60 Minutes

The Autocratic Club


cjones10182018

I’m seriously offended. I’ve drawn Donald Trump about a thousand times by now and the guy has never called me to pay a compliment on capturing his likeness. But, Andy Thomas, an artist in Missouri paints him once, and Trump gave him a phone call telling him how much he liked it. Trump praised the painting, and told Thomas that he normally doesn’t like paintings of himself, which is kinda bizarre since he’s stolen money from his charity in the past to purchase a few.

The painting, titled “The Republican Club,” has Trump surrounded by past presidents who are apparently in the thrall of being in his presence. You’d have to be a real tasteless sycophant to want such a thing which explains why Congressman Darrell Issa bought a print to give to Trump. The print made national news Sunday night as it was seen in the background of Trump’s interview on 60 Minutes.

The painting is really cool and classy if you’re into stuff like the dogs playing poker. It’d be funny if it was hanging in the White House ironically as a joke, except it’s not a joke. It’s there as a representation of the respect Trump believes he deserves, and the class where he thinks belongs.

Most people found the painting funny. There are only two presidents in the painting who are still alive besides Trump, and neither one of them can stand him. Eisenhower, Teddy Roosevelt, and Lincoln are seated at the table, and none of them would be members of today’s Republican Party. In fact, every Republican president is in the painting, most are in the background, and I’d bet that none of them would want to be in the same room as Trump, less enough pose to be in a painting with him. Nixon is probably there just so he won’t be the most hated guy in the room for once.

Trump is drinking a Diet Coke in the painting, and apparently, it’s working as he looks like he lost about 70 pounds. He also has a smile that looks more human than the one he real-life self-satisfied smile, which gives the impression he’s getting off on locking babies in prison.

The Foo Fighters hung a painting in their studio of their leader Dave Grohl sitting pompously in a fancy chair, wearing a smoking jacket, while holding a snifter of brandy and a cigar. It’s a huge joke to make fun of the guy. Dave knows it’s a joke and it’s still hanging in the studio. Only a narcissist would take it seriously. Donald Trump is taking his painting seriously.

Thomas has also done a similar painting of Obama surrounded by past Democratic presidents. I don’t think Obama hung a copy in the White House.

Thomas sells prints of the paintings on his website, and he’s a great artist in a very campy way. I’m sure The Republican Club will soon be hanging in Klan clubhouses all across the south very soon.

Now, with today’s cartoon, I just have to sit back and wait for Trump’s complimentary phone call.

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Dark And Stormy


cjones03272018

Stormy Daniels’ interview with Anderson Cooper aired on 60 Minutes Sunday night and it was kind of a letdown. If you’ve been following the story, you didn’t learn anything new except that someone threatened Stormy in a parking lot while she was with her daughter and the Forbes Magazine spanking actually happened. I got nothing out of this interview except for the night terrors.

The sex part of this story isn’t important except to expose the hypocrisy of the evangelicals who support Trump. These inbred hillbilly hypocritical idiots have spent decades telling us family values and morals are important to them. Now, they’re fine with supporting the kind of guy who will sleep with porn stars while his wife is pregnant, force her to sign a hush agreement, and send thugs to threaten her.

What is important is that hush agreement. Trump’s attorney, Michael Cohen, says he paid Stormy off out of his own pocket and the goodness out of his heart because he loves Donald Trump. He claims he was thinking about paying her to be quiet for years but finally did eleven days before Election Day.

While Cohen and the White House claim Trump didn’t have anything to do with the contract, Cohen negotiated it with his Trump Organization email, and even received and sent documents from Trump Tower. Between hush contracts to porn stars and Russians meeting Don Jr, Jared, and Paul Manafort, there’s a lot going on in Trump Tower that Donald Trump doesn’t know about.

Cohen’s sloppiness is going to get someone in trouble. The guy sets up a shell company in Delaware to hide the payment but mails documents to Stormy from Trump Tower. This should not be a surprise as Trump’s other attorneys have shown through press releases that they literally can not dot the i’s and cross the t’s.

If Cohen made this payment without Trump’s knowledge and never received reimbursement for it, he may be the only one in legal trouble. His payment to Stormy is an illegal campaign contribution as it exceeds the donation limit. Another problem is that the contribution was not reported by the campaign.

What needs to be discovered is if Cohen’s unbelievable explanation is true, and he’s really that stupid. If not, we need to find out if he was reimbursed and by whom. Was it Donald Trump, the Trump Organization, the Trump Campaign, another party, or another company? Maybe it was the porn fairy.

While we’re at it, the National Enquirer needs to be investigated for their payments to silence women Trump slept with. All of these payments were to help Trump get elected.

Donald Trump is a billionaire. Who in the hell just gives hundreds of thousands of dollars to help out a billionaire, especially one who is an unlikable asshole?

Stormy says the unprotected sex with Trump was consensual and slept with him as that was her punishment for being dumb enough to go to his hotel room alone. I am assuming the hotel had sealed windows which prevented her from a lighter punishment, like leaping to her death.

The event of the interview was more substantive than the actual interview. It’ll be interesting to see Sarah Huckabee Sanders spin this. Hopefully, better than her argument that Trump didn’t have anything to do with it but won arbitration in the case. If nothing else, we need to ask future presidential candidates if they’ve ever slept with a porn star without a condom, as that stupidity should be disqualifying.

Thankfully, we were all spared the punishment of seeing pics of a naked Trump, or Heaven forbid a Trump sex tape. Stormy’s lawyer, Michael Avenatti has tweeted cryptic photos of a DVD, implying it contains evidence of Trump’s Stormy canoodling.

If I can survive without ever seeing the Hulk Hogan sex tape, I can get by without seeing one with Donald Trump. But, every evangelical, Trump voter and anyone who has ever defended Donald Trump should be forced, A Clockwork Orange style to view the Trump sex tape. That may be the just punishment they deserve for what they’ve inflicted upon all of us.

Here’s the video.

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