Aaron Rodgers

Jerky Jock Tests


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It’s always disappointing to discover an athlete we’ve admired for years turns out to be a narcissistic condescending entitled asshole.

I used to admire Brett Favre. The odds were always against him in high school, college, and when he entered the NFL. He overcame all those odds, went to two Super Bowls, winning one. We love rooting for underdogs. Then near the end of his career, we watched him put himself before, not just his team, but the entire league while sending penis pics to women who did not want to receive penis pics (note: most, if not all, women NEVER want to receive penis pics). As a Quarterback, Brett Favre was amazing. As a human being, he’s a disappointment. While sending the penis pics, he was married with two daughters.

After he left the Packers, he was replaced by Aaron Rodgers who turned out to be a better quarterback than Brett Favre. He also seemed to be a better person. We liked him in those Allstate commercials with his teammate Clay Matthews. “I’m like a bird, I’ll only fly away.” He seemed like a guy with a $19 million-a-year salary you could relate to. Then after several years, we discover he’s an antivaxxer taking medical advice from Joe Rogan. We discovered the guy lied to his team about his vaccination status and was a total worm with his excuses. He didn’t just endanger his team’s chances of winning but also put his teammates’ health at risk.

It was almost like that time we learned Tom Brady was a Trumper, except we already hated Tom Brady. Seeing Tom Brady in Subway commercials would make me want to never eat at Subway if I was a person who ate Subway sandwiches.
To be honest, I did order from Subway a few weeks ago and instead of receiving the Italian sandwich I ordered, they sent me a whitebread microwave-bacon mayonnaise sandwich. No, there weren’t any tomatoes, just bacon and mayonnaise. I think there was one black olive on it. Subway’s response to the complaint was…there wasn’t a response. I suppose when you order from Subway, it’s a gamble. Screw you, Subway, and your five-dollar footlongs. You and Brett Favre with the so-called footlongs. You and Tom Brady deserve each other. I’m still really pissed off about that sandwich.

But I digress.

Kyrie Irving is another athlete who put himself before his team by refusing to be vaccinated. Kyrie plays for the Brooklyn Nets and New York City has a vaccine mandate for sporting events (in case you’re a Republican Brooklyn is a part of New York City).

Kyrie shared a post on Instagram stating “secret societies are administering vaccines in a plot to connect Black people to a master computer for a plan of Satan.” He also believes the Earth is flat. I’m not making that up. If there is a Satan, he’s not fucking with vaccines. He’s at Subway making bacon/mayo sandwiches on white bread.

At first, Kyrie refused to tell anyone if he was vaccinated or not. Then, he said he was unvaccinated because he was protesting people losing their jobs over refusals to be vaccinated, except nobody’s actually losing their jobs over vaccinations. Kyrie hasn’t lost his. And why do the antivaxxers always get wormy and quibble with their reasoning? Why? Because that’s the kind of people antivaxxers are.

Now, because the Nets are plagued with injuries and his teammates are overburdened by covering for him, Kyrie is being allowed to play on a limited basis. He was brought back with only 22 games left in the regular season and he can’t play home games or in Toronto, which is another city with vaccine mandates.

Novak Djokovic is the reigning Australian Open champion. He flew to Australia to defend his title without being vaccinated. The Australian Open cleared him to play and gave him a vaccination exemption, even though they required everyone else to be vaccinated. The Australian government disagreed and canceled his visa, which stuck him in a quarantined hotel with real immigrants who have real problems.

Djokovic argues he’s exempt from vaccinations because he had Covid in December….of 2020…maybe. He claims he tested positive on December 16, 2020, but on the day after (in case you’re a Republican, that would be the 17th), he was pictured at an awards ceremony for junior players…and he wasn’t wearing a mask. Djokovic believes catching COVID gives you eternal natural immunity. The simple fact that people have caught COVID more than once proves this as false. Do you know who else believes that bullshit? Rand Paul. Somebody get him one of those bacon/mayo sandwiches and beat his ass with it.

