I was scrolling down my Facebook news feed yesterday and saw a Daily Beast article about Rudy Giuliani being on The Masked Singer. I thought it was weird there was an Onion headline at the Daily Beast, so I clicked the link…and it didn’t work. So, I figured there must be some sort of problem or glitch that somehow landed an Onion headline on a feed from a legitimate news outlet. I mean, Rudy Giuliani on The Masked Singer? That’s satire, right?
Nope. Rudy Giuliani appeared on The Masked Singer. But keep in mind, he also once did a drag thing where he dressed as an ugly woman who Donald Trump was hitting on. I don’t know if that was for a television program or just a Tuesday.
Just to be sure I wasn’t being hoodwinked by some parody site, I did a Google news search for “Rudy Giuliani” and “Masked Singer,” and there it was. Seriously.
As Jimmy Kimmel said, “Only Rudy Giuliani would try to overthrow the government, break wind loudly in court, sweat hair dye all over one press conference, have another one next to a dildo store and then try to rehabilitate his image by singing ‘Shake Your Groove Thing’ dressed as a pineapple.”
I have a CNN deadline I need to meet, so let’s cut my creative process short today, and do some more comedian quotes.
“Now, if you’re not familiar with ‘The Masked Singer,’ congratulations.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Once again, Rudy Giuliani ruins the day by showing people his face.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Why would Rudy even agree to this? Did he think he was going to ‘The Masked Singer Landscaping Company’?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Rudy’s episode has not aired yet, so we don’t know much beyond that. Fox isn’t revealing what his swan song was, or which animal costume Rudy wore, though it was safe to assume he was a jackass.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“One of the most chilling phrases in the English language is ‘Surprise! It’s Rudy Giuliani!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“The only people who should be unmasking Rudy Giuliani is the gang from ‘Scooby Doo,’ you know?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Note: I did a Rudy Giuliani Scooby Doo cartoon last year.
“That’s right, the criminal goon that we know for a fact is being investigated for trying to overthrow our democracy for his idiot emperor was yukking it up on a reality show. There hasn’t been anything this shocking since Lee Harvey Oswald made a guest appearance on ‘Gilligan’s Island.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“How does this even happen? I mean, a lot of people at Fox had to sign off on this. Not one of them was like, ‘Hey, maybe we shouldn’t have the guy who is under investigation for helping to plot an insurrection singing on our show’?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Jimmy makes a great point. How can any television executive believe it’s a great idea to put a gangster who helped try to overthrow the government on a reality television show, or at least one that’s not Celebrity Apprecentice. It’s tacky. Dancing With The Stars didn’t bring bin Laden on to do the Charleston. Laugh-In didn’t bring in Charles Manson, though they did bring in Richard Nixon.
But this is Fox. Don’t forget that a month or so ago, they brought on Sarah Palin who is now arguing in an unrelated court case that her appearance on the Masked Singer shouldn’t be mentioned as it’ll give the jury a biased opinion of her. That’s another thing to wonder about. How do you find 12 people in this nation with an unbiased opinion of Sarah Palin?
While Fox executives may be brain dead and totally classless, two of the judges on The Masked Singer do have class. Judges Ken Jeong (of tiny penis fame from his The Hangover appearance) and Robin Thicke (who I’m sure was famous for something before becoming a judge on this crappy reality TV show) walked out after Rudy’s mask came off.
Rudy Giuliani doesn’t need to be singing on a bad reality TV show, though I’m sure he desperately needs the cash because I heard Donald Trump stopped paying him for his “legal” work. He’s also lost his ability to practice law in New York and Washington, D.C. for being a lying goon. Where Rudy does need to be singing is before the January 6 Committee.
And if Rudy wants, I’m sure the committee won’t mind if he wears the giant pineapple costume.
Music Note: I listened to The Beatles while drawing today.
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