Air Force One

TikTok Tulsa


cjones06242020

Donald Trump promised us his Tulsa Rally would be like something no one has ever seen before. That did not turn out to be true because I’ve seen empty seats before. Now, where was it? Oh yeah. His rally in Fredericksburg, Virginia in 2016. That room was only half full too.

Donald Trump held his first rally in three months in Tulsa, Oklahoma and it was supposed to be the energizing boost to restart his campaign. Despite being advised not to hold covidchella in a Tulsa petri dish, his plans moved forward. And expectations were high as campaign manager, for now, Brad Parscale boasted over 1 million people had signed up for tickets.  1 million people did not show up for Trump’s Saturday night hate rally but I do believe over a million laughed.

Oh, but Trump expected a million people to show up. Expectations were so high, the campaign planned events outside the arena for an overflow crowd. They set up jumbotrons so Trump fans unable to get inside the BOK arena would be able to see and hear their racist leader give his speech full of lies and praise for himself. When it was clear there was not going to be an overflow crowd, the campaign quickly tore the stage down to avoid embarrassment but left the jumbotrons up which gave the impression someone had gone to bed and forgot to turn the TV off.

The seats in the BOK are blue which was prominent with no one sitting in there. Even half the arena floor was empty. It’s estimated the attendance in the 19,000-seat arena may have been as low as 6,000. In case you’re a Republican, 6,000 is less than a million.

It was like preparing for a major party so you make 17 bowls of guacamole then no one shows up except your cousin Steve who’s in his 40s, still lives with his mom, only wears Star Trek shirts, and he’s allergic to guacamole.

Republicans will claim the arena was full and White House spokesgoon Kaleigh McEnany will do her best Sean Spicer impression and argue the arena was overflowing. Hell, they started off with six fewer people than expected as six Trump staffers on the team preparing the event tested positive for the coronavirus. It was not a good night for Donald Trump.

The Trump campaign claimed the arena was empty because the media scared Trump supporters away by reporting facts about the coronavirus. They also claimed, Brad Parscale in particular, that Black Lives Matter protesters were blocking the entrances. Before the event, the press reported there were about 200 protesters (who Trump called thugs). They also reported that no entrances were blocked.

Before the event, Donald Trump threatened protesters. That didn’t work either. Donald Trump had a very bad embarrassing night. It was like running for class president and nobody voted for you except for cousin Steve.

As it turns out, Donald Trump and his campaign got rolled by TikTok users and fans of Korean pop music. What? A prank to register for tickets went viral by TikTok users which soon went over to K-Pop Twitter. Thousands of teens who haven’t been able to march and can’t vote protested by pranking the Trump campaign. It worked. They should have told old man Trump it was a costume party just to see what would happen.

With the success of this prank, you can expect more throughout the campaign. I expect different tactics as today’s teens are creative. The irony here is they’re hitting a bully and you know what happens when you hit the bully back? He goes crying in his bunker.

The zoomers were able to generate and promote this prank while keeping it off the mainstream internet. They would delete their posts 24-48 hours after creating them, thus being quiet about it and keeping the Trump team from finding out what was going on. 4chan can only dream of being this effective.

I personally signed up for tickets with no intention of going but I wasn’t playing a prank. I wanted to see if I could still get tickets after the campaign claimed they had given out more than the arena held. I got tickets. Unfortunately, since I had to register, I also got texts and emails from the Trump campaign. I blocked the texts but I’m still getting the emails.

Donald Trump has been claiming enthusiasm for his campaign. According to John Bolton’s book, Donald Trump believes the public wants him to serve more than two terms. He’s been claiming Joe Biden doesn’t have any momentum. On Saturday night, the wind went out of his sails.

Crowd sizes are important to Donald Trump. They’re one of his greatest lies. Even when he does have giant crowds, he lies about their size. He’ll lie about this one, too, as he conducts a rampage over it behind the scenes. So much leftover guac. On Monday, he’ll probably have a new campaign manager. Campaigns usually undersell and hope to overperform. Brad Parscale oversold and underperformed. Why would you keep a guy who got rolled by meddling kids? Ruh-roh, Parscale.

Donald Trump has many more rallies planned between now and election day. He might have to get used to smaller than expected crowds because he’ll never outsmart the TikTok gang.

