Alabama Trump Baby

Triggered Babies


cjones11142019

Republicans and Trump supporters love to refer to liberals as “snowflakes” and accuse them of being triggered. But being angered to the point of stabbing a Trump Baby balloon because it offends you is the very definition of being triggered.

Hoyt Hutchinson, the man who has admitted to stabbing a Trump Baby balloon Saturday in Alabama, is a Trump baby. Hoyt Hutchinson is a snowflake. Hoyt Hutchinson is an idiot.

The Trump Baby balloon was displayed in a park outside Bryant-Denny Stadium in Tuscaloosa, Alabama Saturday during a game between Alabama and LSU. Donald Trump, who’s been attending sporting events lately amidst cheers and boos, was one of the spectators. The only reason for Trump’s visit was to receive cheers. He was in a red southern state watching a game between two Southeast Conference teams. He didn’t go to Massachusetts to watch a game between Yale and Harvard.

The Trump Baby balloon made its debut in the United Kingdom during a visit by Donald Trump (in case you’re a Republican, or even Mr. Hutchinson, just consider that England. It’s actually England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland, but I don’t expect you to absorb that much knowledge today). A website titled Trump Baby Tour loans out six of these balloons to protests.

Sure, it’s disrespectful. It’s childish. It’s immature. It’s hilarious. This is what comes from living in a nation that guarantees your freedom of speech and right to protest. If you believe the president of the United States behaves babyish instead of presidential, you have every right to fly a giant balloon depicting him as a baby. If you don’t like that people depict Trump this way, you have every right to scream about it. That’s it. You don’t have the right to shut them up.

Hoyt Hutchinson doesn’t care about freedom. He doesn’t care about the Constitution. He only cares about defending Donald Trump. Before he became the Trump Baby Slasher, this Alabama Trump Baby posted his intentions on social media. He posted a Facebook Live video where he stated, “I’m shaking, I’m so mad right now. I’m fixing to pop this balloon, without a doubt. Stay tuned. This should be interesting.” Being so mad that you’re “shaking” is another fine example of being triggered. Also, before they pop balloons in Alabama, it’s always “fixing” to pop.

Like an Alabama Trump Baby coward, he snuck up behind the balloon, slashed it, got arrested, posted bond, and before the game was over, he created and posted a GoFundMe page for his legal defense. Seriously. I can’t wait to hear his defense in court.

The idiot openly boasts his intentions to break the law, then deprives other Americans of their rights, and then asks other idiots for money for his legal defense. It’s working as he’s already raised over $35,000. Fortunately for this idiot, all Trump supporters are idiots.

He posted another video afterward where he said, “Some liberals tried to come to my hometown and start some trouble.” Ya’ know, the last time conservatives in Alabama got mad about “liberals” coming to town to protest and accused them of starting “trouble,” Alabama didn’t come off looking that good. Why didn’t he just call them “agitators?” Hutchinson, like all Trump supporters, will end up on the wrong side of history. He’s already wrong and you don’t need more proof of that than his crime winning the approval of Ann Coulter.

Coulter said this proves “Alabama is the greatest state in the union.” It’s so great, Coulter doesn’t live there.

Let me make something clear to Trump supporters. If you need a knife in a political debate, you lost that debate.

Hutchinson wanted to destroy the balloon so Trump couldn’t see it. Why? Because Donald Trump is a baby. Hutchinson didn’t want the balloon flying in his state because he’s a baby. Ann Coulter approved of this because she’s a baby. They didn’t just lose the argument, they reinforced the one made by the Trump Baby protesters.

This may seem like a silly issue and not important at all. But it is important. People who seek to silence dissent are more dangerous than any silly balloon. People like Coulter should praise protests, not those who seek to quiet it. People should not be donating legal fees to the Alabama Trump Baby who hates the First Amendment. Even conservatives should be condemning the actions of anyone attempting to silence protests, no matter the protest.

If you don’t like what people are saying, attempt to find a way to counter it other than bringing a weapon. Use your words, even if you have to borrow them from Republican talking points. Silencing protest is not making America great again.

The best way to deal with Trump Baby is not to be a baby about it. But again, thanks for helping them make their point. The Alabama Trump Baby who slashed the Trump Baby doesn’t need a GoFundMe page for his legal defense. He needs one to help supply him with diapers.

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