So basically Djokovic believes he can enter while unvaccinated into a country that requires vaccinations to enter. He believes he’s entitled to go maskless while he’s positive for COVID. He believes he’s so special, that he doesn’t have to wear a face mask and should be allowed to risk infecting others. Somebody put this asshole in a Subway commercial.

Now an Australian judge had decided poor Novak has been treated unfairly by the Australian government (what did they do? Force him to eat at Subway? Do Australian Subways have vegemite sandwiches?) and has restored his visa, opening a path for him to play in the Open. But, the immigration minister could still cancel his visa, which would lead to an automatic three-year ban on his entering the country.

Trusting Djokovic on vaccinations and immunity is like trusting Joe Rogan when he tells you to take horse medication, which Aaron Rodgers did. Djokovic also believes you change the makeup of water and food by using positive thoughts. I should have tried that on the bacon/mayo sandwich. “You’re an Italian BMT, damn you!” The imagining your food shit was a thing in Peter Pan. It might work in Neverland, but here in the real world, you still got a shit sandwich.

These athletes feel they are entitled and deserve better treatment than ordinary people. Some of them even demand special treatment their teammates don’t receive.

When a voter for the NFL’s Most Valuable Player award said he won’t be voting for Aaron Rodgers because of his vaccination controversy, Rodgers called the voter a “bum.” Wah.

The voter said that Aaron Rodgers is a “bad guy” and “the biggest jerk in the league.” I totally agree. An MVP doesn’t put himself before his team. Aaron Rodgers might be the best quarterback in the league this year, but he’s not an MVP.

And someone should force him to eat one of those bacon/mayonnaise sandwiches.

Music note: When I opened my music player, it was already on The Beatles, which I listened to while walking to get groceries Saturday. So I just stayed on The Beatles while coloring this.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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The Rodgers Rate


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There is a common trait among anti-vaxxers. Selfishness.

When an anti-vaxxer talks about vaccines, in addition to basing everything they believe on lies and conspiracy theories, they demonstrate just how selfish they are. They talk about how it affects them. They don’t really talk about others except when it comes to how their kid shouldn’t be forced to wear a face mask or be vaccinated, ignoring how it affects other kids. This is selfishness.

Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is a selfish greedy rude inconsiderate right-wing conspiracy-minded lying asshole. The guy makes $31.5 million a year and he can’t be considerate enough toward his teammates to get vaccinated against the coronavirus. Not only did he put himself before the team and endanger their season, but he also endangered their health. And when asked by the press, he dodged the question over his vaccination status and became a worm by saying he was “immunized.” Then he blames the press for his situation.

Surprise surprise. After refusing to get vaccinated, Aaron Rodgers caught the coronavirus. He’s going to miss at least the next two games. Last August, he told the press he was “immunized.” Now, he says never lied and he’s not “some sort of anti-vax flat-Earther.” He said on the Pat McAfee Show, “I’m somebody who’s a critical thinker. You guys know me. I march to the beat of my own drum.”

He’s not a critical thinker and he’s not marching to the beat of his own drum. He’s marching with the conspiracy theorists. When you create a problem with your own arrogance, selfishness, and narcissism, then come back with a defense that blames others, using words like “woke,” “cancel culture,” and “witch hunt,” you may as well be a part of Qanon. These terms are from the sheepish culture of the Trump cult. Quite frankly, Aaron Rodgers should not be “reinstated” as the Packer’s QB.

Rodgers said he could not get the Moderna or Pfizer shots because he has an allergy to an ingredient in the mRNA vaccines made by those companies. I hope he’s not allergic to tinfoil. Rodgers did not identify the specific allergy. I wonder how much research Rodgers has put into all the medication and injections he’s had to take throughout his career for pain and surgeries.

Rodgers says he refuses to take the Johnson & Johnson vaccine because of the horror stories he’s heard concerning it. Do you know what is dangerous to your health? Playing football. He’s worried a vaccine will lower his sperm count, seriously, but not worried about long-term effects from concussions. If Aaron Rodgers is so concerned for his health to be this much of a crying baby about it, then why is he ever on a football field? Oh yeah, $31.5 million a year.