And he might wanna prepare for a smaller than expected turnout for him on election day.

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New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Paint Job, Con Job, Nut Job


cjones07272018

Do you know why fisherman use shiny lures? Because, fish are stupid.

Sunday night, Trump tweeted a new distraction to distract us from his treasonous behavior during the Putin summit, or maybe to distract us from his last distraction that his former lawyer/fixer taped their conversation about paying off a Playmate to keep quiet about boinking Donald Trump.

Trump tweeted, “To Iranian President Rouhani: NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. WE ARE NO LONGER A COUNTRY THAT WILL STAND FOR YOUR DEMENTED WORDS OF VIOLENCE & DEATH. BE CAUTIOUS!”

Yes, he really used all caps. When I first saw it, I thought it was something created by a person who hated Trump, being shared by other people who hated Trump who didn’t bother to check on the accuracy (a practice common with conservatives who get hooked by Russian troll farms). When something appears too stupid to have actually happened, I check the authenticity of it, and damn…this one really happened. Old man screams at foreigners.

My second thought was; “suffer consequences the likes of which few throughout history have ever suffered before?” We’re going to make them watch the pee-pee tape?

Other than being a distraction and a reason to be concerned about dementia, it reminded us of the time Trump was shouting at North Korea incoherently.

For decades, North Korea threatened to destroy the United States. The threats were about as frequent and irritating as spam phone calls promising to pay off student debt you paid off a decade ago. But, then we got a president who threatened back.

Trump threatened North Korea with “fire and fury.” The Dear Leader and Dear Leader traded insults. Then, they met for a photo-op, and Trump got to claim he solved a crisis he created. Now, instead of calling him “Little Rocket Man, Trump refers to Kim Jong Un as Chairman Kim, and when Kim thinks of Trump, he no longer calls him a dotard but instead says, “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.”

Does this mean Iran will get a summit? I don’t think so. Neither Israel nor Saudi Arabia would like that. They’d rather we actually go to war with Iran, which won’t happen either.

This is just Trump posturing and trying to give the impression his former adviser, white supremacist, and wanted fugitive Sebastian Gorka once promised. “The era of the pajama boy is over.” Now, we have the era of the fat guy tweeting on the toilet.

Trump wants a new paint scheme for Air Force One. He doesn’t like the presidential look created by John F. Kennedy. Instead, he wants red, white, and blue to give off a stronger, more muscular impression. Perhaps they can add the new mantra described by a member of his team after his G-7 debacle. “We’re America, Bitch.”

I doubt they actually paint a big giant ass on the plane. They already have one riding up front.

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Comb Over To Kenya


cjones04012015

I don’t really enjoy drawing planes and despite that I’ve done it twice this week.

I saw this story a couple days ago and I immediately saw the humor in it. I can just imagine all the birther heads exploding over Obama making a state visit to Kenya. I totally forgot about the issue then was reminded of it today. Thank God because I didn’t want to do another cartoon on Indiana just yet. I’ll probably hit that subject again tomorrow.

“There’s something on the wing” is taken from the Twilight Zone of course. It was on the show, and in the movie from way back in the early 80’s. I figure it’s well known enough to be used in a cartoon. If you’re not familiar with it then you don’t know pop culture as well as I do, or you’re not geeky enough, or you’re just not old enough and you think anything to do with “Twilight has to do with makeup wearing kissy teenage vampires.”

It goes like this in the Twilight Zone: There’s a goblin or some evil such creature on the wing of a commercial airliner and it’s destroying the engines. only one passenger can see it so of course everyone assumes he’s going crazy. John Lithgow did an exceptional job in the movie playing a freaked out passenger losing his mind. In the TV episode the goblin looks like a dude in a dog costume. It looked like Wilfred.

On another topic: Donald Trump is nuts but he’s not entirely stupid. There’s two things I believe. One; he’s not going to run for president. Trump can’t live failing at something and if he loses nobody will ever stop and pay attention while he loses his mind. Two; he doesn’t wear a toupee. The guy is worth billions so he can afford something that doesn’t look like remnants of Cocker Spaniels that were experimented on in a lab for Mary Kay. I’m sure he would go back to the fake hair store the next day and say “this looks ridiculous. Give me the George Clooney.”

Seriously, that stowaway goblin in the Twilight Zone had better hair.