Hater Caucus


Can Republicans take one day off from being racist? Just one? Maybe go outside, take a walk, sniff some flowers, binge Netflix (not “World War II in Color.” It has a sad ending for you), go to Costo and see if bulk mayo and white Wonder Bread is on sale (is there wheat Wonder Bread? Now, you’re thinking about that), I don’t know. But, just take a day.

In Congress, there are caucuses. What’s a caucus? A caucus is a group of representatives with common interests. They are not official. Nobody is appointed. As a group, they don’t vote on legislation. A caucus does not have to be bipartisan as a caucus can be made up entirely from members of one political party. They don’t get office space, government funding, or even government stationary. They can not hire. The only way a caucus can use congressional staffers is in pursuit of legislation, which is what a representative does anyway.

A caucus is basically a club. On the Fredericksburg bar scene, a beard club formed. Basically, it was a bunch of guys who all felt accomplished because they had the ability to grow a beard. That was their common interest. Tragically, there are congressional caucuses more ridiculous. There is an algae caucus. A lot of the caucuses have fewer members than the beard club.

Some of the caucuses currently in play are the Congressional Black Caucus, Hispanic Caucus, Asian Pacific American Caucus, and LGBTQ Caucus. There is a Jewish-Latino caucus. They’re not all on race. Many are bipartisan, like the caucuses on bicycles and minor league baseball. And there are others that focus on issues and ideology, like the Blue Collar Caucus which is pro labor. The Blue Dog Caucus is for conservative Democrats and the New Democrats is for centrists as is the Republican Main Street Caucus. There is a Progressive Caucus and there is a Libertarian Caucus. There is the Congressional Asshole Caucus that consists of Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, and Tom Cotton (I made that up but it should be a thing).

There is also a Freedom Caucus which sounds nice until you realize it’s a caucus for the Tea Party. When people like Tea Party fuckers talk “freedom,” they actually mean denying freedom to other races and people who disagree with them. It’s like joining a book club when you have zero intentions of ever reading a book and you’re just there for the cake, coffee, and gossip. In the Freedom Caucus, all their members are there for the hate.

You are probably thinking the Tea Party group is one for all the angry racists in Congress, right? You are right. The Tea Party claimed it was created in opposition to government spending, but it wasn’t created while George W. Bush was paying for two wars with tax cuts. No, it was created between Barack Obama’s election and his inauguration. It was a response to the nation electing a president who wasn’t white. It was really an anti-black-president party. But for people like Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz, the Tea Party isn’t racist enough. It’s like going to a Klan meeting and saying, “Have you guys tried hating harder?” That’s how the Oath Keepers and Proud Boys were created.

Representative, bully of children, and conspiracy theorist Marjorie Taylor Greene floated the idea of creating a new racist congressional caucus. At the very least, maybe this new group’s name won’t be as easily mocked for their name as the Tea Party, whose members are often called “tea baggers,” which is probably something else on Matt Gaetz’s phone.

Punchbowl News (a news outlet I just found out about), published a document being circulated by MTG that wasn’t supposed to be discovered outside her racist circle. The document was outlining goals for a new America First Caucus, which would be made from hard-right-wing members. It’s a caucus that would promote Trump’s agenda of America First, be anti-brown and shithole-country immigration, anti-welfare, and push lies like illegal immigrants voting while being on welfare, and that Donald Trump won the 2020 election only to have it stolen from him.

Greene says the document was a “staff level draft proposal from an outside group.” I don’t know what that is. What the hell is “staff level” from an outside group? And if it’s from an outside group, who is that outside group? She claimed she hadn’t even read it which is believable. She probably had it read to her.

Greene said the media was “taking something out of context,” but she didn’t deny she was forming a new caucus. She didn’t mention any parts of the document or the report that wasn’t true. Then she tweeted that Trump’s nationalism and “America First policies will save this country for all of us, our children, and ultimately the world.” They’ll probably save us from Jewish Space Lasers and child-sex-trafficked pizza made by reptilian deep-state devil worshippers. If anything, there should be a space laser saving us from pineapples being placed on our pizzas. Can we get a congressional caucus for that? How about a pro-black olives on pizza caucus? Black olives always make pizza better.

As Greene was avoiding admitting the caucus was a thing, Matt Gaetz said he was signing up and that the caucus will “end wars, stop illegal immigration & promote trade that is fair to American workers.” Other hard-right GOP fucknuts rumored to be joining are Arizona’s Paul Gosar and Alabama’s Barry Moore. Hopefully, membership doesn’t mean you’ll receive mistakenly-sent texts of Matt Gaetz’s dingdong. That’ll make you hate harder…or softer.

On immigration, the secret document describes the United States as a place with “uniquely Anglo-Saxon political traditions” and argues “societal trust and political unity are threatened when foreign citizens are imported en-masse into a country, particularly without institutional support for assimilation and an expansive welfare state to bail them out should they fail to contribute positively to the country.” Basically, that’s a lot of winking and nudging about the caucus being pro-white and anti non-white.

When people are promoting Anglo-Saxon “traditions,” “culture,” and “nativism,” they’re echoing the Ku Klux Klan. It sounds like some shit Tucker Carlson would promote and he probably will on tonight’s show.

And if you don’t think the document was sending out dog whistles, then don’t believe me. Believe House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy of all people. Without mentioning the specific caucus, he replied to the news by saying, “America is built on the idea that we are all created equal and success is earned through honest, hard work. It isn’t built on identity, race, or religion. The Republican Party is the party of Lincoln & the party of more opportunity for all Americans — not nativist dog whistles.” This is the same guy who flew to Mar-a-Lago so he could tweet a photo of him standing next to the king of racist dog whistles.

Liz Cheney responded to the news by saying, “Republicans believe in equal opportunity, freedom, and justice for all. We teach our children the values of tolerance, decency and moral courage. Racism, nativism, and anti-Semitism are evil. History teaches we all have an obligation to confront & reject such malicious hate.”

Normally, Republicans are much more subtle with the winking and nudging. When someone sends out dog whistles, GOP leadership is usually quiet. Unfortunately for them, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz are not quiet. Gaetz can’t even keep quiet about the naked girls on his phone. The truth is, the document is pushing an agenda most of the Republican Party supports. They’re just not supposed to say it out loud. Sheesh!

Remember when news came out about Donald Trump’s “shithole countries” comment? There were Republicans in the room and not one of them condemned him for it while also not denying he made the comments about brown people coming here after living in grass huts and why we couldn’t get more immigrants from a white country like Norway.

Republican representative Adam Kinzinger said anyone who joins this new racist Anglo-Saxon America First nativist caucus should have all their committee assignments stripped from them. But that’s already happened to Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Matt Gaetz is already useless and doesn’t draft legislation, so it’s not like they’ll care. If nothing else, it’ll give them more fodder to scream about their “Mein Kampfs.”

Here’s a free tip to members of Congress: Any club that has Marjorie Taylor Green and Matt Gaetz as members is NOT a club you want to join. And usually, any Matt Gaetz club will require that you wear a toga.

Creative note: In the first sketch of this cartoon, I had Gaetz’s hair the way it is here, and that’s how one of my proofers, Laura, saw it. She loved it and told me it was in line with the klansmen’s hoods. But, I had already made it look more like a yard gnome by that point. So, I went back and made it more pointy. So, hat tip to Laura. It’s already receiving comments. Laura, you were right.

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