By the way, there is no evidence that any of the vaccines for the coronavirus causes sterilization.

Remember, Rodgers claims he’s not a flat-earth anti-vaxxer and marches to the “beat of his own drum,” but he took vaccine advice from podcaster and horrible comedian fucknut conspiracy junky Joe Rogan. Rodgers started taking Ivermectin, monoclonal antibodies, zinc, vitamin C and D, and hydroxychloroquine after Rogan advised him to do so. Ivermectin is an anti-parasitic medication, usually for livestock, that the Food and Drug Administration says is NOT an effective treatment for COVID. You can only get Ivermectin with a prescription…or if you make $31.5 million a year.

Also, if you’re taking hydroxychloroquine, you outed yourself as a Trumper. Congratulations, Aaron. You just made me hate you more than I hate Tom Brady.

Rodgers said the NFL coronavirus policies are “not based on science at all,” meanwhile, he’s taking medical advice from Joe Rogan, who is NOT a doctor or a scientist. Joe Rogan is the kind of guy who’d recommend giving your dog chocolate. Rodgers also said the league’s policies are “based purely on trying to out and shame people.”

Rodgers claimed he went through his own immunization protocols he developed with his medical team. He said the immunization had been around for centuries and doctors had been using it for decades and that it was for adults and children who can’t get traditional vaccines. When asked by Pat McAfee, Rodgers refused to reveal what the immunization methods are or any members of his “medical team.” Was it Joe Rogan? It was Joe Rogan. He did say his “medical team” was composed of holistic doctors, homeopaths, “Harvard MDs and brilliant people from all over the country.” Sure.

While some vaccinated people do catch the coronavirus, 100 percent of the people taking the Aaron Rodgers’ home immunization treatment have caught the coronavirus.

Speaking of Pat McAfee, he is also a broadcaster for the World Wrestling Entertainment company, making him the perfect person for Aaron to give this interview to because professional wrestling is scripted too.

Rodgers claimed the media was lying about him, called them a “woke mob ” that was trying to “cancel” him. Yup, he’s a Trumper. He also speculated he caught the virus from someone who’s vaccinated.

Then, just like all right-wingers do, he attempted to quote Dr. Martin Luther King in his defense, which is like trying to have a black friend. Since he has at least two weeks off, maybe Aaron can go down to Dallas and wait for JFK Jr to appear.

Rodgers took MLK’s quote, “One has not only a legal, but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws.” Rodgers turned it into, “You have a moral obligation to object to unjust rules and rules that make no sense.” Well scoot over, Rosa Parks, and make room for Aaron.

By the way, Aaron, MLK was “canceled.” You, not so much.

Aaron Rodgers is selfish and a liar. He says the Packers knew he wasn’t vaccinated and if this is true, shame on the Packers for enabling Aaron’s bullshit. Now, they get two weeks without him. Letting Aaron Rodgers make his own health decisions, or allowing him to let Joe Rogan make them, is like allowing children to operate garbage disposals unsupervised. Qanon cultists shouldn’t be allowed to make big decisions and should probably only order from the kids’ menu.

But, if the Packers were lied to by Aaron Rodgers, they need to ship his ass out of town. Send him to the Jets. That’ll be a good punishment. Rodgers already whined to get traded before the season began, probably because he has to wipe his own ass. Maybe he can get Joe Rogan to do it.

There was no “woke” mob coming for Rodgers at any time, but there may be an angry mob from Green Bay coming for him now.

Aaron Rodgers is a great quarterback…and a horrible human being. We haven’t seen a quarterback this selfish narcissistic, and whiny since Brett Favre.

How can Rodgers get away with lying about his vaccination status and Farve continue playing after sending unwanted dick pics, but Colin Kaepernick still can’t get an NFL tryout after protesting racism?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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