Good Mike, Evil Mike


Vice-President (sic) Mike Pence will preside when the Senate and House meet Wednesday, January 6, to certify the presidential election. It’s a role every vice-president takes. Four years ago, Joe Biden presided over the Congressional certification of Donald Trump’s victory (ugh). There have been a lot of questions over what Pence will do. There is very little he can do. He will be about as effective with this as he was leading the Coronavirus Task Force.

At least 140 House Republicans plan to object to the election result. At least 13 Senate Republicans will do the same. Their objections are based solely on debunked conspiracy theories. They argue for “election integrity” while lacking Congressional integrity. These members of the House and Senate are trying to stage a coup and steal an election. They will be about as effective with this as Mike Pence was at making Donald Trump a godly man. So, what will Mike do?

He’s already signaled support for the members of Congress who will object. On Saturday, his Chief-of-Staff issued a statement saying Pence “shares the concerns of millions of Americans about voter fraud and irregularities in the last election.” Never mind the fact there was no voter fraud or irregularities. The greatest example of election fraud has come from the White House.

The statement from Pence’s office continued with, “The Vice-President (sic) welcomes the efforts of members of the House and Senate to use the authority they have under the law to raise objections and bring forward evidence before the Congress and the American people on Jan. 6th.” Uhhhhhhh….what evidence? They will be as effective at producing evidence as Mike Pence was with promoting gay-conversion therapy.

At a fucknut hate rally in Georgia today, Pence said, “I promise you, come this Wednesday, we’ll have our day in Congress. We’ll hear the objections. We’ll hear the evidence.” We’d have better luck at finding Mike Pence’s integrity.

We will all have our day in Congress. Mostly, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris will have their day in Congress. Why? Because they won the election. Republicans believe they’re going to overturn this election, but they’ll have as much luck with that as I have with not vomiting in my mouth every time Mike Pence calls the woman he sleeps with “Mother.” Ew.

Pence said we’ll “hear the evidence” come this Wednesday. The only evidence we heard of election fraud was from the tape of Trump begging and demanding the Georgia Secretary of State to overturn an election, give him imaginary votes, and thwart democracy, or else he’d send him to prison.

What will happen Wednesday will be a bunch of Republicans creating a shit show to shit on democracy for political expediency. They will further divide this nation. Instead of doing the right thing in certifying an election, even the winner they didn’t vote for, which Congress has always done…Republicans plan to attack democracy. But they’ll be about as successful attacking democracy as Mike Pence was at upstaging that fly.

I have to say, there’s nothing Republican about destroying a republic. The GOP is now a cult.

Joe Biden will be certified as our next president this Wednesday. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris will be inaugurated on January 20. The most intriguing part of Wednesday for me will be when it’s time for the vice-president (sic) to announce the winner. I’m making popcorn.

As for which version will show up on Wednesday, Good Mike Pence or Evil Mike Pence, spoiler alert! There is only Evil Mike Pence.

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