Conservatives roll their eyes when those of us who believe in a woman’s right to choose argue that there wouldn’t be any men opposing abortion if men could get pregnant. But, I truly believe this.
Do you honestly believe that white Christian males, the whiniest demographic in the history of whiny demographics, would be up for shooting an eight-pound baby out of their pee holes? We have nightmares about catheters and kidney stones.
I’ve heard before that if men could get pregnant that there would be abortions in ATM machines. Hell, I think they would be in vending machines and would come in assorted flavors. There would be a mint chocolate chip abortion if men could get pregnant.
You would be at a football game with your buddy when all of a sudden, he’d feel a kick and say, “I’ll be right back. I gotta go to the concession stand and get an abortion. Let me know if our team scores.” And you would just nod as a reply because it would happen so often.
Like comparing battle scars, men would compare how late into the pregnancy they got an abortion. Really? You got one in the 25th week? Ha! I got one in the 35th week.
And ya’ know what, if men could get pregnant, the word “abortion” would definitely be in the United States Constitution. It would be in there a LOT.
Sorry for the short blog but I have another deadline.
Music note: It was Prince.
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