruining our nation which you can find on Amazon for $11.70. That was 2009 Ann. 2017 gives us Snowflake Ann in need of a safe space. When will rich white people finally catch a break in this nation? I dream of an America where rich, white, horrid people can fly to Palm Beach without the injustice and inconvenience of having to change seats.

Who I really feel sorry for are the people in Florida. Don’t they have enough reptiles down there?

Creative note: My first idea was to draw Coulter finding alternative air travel as a witch on a broom. But I knew someone else would also think of that idea. I was right. It’s been one day and I’ve already seen two of them, but since that was my first idea I’m going to guess it was theirs too.

Also, this column is not sexist because you can’t be sexist or misogynist toward something that’s not human.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Pucker Up For Free Speech

cjones05042017

With freedom of speech being perhaps our strongest guarantee you have to take the good with the bad.

While we celebrate Martin Luther King telling us that he had a dream, we have to stomach Ann Coulter vomiting up such filth as “It would be a much better country if women did not vote,” and “We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity.”

A lot has been made of Ann Coulter’s speech being cancelled at Berkeley. Did they cancel her to shut her up or was it because of concerns for her safety? I don’t think anyone should ever protest Coulter just for the simple reason that she likes it. I get that because I love my hate mail. When you protest Coulter that gives her more to cry about, more press coverage, and bigger paychecks and book deals. She’s already written 12. Do you want to help her publish another?

I support the likes of Ann Coulter speaking freely but don’t make a mistake about her. She’s not a champion of freedom of speech. First off, she has to get paid and she’s more of a brand than anything. Second, she’s an opponent of facts and information.

It’s fair to criticize and question the press. We should always question where information comes from. That’s how the press gets their information. But anyone targeting the press, such as Donald Trump and Ann Coulter, are not champions of freedom of the press or freedom of speech. They’re only champions for their speech which is what they accuse liberals of.

The other day I saw a comment from a conservative friend who wrote “the trust is gone with any print or media. I do think that Carlson and Hannity speak the most truth. Maybe because I want to believe in something on the air.” All she needs to believe in something, like our president, is the desire to believe it. She doesn’t need facts. She needs confirmation bias. And if anything is contradictory to what this person wants to believe, then it’s fake news.

Any person who paints the media as having a liberal agenda, including your parents who you can’t discuss politics with anymore, is an opponent of free speech. They’re an opponent because they’re telling a lie, or in most cases, repeating a lie. They want to shut down what they disagree with. A poll came out Thursday that revealed 52% of Republicans believe Obama spied on Trump. That’s some serious bullshit to be consuming there. It’s like all the Republicans who choose to believe Obama is a Kenyan-Muslim coming to take your guns. Any newspaper or network which tells you the facts about each of those will be labeled “fake news” by conservatives. Isn’t it funny that information now has opponents?

While I wouldn’t cry if Rush Limbaugh, Breitbart, and Infowars all went out of business, I support their right to exist and feed the ignorant dumbasses of our nation. But they’re not champions of free speech either since it’s not as much conservative opinion they’re dishing out (which is fine), but false information. I also want Fox News to stick around just so conservatives can have their media and not get the irony when they complain about the “lame-stream media,” that Fox News has the most viewers.

That’s the price of free speech. Sometimes when you kiss the toad you don’t get a prince or MLK. What you get is some “God-Hates-Fags” fucker from Westboro or Ann Coulter.

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Party With Nikki

cjones01142016

South Carolina governor Nikki Haley delivered the Republican response to the president’s State of the Union address and a lot of Republicans are livid. To be fair, many Republicans were supportive, but the racist wing of it freaked out.

Haley said the GOP were partly responsible for our nation’s problems. Uh oh! Then she said the party needs to calm down regarding immigration. That’s when everything hit the fan and splattered all over the ceiling. Republicans are still smarting over Haley’s removal of the hate flag from her state capitol’s grounds.

Nikki Haley was born to a Sikh Indian family in South Carolina. Ann Coulter tweeted that Donald Trump should deport her. She’s as American, if not more, than you, Ann. Where ya’ gonna deport her to? And I didn’t realize Trump had deportation authority.

Rush Limbaugh, that jolly pill-popping bastard, said “this is to me one of the greatest bits of evidence that the Republican party is not just anti conservative but it is very much pro elite.” Good news, Rusho. You’re wrong. You’re party is still warm and inviting to racists everywhere. Apparently if you’re not a knuckle-dragging troglodyte you’re an elitist.

Her message was primarily aimed at Donald Trump and to a lesser extent, Ted Cruz. Trump responded that Haley is weak on immigration and that he’s leading the polls in her state.

Ted Cruz didn’t respond to her speech as he was too busy watching Canadian curling.

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